WANTED good title, competetive rates of pay apply within

Damn...."
"what the smeg happened?.."
"why the smeg is it so dark...wait....eyelids.."
Jay opened his eyes and his vision slowly came back into focus. As
the shapes in the room became clearer he realised that he wasnt in
the same place he was in last time he looked, and that his sister was
treating a wound on his arm.
"Where are we?"
"Red Dwarf, we were brought here by....ourselves"
"Oh right....perfectly normal stuff then"
Jay got to his feet and looked around, cold metal walls greeted him
on every turn, except one where there was a forcefield. On the other
side he noticed several implements of torture, iron maidens, a rack,
cocktail umbrellas and a 9 volt battery which carried a label
saying 'tongue zapper'.
Jay shuddered at the implications of the cocktail umbrella, Vanessa
didnt quite understand why, Jay explained..(too graphic for a family
group)..
"quite frankly sis," Jay said to his younger sibling "I dont much
fancy being on the recieving end of any of that, we gotta get outta
here"
<ok...so i gotta figure a way out....and i really cant do that at the
moment!>