Arsenal of green...

Vega 22
The planet
About fifteen minutes after my last post
"Are you okay?" Efof asked as he and Johnson sat handcuffed together on the
station-to-planet transport.
"I'm fine, that Biff is actually a really nice guy, I'm meeting him for
drinks before we go back to the ship," James smiled.
The transport flew towards the planets surface.
"Welcome to Vega 22," the pilot said proudly, "The biggest paintballing
arena in the universe, even bigger than Belgium*. The entire planet is
covered in plasti-gro, the most realistic plant substitute as used in the
New Amazonian Rainforest, Antarctica."
A huge section of undergrowth folded away, to reveal a gigantic tunnel going
deep into the planet's core.
The ship glided down the tunnel, coming to rest in a huge hangar area.
"Hi you two, welcome to our supply depot," a man in combat gear said as they
got off the ship, "I'm Fleet Admiral Al Gore!"
"The same Al Gore from the 21st century?" James asked in awe.
"The very same," Al Gore nodded.
"Wow! I've always wondered, how did you cope with the 2000 presidential
elections? I mean all that effort, all that confusion, and the way it all
ended with..."
James didn't need to finish the sentence, EVERYBODY knew how the 2000AD
presidential elections had ended, it was one of the most famous events of
the twenty first century (Known as "The Boring Ages")
"Ended with what?" Efof asked.
"Well, basically what happened was..." James began.
"Can we discuss this later?" Al Gore asked.
"Well all you really need to know his after Al Gore retired from politics he
then got his own sit-com, Gore On TV, became the first person person over a
hundred to win an Olympic medal fifty years later, and after his affair with
President Georgina Bush went into hiding. I suppose this is where he ended
up," James finished.
"Now I'm the Fleet Admiral In Charge Of Paintball," Al Gore finished.
Al Gore led the two crewmembers through a series of airlocks until they
reached another huge hangar. Inside there was an arsenal big enough to make
Wales envious** There were tanks, planes, dreadnauts, missiles, satellite
control systems, motorised scooters, all of them armed to the teeth with
green paint guns.
"In 2064 my predocessor discovered the most fundamental secret to guerilla
warfare," Al Gore explained, "It works best when you just have hundreds of
tanks, planes, missiles, orbital weapons systems and for some reason
motorised scooters. As she said herself, 'God is on the side with the
biggest effing guns, because if he isn't we'll blow the shit out of him.'"
"Very religious person?" James enquired.
"Well the Pope did take a fatoire out on her when he heard it," Al Gore
shrugged.
He looked at Efof, "Hey, are you an alien?" he said when James's back was
turned.
"Yep, I'm from the planet Ffion," Efof nodded.
"Me too, I'm from the Andromeda galaxy, but shh, don't tell anyone," Al Gore
nodded.
"So what have the Blue Dwarf crew got?" James asked.
"Twenty super-soakers, but five of them don't work," Al Gore explained, "Now
come on, I'd better teach you how to use this stuff, we're going into battle
in three hours."
Suddenly a roaring sound came from down the corridor, "DIE FOWL GREEN PAINT
THINK OF SATAN!!!!"
James groaned, "Oh god, it's my room mate..."
*The EU decided that the best use for Belgium was as a giant Paintball
Arena. Birmingham is also the worlds biggest bowling alley and for three
months a year Yorkshire is the worlds biggest Sealife Centre.
**Since gaining independance in 2034 Wales now has the largest army on the
planet.
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