White wolf biography

Sorry, I just realised I hadn't sent you all Whitewolf's biography.
Here it is:
 
***************************
 
Name:-White WolfSex:-Presumed Male. (Anyone care to volunteer to pick up his tail and find out?)Age:-Haven't the faintest idea, was a mere 27 years old before.Lifeform-Well... He *was* Human, but now is some sort of 'Space Hamster'.Job:-Originally only a Comm Officer, But has taken up being a part time securityofficer, and handy man (engineer?) because he's now got alot more time onhis hands(paws?).Rank:-Unknown (Lt. Commander?)Physical description:-About 6'1", weighing 280 pounds. Looks like a huge *human sized* hamsterwith tan fur and various darker brown colored patchs, with slightly glowingred eyes. Usually wearing a baseball cap with a wolf design on his head, andsome sort of machine gun weapon with a bandoleer hanging on his back. Oftenseen darting about on all fours from time to time, but usually is standingupright on his hind legs looking like he's going to leap towards the ceilingat a moments notice.History:-White Wolf was born into a human family who prided thier American Indianheritage, hence he was named in the tradition of his forefathers. His fatherwas a rough & tumble fighting military man, while his mother was a smart,smooth corporate interpreter and deal negotiator. While his father instilledin him the ways of being a tough fighting man, his mother taught him to bein touch with his spiritual side. With his parents strange duality in hisupbringing he learned how to come to speaking terms with anybody, and howbeat the living cr*p of them whenever that didn't work.Since his father always advocated that being in the military was the bestthing that ever happened to him, and his mother always taught him to try touse non-violent options first, White Wolf decided to that the one thing thatwould make his parents proud would be to enter the JMC on his 21st birthdayand start a career in being a communications officer.In general, White Wolf's career in the JMC was pretty ordinary, he hadserved on each assignment with distinction.  That is, until he was posted tothe Alpha Beta Far Base. Where White Wolf and his rowdy security officerfriends went looking to break up the monotony of being on such a far awaybase, usually went on a extreme dares while on various benders. While on oneof those drunken benders, White Wolf and his friends were in engineersexperimentation lab trying out various drinks in a blender thingy for an*absolutely* fantastic buzz. When one of White Wolf's friends dared him toput the Engineers pet hamster into the engines accelerator chamber for alaugh. White Wolf being extremely drunk at the time, thought it was a greatidea, and while grabbing the engineers pet hamster, walked (fell is morelike it) into the accelerator. Then something *extraordinary* happened. Inbrilliant flash, White Wolf and the little pet hamster vanished. Theextremely alarmed friends urgently called the engineer to inform him thatthey lost his pet hamster... and somehow misplaced White Wolf in theprocess.The engineer, who was more worried about his recent black hole inducedlongevity experimentation was going to go to waste, immediately dismantledthe accelerator chamber and went to work setting up his apparatus at nearbyblack hole research facility. As the engineer put it "I put the darned thingon reverse" and out popped White Wolf, now a 6' 1" hamster with a reallyunbelievable hangover. (Ever since then, White Wolf has had anunderstandable aversion to drinking any form of alcohol.) The engineer,feeling sorry for the poor bloke, took it upon himself to help rehabilitateWhite Wolf. He taught White Wolf how to use his paws claws and all, to workwith things so he could make and repair the various items he would need inhis new 'hamsterish' life.Being a 6' 1" hamster, lead to many changes in White Wolf's life. The urgeto pouch things in his cheeks, to move about on all fours very quickly, (hewas told it was bad manners not to use two legs), to make his bed out ofwood shavings, relishing 'jogging in place' on a treadmill, and when hefound he could leap onto things five times his height he found it nearlyimpossible to curb his urge to leap onto such high things in the instant hesaw them (since it usually scared alot of people), these were all thingsWhite Wolf could deal with.But there were many other strange things the Engineer often attributed tohis being of 'hamster genetics', that White Wolf often wasn't sure if theengineer was telling him the complete truth. Like for one, how he onlyneeded 3 hours of sleep. For another, he didn't feel comfortable being idlefor very long. (The plus side of this was it lead him to taking up someduties on the other two work shifts.)  And another was his inability tosatisfy his appetite at all. He would eat (or gnaw on) everything in sight,But he would never gain any weight! (By all rights, he should have been onefat hamster!) But the engineer would always explain, "It's just your speededup metabolism, don't worry about it.".Finally, when it became apparent to White Wolf he wasn't aging at all -Especially when he found out a hamster was only supposed to live five years,and he had been with the engineer for nearly ten, He confronted theengineer. The Engineer said, "Well, Umm, since you were, Ahh.. um..conceived... No, spawned... hmmm, No, Well you were *whatevered* at theevent horizon of a Black Hole, so your probably 'Atemporal'."  "You mean,I'm not effected by time in the same fashion as you, Mom & Dad?" "Ah huh.Somehow your 'outside of time' as it were. So I suspect you'll have a mostperplexing life." "This does not bode well..."Notes on his personality from his previous commander:-Is a trustworthy "problem solver" with a docile temperament, and isgenerally easy to get along with. But a history of biting & 'pouching'incidents is noted while being handled roughly or picked up. Also, veryrarely, White Wolf is prone to squabbles to establish an order of dominance,but these often sound much worse than they actually are and seldom result ininjury to White Wolf. Unfortunately, the same can not always be said for hisopponents. Some individuals report severe mental problems after beingsubjected to being 'pouched' by White Wolf. Since some of the White Wolf'scommunication methods are considered rather unorthodox, extreme caution isadvised for all personnel during tense situations.A fascination with using duct tape in his repair activities seems to be thesingle major deviation from the "normal" behavior that one would expect froma 'overgrown hamster'. Keep him busy, and you'll be fine.Notes from the previous commander on his special career achievements:-After becoming a 'Space Hamster', White Wolf has shown due diligence inapplying his new found spare time to learn many new talents, such as, usingduct tape to patch our warbots back together, a wonderful spot applicationof super glue to staunch the bleeding of our hemophilic petty officersfrequent paper cut wounds, and most remarkably on 'how to communicate inmorse code' via machine gun fire!It also should be noted that many of the landing party members while on aaway mission to alpha zeta four had believed that White Wolf wassuccessfully using this particular talent to get their non-violent messageacross to a TK 440 troop killer before the overzealous ships security chiefblew it up while trying to add his own exclamation point to White Wolf'scommunicated sentence. Though the incident was regrettable, and I'm gladnone of landing party had to endure the TK 440's forthcoming response.The Previous Commanders Notes on White Wolf's Interests:-Due to his 'speeded up metabolism', he has taken up a variety of newinterests from classical music to the study of wolves.  A good deal of histime is spent on his 'new' hobby of constantly darting about exploring, andhoarding anything he can his paws on for later examination, gnawing on, orjust plain eating. Though a preference for rolls of duct tape will be notedin his hoarding activities.Some noted Common/Favorite sayings:-"Me? A hyper, overgrown Hamster? Nah... I'm just a Space Hamster. So, what'syour problem?""A little duct tape will fix that up in a jiffy.""This does not bode well..."
==================================Lt. David "Onion" BallAssistant Helm officer/ Pilot  USS Endeavour-ACommander Seymour Niples  JMC Blue DwarfWWW.Geocities.com/BlueDwarf2000Are you being paid for being online? I am! http://www.alladvantage.com/home.asp?refid=IJU209==================================

< Prev : Steev....from bad to...well....odd Next > : Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Egroups changeover