Psych Security

Who: Cerebrum's Men, Appendix, Dr Keto
Where: Psychiatric Office
When: ...psychiatric office (it's been a long day)
================================
<<SNIP>>
Just then, two big men wearing suits with suspicious bulges
underneath them that would appear to just about everybody as guns
walked in through the door carrying tool kits and dragging a large
door with them. They then started fitting it where the old door used
to be. As Dr Keto watched, he saw the words, 'Quarantine Room'
written on it.
<<END SNIP>>
Keto stood outside the psychiatry office for a few minutes,
watching the two Smiths manoeuvring the door into position. Or
rather, trying to manoeuvre the door into position - Quarantine
Doors, of course, not being manufactured to easily cover a great hole
in the wall.
After a few more minutes of watching the not cerebrally-endowed
hulks trying various methods of getting the door into position, Keto
stepped forwards.
"Excuse me," he said.
The Smiths spun round, hands instinctively reaching for their
concealed guns.
"Who's there?" demanded one of them, peering around and trying to
locate the source of the voice. Keto sighed and wondered just how
long that damned ointment was going to last.
"This is...door management," he said at last. There was a moment
of silence.
"Door management?" asked one of the Smiths at last, possibly with a
faint trace of guilt in his voice.
"Yes, I'm here to tell you you're doing that all wrong," announced
Keto, "Look, you."
"Who me?"
"Not you, the other one."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Change your grip, put your left hand in the top corner
of that door."
The Smith moved his grip slightly.
"Now you, the other one, put your right hand in your top corner."
The second Smith did as he was bidden.
"Now, you take one step forward," said Keto. As he had expected,
both Smiths did so, and as they did he slipped behind them and into
the psych office.
"Now switch hands," he commanded, smiling invisibly.
There was an excessively loud crash and a couple of groans.
"And then try to gather up a few IQ points once you regain
consciousness," said Keto, looking down at the big Quarantine Room
door on top of the Smiths.
[That was cruel.]
"That was fun..." began Keto, but was stopped by a high-pitched
whine. He looked up.
"What...is...that?" he asked, staring at the device on the top of
the ceiling.
[Doctor Cerebrum hasn't exactly informed me. I believe it is a
weapon of some kind. I would advise you not to move.]
"Pah. It can't see me," snapped Keto, and took one invisible step
forwards.
There was a fizz and a yelp as something shot the floor just next
to Keto's foot.
[I believe it has certain sensors other than that of visible-
spectrum light.]
"Now you tell me."
[And again, I advise you not to move.]
Keto sighed again and froze, wondering when Cerebrum would return,
whether the ointment would have worn off by then, whether the Smiths
would be conscious when it did and, biggest of all, whether he'd
still be alive to find out.
[Perhaps I should tell Doctor Cerebrum you're waiting to see him?]
"That...would be a great help," muttered Keto through gritted
teeth, trying not to move an inch and wondering if security knew
about this. Then he decided that if they did they probably wouldn't
mind, and in fact might view it as good thinking on Cerebrum's part.
Damn.
===========
OOC: And I thought burglar alarms were effective...