A meeting with the captain (cont)

Patric Cerebrum + Captain Niples
Storage bay 25
"I'm Dr Patrick Cerebrum, your new chief psychiatrist. I transfered
over recently from the JMC Yellow Giant at the request of its
Captain. I've been wanting to speak with you for a while concerning
some important matters. I had set up an appointment with you, but I
guess Holly didn't bother telling you about it. Anyway, what I want
to discuss is the psychiatric department's budget, or rather, its
lack of one. Do you know that we don't get a single red pennycent in
funding? Also, Dr Keto gets really shouty when I try to buy equipment
using the medi-bay's budget. So I need you to set up a budget,
preferably a large one, so that I might be able to treat all the
insane people on this ship, also known as the crew."
"Basically you have come to me for money?" asked Niples, handing the
psychiatrist a hammer. "Do you know how many people come to me wanting money
Mr Cerebrum? Promenade directors wanting business loans from ships funds,
trainees wanting a student loan, security personnel wanting replacement guns
because they were mugged by children, medical staff wanting more buckets
because a pink tree planted itself in the last one. The Blue Dwarf does not
get given much money, only equipment and resources given from the Jupiter
Mining corporation. The only other income comes from rental of public
service stores on the Promenade, and that is split between the companies,
the wages and we see very little of it."
Seymour knocked his croquet ball through the first hoop, Cerebrum looked on.
"But Captain, I am not asking for much. Only enough to perform my job. To be
honest, there are a lot of people on this ship who would benefit from
councilling..."
"Meaning what exactly?" Seymour took another shot and came short of the
hoop.
"Meaning there are a lot of crazy people onboard. " Cerebrum took his shot
and knocked Seymours ball out of the way.
"Nice shot." Admitted the Captain. "But how do you know everyone will want
councilling? I can imagine that a lot of people, especially from the
security department would find it difficult talking about 'feelings'. I can
imagine Harris would be worried that you would turn him into a 'fag'."
"With a better fund I might be able to reach these people, I might need more
money for advertising too."
"Alright Mr. Cerebrum. I'll cut you a deal. I'm not convinced you can make
that much of a difference on this ship, personally- I think you have a big
challenge ahead. I will grant you a basic budget for 6 months that will just
be enough for a computer, a relaxing chair and the chance to scrub up a nice
little office. And if after these 6 months I can see significant progress
then I will give you double the amount, bringing you up to the same as the
medical Departments budget. That should make both you and Dr. Keto happy."
"And what if you can't see an improvement?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Then you will recieve nothing from the JMC whatsoever. You will have to go
into business on your own and rent a place off the Promenade to hold your
sessions, making whatever money you can from psychiatry and probably working
in MacDonalds part time too."
"But that isn't fair!" I was transferred here as crew, not as a civillian
going into private practice!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Cerebrum, but I am trying to be reasonable. Most Captains in
the JMC do not have a need at all for shrinks, they think they are a
complete waste of time. I am going to give you a chance, if you do not want
to take it then I'm sure the security department wouldn't say no to a new
set of stun guns, or the medical department would like the money to be put
towards a new cure for something."
"Okay okay, I'll make the deal. I'll show you, I'll show you I can be the
best damn psychiatrist on the ship!"
Cerebrum stormed off.
"The only psychiatrist on the ship too." said a voice. Niples turned around
to see that Holly had appeared on the storage bay's computer inventory
terminal.
"How long have you been there Holly?"
"Just a few moments. Don't you think you were a bit hard on him?"
"No, not really. I wanted him to do his best, and I know that of you give
someone whet they want first time they get a little lazy, and often want
more. This way he has to work for it." Niples grinned, it wasn't an evil
grin, or a happy grin. Just a grin that told him that he knew he'd done
something right.
<<I hope you liked this StarTrek-esque post which shows that the captain is
always right mwuhahaha! Please stop me before I turn into Picard and start
talking about morales!>>
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