Tearing up McKenzie's again

Who: NewZack
Where: Dangerous Dan's Gift and Curio Shoppe
When: ???
NewZack skidded to a halt in a passageway, then darted into a gift
store. Gasping for air, he collapsed by the magazine rack. This
dimension's Richards couple had been a convenient distraction for his insane
ex, but he felt a twinge of guilt when he considered that she may very well
have killed them trying to get to him. Fanning himself with a copy of
Stardrive Weekly, he considered his options.
Find them and help them escape from his ex. Get killed in the process.
Hide in the Dwarf's ventilation system until she eventually hunted him
down. Get killed.
Steal a starbug and make off for a new life in this universe. Crash
the starbug because he never learned how to fly one. Get killed in the
crash.
He frowned. Things weren't looking too good.
-----
<The Promenade>
Zack sprinted for the new McKenzies, the Cubiepede nipping at his
heels. "Hold still, Zack! This won't hurt a bit."
"You're trying to impale me!"
The Cubiepede laughed. "I didn't say I wouldn't kill you. Just that
it wouldn't hurt."
Zack ran harder. "But being impaled hurts!"
The Cubiepede skittered after him. "How would you know? When were you
last impaled?"
Zack faltered for a moment, then realized how utterly stupid the
Cubiepede's logic was. Pushing himself, he made it to the doors of the
newly rebuilt McKenzie's. The automatic doors opened and he dove inside,
tumbling through a rack of women's shoes.
The Cubiepede barreled through the doors as they closed, then pulled up
short as she spotted Zack extricating himself from the crushed display.
"See. I told you it wouldn't hurt."
Zack looked up at her. "What are you talking about? You haven't
impaled me!"
The Cubiepede shrugged, a gesture that took almost a full minute. "I
didn't have to. You did it yourself."
Zack looked down. A four-inch cream-colored stiletto heel was sticking
out of his leg. "AAAUGH!" Zack yanked it out, shrieking in pain. "That
hurt like crazy!"
Cubiepede rolled her segmented eyes. "Well, yeah. Pulling it out.
But you didn't even notice it going in."
Zack frowned. "Small consolation."
Cubiepede grinned as her forelegs stretched into spearpoints. "That's
how it will work when I impale you."
Zack started to back away. "How do you mean?"
"It won't hurt going in. And I'll wait until you're dead before
pulling them out. See? Painless!"
Zack shook his head. "Very small consolation. How about I run away
instead?" Turning, he limped into the heart of McKenzie's.
Cubiepede sighed. She was honestly getting tired of chasing this
slightly overweight Zack. That he had eluded death this long was reflecting
poorly on her skills. Her own Zack was in far better shape, and if he saw
what a pitiful showing she was having against this weakling, he'd probably
lose respect for her. That she couldn't tolerate.
She scuttled off after him, but by now he had lost himself in the
bowels of the store. In addition to all the displays, there were several
large mounds of packing materials strewn in the aisles. Zack could be
anywhere by now.
Zack was, in fact, hoofing it through the sporting goods, an area that
had saved his life more than once. Snagging a hockey mask, he put it on as
he ran. Then he activated Cubie.
She appeared on a bicycle beside him, looking worn out. "Is she still
after you?"
Zack looked at her. "After who?"
Cubie sighed. "You, Zack."
"'Zack'? Who ees thees 'Zack'?"
Cubie groaned. "You, ya moron. If you think a hockey mask is going to
fool anyone, then you're in worse mental shape than even I had feared."
Zack chucked the mask, disappointed. "What gave me away?"
Cubie coasted as she counted. "Well, you looked like Zack in a hockey
mask, you're wearing the same suit you were when I had to deactivate, you
sound like Zack, you're wearing my control glove, you've still got your
monogrammed Parrots staff T-shirt on under your jacket, you-"
"All right, all RIGHT! Point! But what do I do now?"
Cubie looked back. "Offhand I'd say run faster."
Zack looked back. Cubiepede was gaining fast. He broke into another
sprint.