Bang! ^_^

OOC - Lets blast something big and red away...
*Listens to 'Come out and Play' *
 
IC
 
-=-
Red Dwarf Flight Bay
Vannesa and Evil Kayn
Two Hours before the Meson Cannon Fires
-=-
 
> Vanessa began to panic..this replulsive creature was....touching her...pushing him away she said.."Later...right now i need to see the prisoner, take me to their verison of you"
 
"Aren't I good enough for you anymore?"
"It's not that... just I really need to see him...""Fine... that's fine by me...He's in my quarters"
The red haired Kayn walked off in a bit of a huff. Vanessa grimaced - turpentine and all the soap in the galaxy wasn't going to make her feel clean after that. As soon as she was out of seeing range she ran all the way to the quarters trying to get this all over with
 
-=-
 
Kayn paced about the whole of Evil Kayn's quarters. He was being tortured slowly for no purpose whatsoever - that's the type of person Evil Kayn was. Though it was a strange and unusual punishment. No thumbscrews, no racks, no being quartered or having his intestines removed...
 
It was being forced to listen to elevator music
 
-=-
 
Vanessa unlocked the door from the outside and peered in. The music made her cringe, and the decor was not in her tastes. Kayn looked at her with a 'Oh shit' expression.
 
"Relax... It's me... erm... the good me..."
"Jay sent you to rescue me?"
"Erm.. well... it was a mutual decision from the whole medi-bay and... two intoxicated pilots"
Kayn blinked once "Right...."
"Can we please get out of here? Before that red haired psycho notices I'm not his... urk... girlfriend"
"Why didn't you send the Evil version accross?"
"I would have now... he'd appreciate a load of bones... I'll explain later"
 
Just as she was about to run out, Vanessa noticed something. The photographs. As soon as she saw one, her jaw litterally dropped, she shuddered and threw them on the floor
 
-=-
 
Back in the flight bay the two made NO time making sure they found the starbug Vanessa came in with
"I'll fly this time...". Kayn was alread getting the bug to take off. Vanessa strapped herself in.
 
"Ready?" Kayn asked. He didn't need an answer - Vanessa's face said it all
"OK..." Kayn pressed the accelerator and...
 
Nothing
 
The ship just didn't move
 
"What's wrong Kayn?"
"Somethings wrong..." Kayn looked at the mechanics on the starbug. Everything seemed alright.
 
Then something hit the windscreen. It started rolling down slowly - a small cylindrical object.
"The spark plugs been cut.." muttered Kayn.
 
Then a valve was thrown up. Followed by a fan, three screws and then the entire starbug engine, followed by a large samurai sword which stuck out of the bonnet like the Sword in the Stone.
"Call it a hunch, but I think he's onto us..."
 
-=-
Kayn was back in his doubles quarters
"You know she almost had me fooled then" his double was laughing. "Though my Vanessa's never that formal... and she always makes the move when she landed. Flying really makes her horny"
"What you going to do with her... the Vanessa from my ship?"
"I dont know. She might be a good substitute..."
"You do realise that our ships going to blow this one to kingdom come"
"Yep" Evil Kayn smiled and looked at his watch "In about... ooh... twenty six minutes"
Kayn didn't say anything. He was just too petrified. He was also wondering whether being killed by your doppelganger constituted suicide.
 
-=-
Six minutes later
-=-
 
Kayn paced. And paced more. The last six minutes had been utter agony. Evil Kayn had upgraded his torture to the Hamster Dance music. He shoulder blocked the door repeatatively, trying to get out. Exhausted, he collapsed on the door open button.
 
It opened
 
Shoveling some stuff of his double's into his bag (like Keys for the Valkyries, a half eaten cheese sandwich, the severed hand [it just fell in] and a few knives) Kayn pegged it out of the room
 
-=-
Kayn found a blaster quickly. A few dead crewmen had met a rather pissed off Evil Kayn's samurai blade. He paused to look out of the window quickly. The Meson Cannon was looking rather daunting all the way from the Blue Dwarf. He needed to get off the ship
 
Preferrably with Vanessa. He owed it to her...
 
-=-
 
Vanessa was just stiring from unconciousness. Her vision dumbed temporarily, she tried to make sense of what was going on arround her. Her arms were killing her... and couldn't move. She was shackeled to a wall. Someone, or something was trying to wake her up with some water
 
To her it looked like a large blue mess. Half stunned and half pissed off, she kicked at it.
 
It yelped and folded in two as her shoes buried deep between where she started seeing legs. As her visioned cleared she saw it was Kayn holding a sponge, and trying to get his breath back
 
"Sorry..." she stiffeled
"It's ok..." he said in what seemed a slightly higher pitched voice "You ok?"
"I've been stuck to a wall by a mad perverted madman... i'm just fine and dandy thanks..."
 
