Lt. Jason Smegg: "This has absolutely nothing to do with the plot"
OOC: Well now I know what OOC means. Sorry about not posting in a while;
guess that's why I'm not involved in this current quest :-) and so I'm
posting about something that doesn't further the plot one bit. But then,
everything I tend to post either contributes nothing except cheap laughs
or has nothing to do with the existing plot but instead starts a new one!
----------------------
Blue Dwarf - human waste storage facility
Time: whenever this away mission to Ffion is going on
The stench was noticeable, even through the supposedly insulated
benda-tanium storage bags. Why this place, Lt. Smegg thought, was worth
defending, was infathomable. But still he led the engineering team
installing the last of the 360 Gaussian shotgun turrets necessary to form
a full point-defense grid around the oddly symmetric starship. That was
one of the benefits of working on a mining ship bigger than most
spacedocks, though - you could practically do a full refit in deep space;
all you needed was a mineral-rich planet and the onboard facilities could
manufacture enough spare parts to last a lifetime.
He found the Space Corps manual from the year 5300 lying on the floor. It
was real, after all. He flipped to the page about the year 4800 and the
proof of Mankind's solitude. It turned out that there were aliens after
all but that the entry was just the politically correct way of saying the
last of them were exterminated in what would be called the Xenocide Wars.
Then suddenly an unfamiliar voice spoke: "Stop!"
Smegg and his engineering team whirled around from their work to face an
older middle-aged man, who had spoken, a young woman in her 20s, and a
blue London police callbox that had mysteriously appeared behind them.
The woman was holding her nose.
Before anyone could react, the strange man spoke again, directing his
attention to the chief engineer: "You are about to commit a grave
mistake, young man! The freemic flux modulator is misconfigured, and
unless you immediately dismantle all of these weapons you will cause the
destruction of the entire universe!"
The engineers looked at each other in bewilderment. Then Smegg responded:
"You don't know what you're talking about, old coot, so bug off and just
leave us alone!" Freemic flux modulators! Nobody used those anymore! The
Space Corps would only rely on 100% genuine ANSI-certified Kaluza-space
anticollineators.
At the same time, the young woman looked at her companion with a cold
glare.
"Fine," the old man said, "if you decide to be foolish and destroy
trillions of lives, that is on your conscience." And with that, the
strangers walked into the police box, which then disappeared with a
high-pitched whine.
But just in case, Smegg ordered everyone to double-check all the turrets
again.
---------------------------------
The Tardis
Spatio-temporal coordinates irrelevant/undefined
"Doctor!" the young woman protested. "That was cruel of you!"
"To the contrary, Sara," the Doctor replied. "'Twas just a bit of
harmless fun."
"But you could have --" Sara pleaded.
"Never mind what could have happened," the Doctor countered. "A time lord
needs a bit of fun every once in a while. Me, I like playing with
people's minds."
------------------------------
Dimension X
Time: Six Pi Radiants plus or minus the Square Root of -12
Krang saw the wave passing through the blue-red sky through his
cybernetic eyes and instantly knew its danger. He activated the arm
communicator in his mekkanoid body and called his boss.
"Lord Master Shredder! I have an emergency to report!"
"What is it this time?!" The face of a man with a spiked metallic mask
appeared on Krang's communicator. "I'm busy enough directing our mutant
troops to conquer the world!"
"It is an emergency! There is a wave in the sky of Dimension X, and it
will destroy this dimension in approximately 3 hours!"
"What?!" Shredder shouted. "I will immediately call an emergency meeting
of the Villains Interdimensional League of Evil to deal with this
menace!"
"Oh no!" said Krang, "not them! I hate dealing with Robotnik and WIley,
remember the incident with Drill Man, Grounder, and that big round
underground tank thingy we have that sort of looks like the Death Star
only I can't seem to remember what it's called?"
--------------------------
V.I.L.E. Headquarters
Location: That's a secret
Time: That's a secret too!
"I understand we have a problem," said Chairwoman Carmen Sandiego.
"Yes!" shouted Shredder, banging his fist on the table. "There is a
freemic flux wave threatening to destroy Dimension X, the source of all
my mutant soldiers, in 2 1/2 hours!"
"So vhy do ve all have to be here?" complained Boris Badenov. "I need to
be keeling moose end sqvirrel."
"It's your duty," said Lex Luthor. "You're a bad guy. Even if you're just
a small-time crook." He said this with a sneer.
"Hey!" protested the Frito Bandito. "You call him small-time crook, that
insult to me as well."
"All right calm down everybody," said Carmen Sandiego. "We need to come
up with a plan."
"I have an idea," said Dr. Wily with his usual sinister grin. "It won't
save Dimension X, but we can get revenge by sending a probe with the
Maverick Virus to the source of this wave. Then all the robots of our
attackers will be overcome with a desire to destroy their owners!"
"But what if they don't have any robots?" Khan Noonien Singh pointed out.
"We can use the genesis torpedo to turn their planets into new organic
life forms, destroying everything on them in the process!"
"That's no fun," complained the Joker. "Let's plant immobilizing goo
bombs in the enemy capital and bring politics to a literal standstill!"
The Joker cackled at his own idea.
"That won't help!" shouted Shredder. "That will only make the enemy
government more efficient! And we still need to save Dimension X!"
-------------------
Will the scutters on Blue Dwarf turn maverick and kill crew members left
and right
Will the Earth be turned into a writhing alien landscape?
Will President William J. Clinton XVII be stuck in something other than
his own words?
Will the bad guys even be able to agree on a plan of attack, if they can
find our dimension in the first place?
Find out on the continuing adventures of...
BLUE DWARF
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Your scientists have completed their research in --
*****KABLOOEY*****
Okay, maybe they aren't quite done yet...
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