This Is A Very Delicate *AACHOO!* Operation...

WHO: Vanessa, Keto, Sirus, Coffey and Dirk
WHERE: Medibay
WHEN: A Quarter Past Insane and Five To Madness
> "It's simple. It's like taking the motor out of a car and
> replacing it with a lot of organs. Just follow the instructions."
> Dirk handed the doctor a book larger than an unabridged
> dictionary. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear the Duke's props
> turning."
Keto watched Dirk walk hurriedly out of the medibay and head off
down the corridor. Then he glanced back at the book, the weight of
which was putting a fair amount of strain on his arms.
"Right..." he said, slowly. Vanessa and Coffey looked at him, then
at Sirus*. The android was lying on the medibed, eyes closed, having
been turned off for the 'operation'.
"Right," repeated Keto, placing the book on a nearby wheel-cart
(which almost buckled under the weight) and cracking his
knuckles, "I'm a doctor, how difficult can bio-engineering be?"
He opened the book.
"Congratulations on choosing the..." he began, then muttered
something and flicked over a clump of pages.
"Troubleshooting LXIV: Headaches, Blackouts and Possible Psychotic
Episodes," he read aloud, "Often a sign of internal androidal
conflicts between multiple systems that can only be resolved by a
complete removal from the androidal shell and insertion into a pure-
strain human matrix..."
"Basically, make him human," sighed Vanessa, "It's not difficult."
"You done that coffee yet?" growled Keto, before continuing, "We
would like to warn you that performing this operation without due
supervision by a licensed android engineer and a member of our legal
team will result in you voiding your warranty."
"Hurry up!" said Coffee and Vanessa simultaneously. Keto coughed.
"Firstly, locate and activate the skull release catch upon your
android system," he said, "This catch can be located in a variety of
places, but the second most common location is behind the right ear."
As Keto reached for Sirus' right ear, Coffee asked, "What's the
most common location?"
"Thankfully we don't need to go into that," replied Keto, flicking
the little switch behind Sirus' ear. The top of the android's head
rotated slowly, extending outwards, before finally flipping back and
revealing a bewildering array of electronics.
"Right then," announced Keto, trying vainly to crack his knuckles
again, "Let's get to work..."
----------------------------
Several Tired Hours Later...
----------------------------
"Slot B! I said slot *B*! That's slot B*6*! Can't you read!?"
"It's not labelled!" snapped back Vanessa, removing her hands from
the inside of the newly-acquired 'human shell' - the ship's morgue
had been rather alarmed when Coffee had arrived and quickly asked to
be given a recently-dead body in order to save the life of a
crewmember, but they'd given it up readily enough.
"Look, let me do it!" snapped Keto, waving Vanessa back and
reaching into the abdominal cavity, "Read me what the book says
again."
"Place Organ Z12 into slot B," read Vanessa, trying not to get
blood on the book, "Then reroute arteriole 4C2 through Organ Y3 and
attach to Organ Z12."
"Done," sighed Keto after a few moment. Vanessa nodded, then bit
her lip.
"What is it?" asked Keto, not looking up.
"Uhh...note: do NOT do this if your shell has only one heart and/or
is quadrapedal..."
Keto hung his head.
"Okay, going back," he said...
---------------------------
Several More Hours Later...
---------------------------
"Are we SURE that's everything?" asked Keto. Vanessa and Coffee
nodded.
"Very well. Nurse Chrysler, stitch up the abdominal cavity, nurse
coffee, if you could replace the skull bone, and I'll fetch the
defibrillators..."
After the two nurses had stitched up the new body of Sirus, Keto
placed the paddles on the post-android's chest.
"Clear, if you feel you have to," he said, and activated the
paddles.
Sirus' body leapt a clear three feet in the air and flipped right
off the medibed. Keto tutted.
"Must remember that next time," he murmured, "Secure the body
first..."
There was a groan from down at ground level.
"I think he's alive..." said Coffee. Keto smiled evilly.
"It's alive, ALIVE! BWAHAAHAA!" he cackled.
"Of course he's alive, that was the whole point," interjected
Vanessa. Keto glared.
"Let me have my fun," he said.
=====
OOC: Well, Sirus, you're alive and presumably fairly well...albeit
with stitches running up your chest and around your skull. We are
assured by The Book, however, that these will fade in time and will
probably be reabsorbed into the body over time. ;) Any recurring
problems, don't hesitate to return to the medibay (if you dare...)
*Eep, sorry, just re-checked your bio and you're right, humanoid,
sorry! :) Just read the thing about chrome and my eyes flickered
over the rest...