Genetic Experiments and Newts

<<Well Keto, dare you harm a sleeping genetic freak?...>>
Well duh!
IC
===
Who: Keto, Phil, Coffey, Tree, Creatures of Phil's Sod It
Where: The Medibay
When: Just After Tara Left
"So, we have a hologram who has mysteriously turned into a human
being, or something like one - this new creature has a triple-helix
DNA structure with two new base pairs..."
Keto nodded as he examined Phil's genetic structure further,
completely forgetting about and ignoring DJ as she groggily awoke and
sat up.
"Now then," said Keto, reaching into the cupboard and pulling out a
vial of ointment.
"What are you going to do with that?" called Coffey from the corner
of the medibay, where the one-armed man (well, the other one was
being treated) was standing.
"Research," replied Keto absently, and upended the vial over Phil's
recumbent form.
The Tree, realising what was in the vial, made a panicked rustle
and leapt behind a desk. Keto took a couple of large steps backwards
and counted under his breath.
"1...2...3..."
There was a hiss, and a cloud of steam rose off Phil. Other than
that, nothing happened. Keto frowned as the steam dissipated.
"That's IT!?" he wondered aloud, "That should have turned him into
a newt!"
"A NEWT?!" exclaimed Coffey. Keto shrugged.
"He would have recovered. Probably. But for it to do
nothing...this requires more research..."
And so, with the ship he was in sinking, and more injured personnel
entering the medibay all the time, Dr Charles Keto began to try to
turn a newly-discovered being into a newt.
Business as usual.
======
OOC: Damn, I should be able to make an OOC comment here, but I can't
think of one! Uh...(panic)...uh, anyone want to continue? DJ, feel
like smashing Keto over the head with a chair or the Tree or
something? I need a laugh. :)