A quick lesson in the new firearms gone terribly wrong

Who : Phil and Zodar
When : Just after the staff meeting
Where : Just outside the bridge/breifing room
 
--Snip--
 
 As everyone else went off to take care of the Enarim's on the ship, Phil took Zodar to one side.
 
"Right you use the pistols like this:
 
1 - Point it a something
2 - Press the "LOCK" button.
3 - Press fire.
 
If the target has moved, the the projectile will foloow it. Even, I've been told, underwater."
 
"Just one question Phil," Asked Zodar as he handeled the weapon.
 
"Yep?"
 
"What's this button do?"
 
"What button?" asked Phil, a bit perplexed?
 
"This one, " he said pointing to one marked "ZOING"
 
"I have no idea. Just remember that my mad PC desinged it so it could be anything from turning the target blue, to causing the gun to overload and vaporise you."
 
--End Snip--
 
Only one way to find out. Said Zodar's mind as he reached for the button...
The little screen came to life.
 
>> Automated target acquisition systems activated. <<
 
"Oh crap." Said Zodar.
 
>> Searching for closest target <<
 
"But that would be me!" Yelled Zodar.
 
>> Ok then, the closest target that is not you. <<
 
"That's better." Zodar paused. "BUT THAT WOULD BE PHIL!"
 
>> Oh well. <<
 
"Phil, RUN!"
 
Phil realised the situation and almost soiled his underwear, but managed to hide behind the nearest wall.
 
"Just DON'T FIRE IT!" Phil shouted around the corner, sweat building on his brow.
 
"I'm not! I'm not! How do I unlock it?!" Zodar panicked
 
"How am I supposed to know?!" Phil yelled with tension building in his voice.
 
"You made it..." Zodar yelled back
 
"Saddam did, not me!" Explained Phil.
 
"Well, that helps us out heaps. What if I press the button again?" Zodar said examining the gun.
 
"Do anything you want, just don't fire it! DON'T FIRE IT!" Phil yelled, tears rolling down his cheeks.
 
"Would you stay calm?! I'm not firing it." Zodar turned to face the opposite direction. "Now it won't hit you if I do fire it."
 
"Actually it would, what do you think the lock feature does and because you are now directly in between the gun and me, you'd be hit too." Phil yelled, now crying freely.
 
Zodar bolted back to face Phil's direction.
 
"Well, here it goes..." Zodar said as he slowly pressed the button, his eyes almost closed, half expecting the gun to go off.
 
>> Automated target acquisition systems deactivated. <<
 
>> Target lost. <<
 
>> Have a nice day. <<
 
"Well, now we know what that button does..." Shrugged Zodar.
 
Phil casually walked over to Zodar and put his hand on his shoulder.
 
"Let's never speak of this moment ever again..." Said Phil, composing himself.
 
"Agreed." Said Zodar.