Zaniness with alternate universe doubles

"I wish they'd keep quiet out there!" yelled the alternate Dirk (hold
on. let me check an make sure it was the alternate
Dirk...............
.......................................................................
.............yup, it's the other one. there are so many doubles
walking around that one begins to lose track.) over the din of yells
and explosions from the exterior of the cinema that drowned out the
din of yells and explosions from the John Wayne western that played in
the interior of the cinema. "I can't hear a damn thing!"
"Yeah! Pisser, isn't it?" was the BD Dirk's reply. "I'm going to go
get some Junior Mints, want anything?"
"Nah, I'm cool."
"Back in a sec." Dirk made his way to the aisle and out of the
theater and into the lobby.
Behind the concession counter he was making himself at home, grabbing
boxes of Junior Mints, M&M's, and a large Coke. The irratating ruckus
of the fight outside the lobby was quickly put aside in Dirk's mind by
a voice that came from within the lobby. Worst off, it wasn't his.
Since it in no way sounded like his, it was fair to assume that it
didn't belong to his alternate self either. These two facts made it
abundantly clear that the voice came from that of a third party whom
Dirk could not place. Given this last piece of information, placing
it with the fact that the Blue Dwarf was under attack from an
alternate, evil Red Dwarf, Dirk could assume four different
situations: (1) This was a member of the Blue Dwarf crew that Dirk
had either not met or just didn't bother to remember. (2) This was a
member of the boarding party from the attacking Red Dwarf who would
then either take Dirk prisoner of kill him. (3) Dirk himself was
once again hearing a voice in his head that was different from the one
he had become accustomed to over the past month. (4) His student
loans officer had finally caught up with him.
"I said, "What do you think you're doing? We've got a ship to
plunder!'" the voice bellowed out at him and quickly eliminated
options 1 and 3, but not 2 and 4. Dirk looked up from behind the
counter at the figure standing in the doorway. The man was pretty big
and carried an even bigger gun. He wore a T-shirt with a skull and
cross-bones drawn on, badly at that, with a black magic marker. "Come
on! Hurry up!"
"Hey!" Dirk yelled back. "I'm in the middle of a movie here. It
hasn't even gotten to the best part yet."
The man with the gun made his way over to the counter and pulled Dirk
from behind it. "I don't see why Captain Lister made me bring you
anyway. Just because you're good at twiddling with electric gizmos
and fixing his pet Mechaniod, Kryten, doesn't mean you belong on a
mission like this. Now let's get a move on!"
He shoved Dirk out of the cinema and into the fray outside. The
unwilling scientist felt a good bit of his drink spill onto his hand.
"Watch it, Man! I've got a beverage!" Other men dressed in
make-shift pirate costume stormed across the floor in front of them,
apparently repelling any attacks being made by the Blue Dwarf crew.
"Now comes your bit," the big guy with the bigger gun declared as he
lead Dirk away from the theater to another part of the ship.
A few moment later, the alternate Dirk made his way out of the theater
and into the lobby looking for his other, who had been gone too long
just to get Junior Mints. He made a sweep of the lobby without seeing
a trace of the BD Dirk. The moment before he was about to give up and
return to watch the end of the film, Joe Schweeble burst through the
door with a gun in his hand, pointing it every which way like a bad
episode of Charlie's Angels and noticed the alternate Dirk standing
next to the hallway to the theaters. "Oh, it's you," Joe said as he
lowered his guard. "Wait!" he lifted his gun back into its aggressive
position out in front of him and aimed directly at the Red Dwarf Dirk.
"How do I know it's the real you? Tell me something that only the
Blue Dwarf Dirk would know."
"You have a glue fetish," the alternate scientist said. It was true
that the alternate universe, Red Dwarf Joe Schweeble did indeed have
some crazed fetish that involved glue, among other unnameble things.
Joe remembered the incided he had with his Robot Wars entry(post 1652)
and the one with Dirk directly following it(post 1656).
"Um....yeah," he said as he lowered his gun. Just to make sure, he
used his GELF abilities to scrutinize the Dirk in front of him. Since
both Dirk had the exact same physical appearance, as well as acted the
same, the fact that this Dirk was from the Red Dwarf was not perceived
by Joe. "We'd better get out of here before something happens."
OOC-if you want to take this bit away joe, feel free. just remember
that this dirk isn't evil. he's the exact same as the blue dwarf dirk