Runaway Hamsters Galore!

Who: Holly, White Wolf one, Two And Three
Where: main Hologram Simulation room
When: Ahh, just before things get Wacko...
The two hamsters sat in separate chairs, accross from Holly's screen.
"I think this is completely unneccesary." Said the dark furred
hamster.
"That's why I want Holly to generate this hologram, according to Dr.
Cerebrum, I need a second opinion on decisions because I'm having
trouble making decisions. Ok Holly, Start the hologram." Said the tan
furred hamster.
Another hamster shimmered into existence between the two of them. It
looked at the tan furred hamster, and exclaimed, "Who are you>"
"Oh, there's some great advice." remarked the dark furred hamster.
The hologram hamster spun around, and saw the dark furred hamster,
and yelped, "It's Darken! Run for you life!"
"Excuse ME?!?" mocked the dark furred hamster.
"No, he's not Darken." Explained the tan furred hamster.
"Ok, then who are you *both* then?" Asked the hologramatic hamster.
"The names White Wolf." Replied the dark furred hamster.
"I'm glad you know who I am, but I asked who you both were." Replied
the hologramatic hamster.
"That who he is, and I am." Said the tan furred hamster.
"Let me get this straight, your both White Wolf..." inquired the
hologramatic hamster.
"Yes, we're both White Wolf, after you hopped into a G.V.E.
splitter." Said the Dark furred hamster.
"Oh, and that makes me?" Said the Hologramatic hamster.
"A Hologram." Said the tan furred hamster.
"Oh, come on... Really?" blurted the hologram hamster as he reached
up and felt the large H on his forehead, "Oh Crap! I'm Dead, aren't
I?"
"Your not dead, you moron! Mister indecisive here had Holly bring you
back from a recent mind backup before we went splitsville, so he
could have help with his decision making processes" yelled the dark
furred hamster, then turning to the tan furred hamster, "I told you
it wouldn't do any good!"
"Hey, It sounded like good advice when Cerebrum said it..." Started
the tan furred hamster.
"Um, White Wolf?" inquired Holly from the screen.
"Yes?" answered all three hamsters.
"Alota's paging you." replied Holly.
"Put her on!" ordered the Hologramatic hamster.
"Now, wait just a minute..." interuppted the tan furred hamster.
"Shut up, fluffy pants. Let Holly put her through." muttered the dark
furred hamster.
Holly's head turned back and forth, and then said "An IQ of 6000, and
I have to take orders from the three blind mice who can't make up
thier minds..."
"Excuse me, we're not mice. We're space hamsters." started the
hologramatic hamster.
"well, At least, two of us are anyways..." Remarked the dark furred
hamster.
"See? That's what I mean!" said the tan furred hamster.
"What are you talking about, Lame brain?" sneered the dark furred
hamster.
"I think I know what he means - We all can't be White Wolf." replied
the hologramatic hamster.
"Well, how are we supposed to handle it? Democratically? And vote on
everything we do?" muttered the dark furred hamster
"A vote! Ok, which one of you wants to take the page?" replied Holly,
still trying to get an answer out of the three.
"Yes!" responded the tan furred hamster.
"No!" Yelled the hologramatic hamster, "We can't run a ship that way!"
"He's right you know." said Holly.
"You stay out of this, it's between the three of us." blurted the
dark furred hamster.
"And who would that be?" said the hologramatic hamster, folding his
arms accross his chest.
"That would be me, you and him." replied the dark furred hamster.
"No, I meant what's our names?" countered the hologramatic hamster.
"Um... Me, Myself, and I?" Ventured the tan furred hamster.
"No you boghead, he means White Wolf! Wait a minute... I see what you
mean. There can't be three White Wolf's on board giving orders."
replied the dark furred hamster.
"Exactly. We need only one of us to be in charge. And logic dictates
that should be me, since both of you are only half of me." said the
Hologramatic hamster.
"Logic?!? your just a hologram, and he's a Wuss! I'm the one who
should be making the decisions..." remarked the dark furred hamster.
Holly interuppted, "I'm Sorry Sir... Um, Sirs. I have some important
news that needs one or all of your attention. We are under attack by
the Red Dwarf, and thier Captain, Captain Lister, says he's claiming
the Blue Dwarf as his Pirate plunder."
"Yipes! Holly, Where's the nearest escape pod?! We've got to get out
of here!" yelled the tan furred hamster.
"Holly, Get me Captain Niples." Ordered the Hologramatic hamster.
Holly responded, "It's three doors down on the left, and sorry, I
can't. Seymour's in the shower. "
"What are we going to do?" wailed the tan furred hamster.
"Um, Just a moment now, I need to think." replied the hologramatic
hamster.
"Now, this is a perfect example of why I'm in charge. Holly, inform
Lt. Edwards to deploy a repelling force immediately, and tell Alota
I'm on my way to the Drive room to take over." ordered the dark
furred hamster as he started walking toward the exit.
"You can't give orders, I'm in charge here, I give the orders. And I
order you to stay put!" said the hologramatic hamster, stepping
infront of the Dark furred hamster.
"You try and stop me." remarked the dark furred hamster as he walked
through the hologramatic hamster.
"Oh, How rude!" exclaimed the tan furred hamster.
The hologramatic hamster spun around and swung at the Dark furred
hamstger with impotent fury, and then screamed "You realise this is
mutiny!"
