Coming Aboard (Aka-If this Pheonix is a-rockin, don't come a-knocki

Jeri James stepped off the shuttle in the Blue Dwarf's
landing bay. She was surprised to see there were
actually other people coming aboard with her. As they
gathered in a small group, the shuttle lifted off
again. Jeri couldn't help but feel a little uneasy
with the way the captain had shouted at them "So long
suckers!" as he announced the departure.
A red-headed hologram appeared in front of them with a
clipboard and pen. She called for silence.
"All right, new crewmembers, listen up," she began. "I
am acting First Officer Allie Fletcher, and I'm here
to potty train you grunts into submission. When I'm
done with you, you'll be asking permission to wipe
your behinds."
Someone raised their hand.
Allie sighed with frustration. "Yes?"
"Um, is mental abuse really necassary?"
Allie hesitated. "Well, no, but-"
All sounds in the landing bay quieted as one noise
began to increase. A squeaking noise, an irritating
creaking.
"What the frell?" the hologram snapped.
The same person from before raised their hand again,
then pointed over to a parked space vehicle.
"That's the Pheonix," Allie realized. She took a few
steps towards Jay's ship, then quickly retraced her
path.
The Pheonix, with the words "Just Married" written on
it, rocked back and forth.
The new crewmembers snickered.
Acting First Officer Fletcher shook her head, unable
to stop herself from laughing. "Okay people, say hello
to our newly married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Jay
Chrysler."
"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chrysler," the group called.
Jeri rolled her eyes. "Hey Miss Fletcher, any good
bars onboard? I could really use a drink."
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