Kayn and space/time/diahorea
Title - Kayn does his confusing part to stop DeBugger and Wolf destroying the universe by trying to solve the time loop they are trapped in...You need a professionial! (besides...haven't posted in ages)
Kayn was waken up by his future self outside of starbug. Knowing that Kayn would answer on the third knock and almost push himself off of the ladder and onto the floor, the future self stepped back.
'Hey Kayn' said the real Kayn. he looked about the engineering deck...it really should be time he finds his quarters..suddenly, he noticed something, or the lack of something
'Where's the other two?'
'The past one's gone back to Ganymede boarding school - his dreams finished just about now'
'Thats right...I remember one of my dreams where I was playing a game i didn't understand on an uncharted planet...' Kayn began. The other Kayn was bored...he'd heard it all before. 'So wheres the other one?'
'Thats what I want to see you about' said the other one very sternly 'Technically, people like us should only hang arround once every time the great cosmos makes a cock-up...'
'Like at Christmas?' suggested Kayn
'Usually, or during seances...but thats another matter' the future one said, 'But we've been accompanying you for at least a month and a half - and that's very peculiar'
'Really?' said Kayn, trying to look like he understood
'Ok...I'll explain it again' said the future Kayn, knowing that he once didn't understand. 'Remember that film with Bill Murray where he kept on repeating the same day over and over again?'
'Oh...yeah...sorta...' said Kayn
'This could be very drastic...' said the future Kayn 'your present echo has been destroyed due to the unnatural way this time loop's correction is being carried out...'
'How is it being sorted out?' asked Kayn
'With a glow in the dark haddock and a set of industrial strength laxatives'
'Eh???'
'Never mind...first...i need you to go to the canteen and find Commander Nipel's dinner for this afternoon - it should be ravioli on toast (sorry...first thing that popped into my head) and a beef and tomato Pot Noodle'
'Why not another type of Pot Noodle?'
'Trust me'
A minute later, Kayn was back with a kettle, a pot noodle and some ravioli on toast.
'Why????' he asked again
'Now...make the pot noodle'
'How?'
'Read the instructions idiot! I can not believe how dense i was at your age!!!!!'
Ten minutes later a lovely(????) pot noodle was ready. Kayn was also ordered to pile the ravioli on top of it.
'Now eat it'
Kayn was a bit hesitant about it - but after the first bite he ate it to the last noodle...and then he felt it...
His intestines were working at dodecadrupal rate (12 times).
'Ok...stage one is completed...now give Phil these instructions' The future Kayn held out a bit of paper with some pencilled words saying 'Unplug the Drains' on them.
'Was there any point in giving me diahorea?' Kayn asked
'Sure there was - It's cuz I have to get my kicks from somewhere!'
The future Kayn faded out...and Kayn was already cursing as he waddled up to the science bays.
(OK...just needed to do something to keep myself in the plot without getting eaten...besides...I decided I'll be a part of this too!!! ^_^)