"Your darn right. I never liked you *OR* the Captain. It's about time
someone with real command ability took charge of this lame duck ship.
And that's what *I'm* going to do!!!" Remarked the dark furred
hamster as he walked in to the lift.
"He's really going to mutiny..." exclaimed the tan furred hamster.
"Yes, It certainly does look like he intends to." replied the
Hologramatic hamster sullenly.
"Are you going to let him get away with that?" asked the tan furred
hamster.
"Well, what can I do about it? He just walked through me! Your the
one with the physical body. All I've got is a brain backup and a
bunch of useless photonic light..." shouted the hologramatic hamster.
"Emm, I guess that means I'm going to have to do something right?"
meeped the tan furred hamster.
"Correction. *We're* going to have to do something!" replied the
hologramatic hamster while momentarily trying to snap his paws, and
giving up, he continued "You go get a stunner from one of the
security lockers."
"Then What?"
"I'll have holly recreate me near him and distract him until you
catch up, and then you stun him."
"Good Idea!" replied the tan furred hamster as he darted out the
door, in search of a security locker.
"Right. Holly, Transfer me to whereever he's at now." order the
hologramatic White Wolf.
"Sure thing." Replied Holly.
Suddenly, the hologramatic hamster appeared in the docking bay,
alongside Captain Lister. A little way behind them was Kochanski
leading the human holly on a leash, and another dark furred hamster
who was grinning evilly as he directed Kryten to savagely rip apart a
Starbug.
Captain Lister Turned towards the hologramatic hamster and
remarked, "You look a little pale, Darken. Are you alright?"
The hologramatic hamster quickly slapped his paw over the 'H' on his
forehead, as he turned towards Captain Lister to respond, "ahh...
I've suddenly got a headache."
"Too bad. I think it would be fun for us to find out what our
duplicates are like." replied Captain Lister as he turned away to
glance at the prisoners that were being hussled into the starbug from
the Red Dwarf by the Evil Jay Chrysler.
"Umm... yeah, Excuse me while I go get an aspirin from Dr. Keto..."
replied the hologramatic hamster quickly as he tore off at a run.
"Dr. Keto?!? Why would..." started Captain Lister realising something
was amiss, and then finished, "Kryten, kill that hamster!"
Kryten immediately whirled, and shot his air cannon at Darken
standing next to him.
Darken screamed while leaping out of the way, "He doesn't mean me you
idiot! He means the one that's getting away... Oh, never mind. I'll
get him. You just help Jay with the prisoners."
"Uh oh!" yelped the Hologramatic hamster, as Darken suddenly bolted
after him.
The two hamsters tore down the hallways, past several blue dwarf
crewmembers, until a tan furred hamster jumped out between them and
waved two paddles of an antique Cardiac Defibulator towards Darken.
"What do you think your doing?" demanded Darken.
"I'm going to *Shock* you." replied the tan furred hamster rather
unmenancingly.
"He can see that, Mr. Obivious! But I think he wants to know how you
intend to do with those antiques..." Called the puffing hologramatic
hamster from over the Tan hamsters shoulder.
"It was the best I could do in a clinch...", started the tan hamster
just as Darken rushed him. The tan hamster reacted without thinking
and depressed the defibulators discharge switch.
There was a loud crackling, and smoke rose from Darken's Fur where
the paddles had touched him, he stood there for a moment looking
surprised, and then fell to the floor.
"Well, what do you know? It worked!" Muttered the hologramatic
hamster.
The tan hamster looked at the unit, and he dropped it while
saying, "Well that's the last of those batteries. Now what?"
"Well, call security and have them pick him up." replied the
hologramatic hamster.
"Right." said the tan hamster as he went over to the com unit, and
called security to inform them where to pick up Darken.
"Ok, That's done, now what?" asked the tan hamster.
"You go help stop the invasion of the ship, I'll have Holly transport
me into the Drive room and try to stop the other White Wolf from
taking command of the Blue Dwarf." remarked the hologramatic hamster.
"Ok, Good luck. Your going to need it." said the tan hamster as he
darted off.
"yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." Muttered the hologramatic
hamster, "Holly?"
"yes, oh, multitudinous one?" replied Holly as his disembodied head
appeared on a wall monitor.
"Put me in the drive room." ordered the hologramatic hamster.
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go to someplace more enjoyable?
Like say, the ladies locker room of the Gym?" asked Holly.
"HOLLY! just put me in the drive room!" yelled the hologramatic
hamster.
"Oh alright mister boring..."
The hologramatic hamster appeared in the drive room between Ashley &
Alota. Ashley glanced at him, and asked, "When did you die,
commander?"
Alota spun around, and blurted, "Wha?"
"Huh? Oh, this. Um, it's a Little hard to explain right now, but I'm
not dead, I'm just split into good & evil parts, and you've got to
stop the evil part that's coming here from taking over the drive
room."
The dark furred hamster entered the Drive room, and seeing the
hologramatic hamster, he ordered, "Ms. Viagra, you are not to listen
to that illegal hologram. You are only to take orders from me. And my
first order is that you flood the docking bay with cyanide gas to put
a stop the boarders."
Ashley blurted, "but, wouldn't that kill some of our people that are
in there too?"
"Well, tough cookies for them. We have to protect the ship!" muttered
the dark furred hamster, "Are you going to carry out my orders Ms.
Viagra?"
<over to you Alota!>