Kayn started unbolting her shackles. "He hasn't erm... done anything.. to you yet has he?"
"No... not yet..."
"Because Jay would kill me if my double did..."
"What is it between you and my brother anyway?"
"I don't know... he just gets annoying sometimes""He says that about you... you really need to patch things up"
"Lets try to get off this ship... we have... oh, twen minutes before it is reduced to rubble by the egomaniac in the psychiatric department. I think he needs therapy"
 
-=-
The ship was too quiet. Everything on it was dead. Except a blood crazed maniac and two very scared Blue Dwarfers. Slowly they crept arround the corridors - Kayn slightly more slower than Vanessa.
 
"Why are you going so slow?" she whispered
"In case I step on something that reveals our location"
"This isn't Vietnam,Kayn...besides... I doubt you'll find a dry twig arround here..."
"Your right..."
 
Kayn started to hurry on. They both reached the flight bay without running into thier captor.
"My starbug's out of the question"
"Then let's try my Valkyrie. It should still be here since he dragged me in with it"
 
The both found the ship. It was all the way accross the flight bay. The both started making thier way slowly accross the darkened room. They were both halfway accross when Kayn noticed a flickering red dot on his shoulder. After trying to brush it off, he guessed (quite rightly) that it wasn't a red dot, but a laser sighting
 
He ducked the insuing shot "I think he found us again"
"Darn right!" Evil Kayn shouted from the door. "You are both dying whether you want to or not"
 
More laser fire shot accross the room. Vanessa leaped behind a crate, ducking her head. Kayn did the same. Vanessa couldn't attack, and while Kayn could, he couldn't see his double and was firing into the dark. And his double was waiting for Kayn to make a break for the Valkyrie...
 
"Think more latterally again" Kayn told his brain
"Again? Didn't we do that only a few days ago?" his brain replied
"Yes but we REALLY need a plan now"
"OK... erm... problem?""There's a maniac shooting at me""Well that is a bit of a problem isn't it"
"Forget that how do we get out of it!"
"Well what's stopping the maniac coming up to you and hitting you to death?"
"Me shooting at him"
"Well don't stop then! Otherwise we'll both be out of jobs!"
 
Kayn kept on shooting "OK... now what!"
"I'm thinking"
"Think harder""So what dod you want to do?"
"Survive! Simple enough?"
"Oh that's easy enough then... get someone else to shoot him for you"
"No... I need Vanessa to survive. Otherwise Jay will kill me"
"Anyone else you can use that's actually expendable?"
"That's a bit mean..."
"Anyone?"
"Wait... yes!"
 
Kayn reached into his rucksack and felt for the fleshy lump of skin. The twitching hand. Jamming it into the gun he watched as it fired all on it's own. He then turned and ran towards Vanessa whilst Evil Kayn was distracted by the decoy
 
-=-
"What's stopped him from cutting this Valkyrie up?"
"Well if he has I owe you a drink"
"I'll take that bet..."
"Well do you want something alcoholic or will you settle for a cola?"
"Start the engine for god's sake!"
Kayn did so and breathed a sigh of relief as it took off.
 
-=-
"What... but he's... "
 
Evil Kayn walked out from his hidden position and walked over to the decoy trap
 
"Oh... SHIT..."
He ran towards one of the Valkyries and took off in pursuit
 
-=-
Blue Dwarf
Psycho Department
-=-
"Still three minutes to full power" Cerebrum #5 said
"Oh what the hell... fire it now..." BD Cerebrum smiled, taking a sip of his drink
 
-=-
Space
-=-
 
The Valkyries shot out of the ship at top speed.
"Your still going to DIE..." shouted Evil Kayn
 
The shot from the Meson Cannon hit the underside of the Red Dwarf, hitting straight into the nuclear cells. The breach in the hull caused a huge radiation leak. As Evil Kayn pulled the Valkyrie out of the ship, he was bathed in the stuff.
 
And was promptly reduced to white powder.
 
-=-
 
Kayn touched the Valkyrie down slowly in the Blue Dwarf's landing bay. Vanessa climbed slowly out of the ship, shaken and smiled as her still half drunken brother came up to give her a hug.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fine now..." She walked back to the medi-bay slowly
 
Kayn then crawled out. He had radioed to Jay everything that had happened. Efof and Mike started clapping as he walked down the steps. His ego grew to about the size of St Paul's Cathederal and he waved to his adorning fans.and fell down the stairs.
 
He stood up slowly to see Jay reieveing money from Mike and Efof.
 
"Betting on me again?"
"Well we couldn't get Ascot... someone broke the TV aerial"
 
Kayn picked himself up and went over to Jay
"I think we need to patch things up..."
"Yeah... guess so..."
 
They both shook hands. Kayn turned to the elevator and walked off. As he left, Jay noticed something stuck to the bottom of Kayn's shoe that had fallen off on the floor.
 
He stared at the photograph and his jaw dropped about six feet.
 
"KAYN... WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU DO WITH MY SISTER?"
 
-=-
OOC - One destroyed double, Everyone accounted for, and we still ahve the red dwarf incase White Wolf wants to try and do some temporal devicy stuff... There... done my bit for society... ^_^

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