Niples+Cmdr Jason Smegg "Offers"

Blue Dwarf
VR Simulator room
30th June 2101
 
Chief Engineer Jason Smegg is all wired up to the Virtual Reality machine, complete with headset.
"Die Robotnik die!" he shouted to no-one in particular. He was of course playing his favourite game of all time. Sonic the Hedgehog. This was one of the newer games, the sequals went into the hundreds.
 
A small electric shock from Holly brough him out of the game.
"Hey what did you do that for?" he grumbled.
"You have a message." said Holly.
 
Pause.
 
"Well what is it?" asked Smegg.
"What?"
"The message, what is the message?"
"Oh sorry, I was miles away." said Holly in his deadpan voice. "It's quite long you might want to read it yourself."
"Can you give me the jist of it?" urged the chief engineer.
"Its very long, that would mean I'd have to read it first...."
"Just tell me then!" said Smegg, getting impatient with the Blue Dwarf's corrupted computer intelligence. Any small imbalence in data files and the whole personality subroutines go crazy. Smegg promised to fix Holly some day.
 
"Tge message says 'Dear Mr. Smegg ..blah blah... We have a place available of the JMC Ship 'Pink Dwarf' we would be happy for you to fill the position of chief engineer...blah blah.... Yours sincerely Captain Fox.
 
"Why would I want to transfer to the Pink Dwarf? What do they take me for? A pansy?"
"They couldn't afford anyone with decent experience so they chose you." said Holly, his eyes flickering over the virtual message as it appeared in front of him on the computer screen.
"Is they pay good?"
"The same as here."
"So what reason is there for me to go?" The chief engineer asked.
"The ship is entirely crewed by fit females aged between 18 and 29...." Holly said.
 
"I'll pack my bags." Said Smegg with a big smile on his face. 
 
***Captain Niples' office***
Smegg+ Niples
A few hours later (after WW had left)
 
Smegg handed over his transfer papers. "I'm shipping out Captain. Its been really nice serving with you but I'm transferring to another ship. I've heard its got some hot tott... I mean erm.. hot engines that are ready for my expert fondling..I erm mean handling."
 
Niples lifted an eyebrow and folded his arms as he looked up at Smegg.
"You are aware that the Pink Dwarf is fully occupied by women?"
Smegg tried to sound shocked. "Oh really? I didn't know that!"
"I just thought you should be aware."
"Yes sir, well that didn't make any difference, I would have been going anyway."
Smegg wiped the sweat from his brow.
 
"We'll be meeting with the JMC Pink Dwarf in 24 hours. I trust you'll be ready by then."
"Oh yes sir!"
Now all smegg needed to do was pack his fake tan and put some rolled up socks down his trousers.
 
Smegg left the office and left Niples thinking about who he should get to replace Smegg as Chief Engineer. The other engineers Dren Walker and Chris Zodar were truthfully a bit lazy, so he invited the new girl Katy Roskev for an interview.
He had met Roskev before, it had been an embarassing moment when he had misplaced a few of his garments. He hoped that wouldn't happen again, as he wanted to have to upmost respect from his crew. He sipped some mineral water and waited for Roskev to arrive.
 
When she did, she sat in his office and awaited the questions he was going to ask.
"So... Do you feel you have what it takes to be a chief engineer?" Niples asked her.
 
(Please continue Katy.)
 
 
==================================Lt. Cmdr David "Onion" BallAssistant Helm officer/ Pilot  USS Endeavour-ACaptain Seymour Niples  JMC Blue DwarfWWW.Geocities.com/BlueDwarf2000==================================Dumb Quote: "The weather will be warm and bright during the night...Oh no, that can't be right..."-Carolyn, Radio 1 newsbeat==================================