Re: A post

Blue Dwarf
James's/Doom's Quarters
A while after Doom did something with a pipe.
James Johnson returned to his quarters to get his stuff together for a trip
to the Military station, he found Doom snoring in the top bunk:
"(snorting sound) DIE INFIDELS!!! (snorting sound) FLEE PARASITES OF SATANS
UNDERGARMENTS!!! (snorting sound) BURN IN ETON YOU FLOWER PRESSING DEMON OF
THE ICE CREAM VAN"
James sighed, what had he done to deserve this? Oh now he remembered, stolen
and crashed a Blue Midget, brought an unquarantined alien on board,
abandoned his post, destroyed a planet and used an unlicensed kareoke
machine without the appropriate safety measures. Oh yeah, and Commander was
still pissed off with him for proving aliens didn't exist.
His whole time on Blue Dwarf had been hell, long, boring hell. At least here
he would meet some PROPER starship crew. He glanced around the quarters, on
his side was the phaser stolen from the set of the latest in the one hundred
and fifty long line of classic sci fi films: STAR TREK: SATURATION and a
wall full of his complete Star Trek video collection. There was also a lap
top where an email was waiting explaining exactly why Captain Kirkhard was
better than the last twenty four captains and still better then the fifty
three that came after that.
On the other side of the room was a set of shrines to every god ever
worshipped in the history of human civilisation, from Horus the Egyptian sun
god through to Barney the Dinosaur and even (although Johnson thought Doom
was pushing it here) a shrine to Scientology.
Doom liked to cover all the available bets.
Johnson really wanted to be somewhere else, he got up and left for the
station.
_____________________________
A corridor somewhere on Blue Dwarf
Efof groaned, he'd been trapped in the same hangover for three hundred
years, and had escaped only to be put on garbage duty for something he
couldn't quite remember.
Efof decided that this human tendency towards self destruction was
definitely not something to admire. He'd heard something about a Dimension
Drive being built and had put forward some info on his experience with
matter transporters (Humans were so primitive they hadn't even invented
THOSE yet) and now the ship had docked with this military station. Efof had
no idea what a military was, but it had to be a better form of transporter
than this rust bucket. He decided to visit the station.
___________________________
Vega 22 Station:
Customs
B4 Efof and Johnson get into deep sh*t
Efof stepped onto the station, he got to the customs and was instantly
rubbed up and down by this man at the door.
"Wow! They're really friendly here! That feels quite nice!" Efof smiled
happily.
The customs officer looked up, he made a lot of effort not to frisk the
poofters, he'd done it once when he'd first joined the job (Shortly after
failing the police and space core exams) and he'd been blushing for a month.
Now he'd done it again with the elephant man! This guy obviously needed
bringing in!
"Hold on! You aren't human are you?"
"Do I look human?" Efof asked.
"Right that's it! You're coming to the quarintine section!"
"Wait!" Johnson said pushing forward, "He's with me!"
Oh god! Two of them!
"Well I guess you'd better come along too then!" he said, sticking the hand
cuffs on, carefully in case he enjoyed it...
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