Passing Judgement
"Hurry up, I want to get this over with!" growled Keto as the
others, in their "costumes", gathered in the central room. A slow
smile passed over Keto's face as he wondered just how humiliating he
could b...
And then he remembered the food budget.
"Oh smeg..." he murmured as he realised that really, they had to do
quite well in order to have enough food so survive comfortably.
Otherwise, they might have to stoop to letting Chrysler cook again.
"Ehh...um, right! Everyone line up!" announced Keto, playing for
time. It was no use, he decided, sighing. He'd have to give them a
fair judgement.
"Okay, first up we have...Alota, with her costume of a fairy!" he
said, "And, due to the amusement afforded by Chris Zodar trying it on
first*, I give her 8/10!"
"Next, we have Kayn, with his classic retro look of Neo, from the
film 'The Matrix'," he continued, "And having actually watched this
film at one point...a long, long time ago...I can say that it is a
fairly close copy. Therefore...7/10!"
Kayn looked pleased, despite the fact that the shades kept slipping
off his nose.
"Next, Katrina, dressed as a french maid. The costume, made from a
minimal amount of materials, is both true to life AND cost
effective. A score of 7/10 as well for Katrina!"
"We then have Owen, showing us just how an ancient genie should
truly have dressed. Despite the fact that he hasn't granted my wish
to be out of this hellhole yet, I give him 6/10!"
"Close behind Owen's genie, we have Chris Zodar's matador.
Unfortunately we are unable to give a demonstration of his skills, as
a giant raging bull was not one of the vital items provided for us in
this household. The costume alone, however, warrants a third 7/10!"
"Tara comes next, portraying neolithic woman in a very short
dress. The crimson hair, we are assured, will be washed out by
sometime next year. 8/10!"
"Next, we have Phil..."
Keto frowned. He glanced along the line once more.
"Next, we have Phil..." he repeated, squinting.
"Over here," said a voice from the sofa. Half-closing one eye,
Keto could just about make out a shadowy outline.
"Ah yes," he said, "Phil, showing us the Hollow Man. And, as that
little problem shows, a very good likeness. So good, in fact, that I
suppose I'd better award you 9/10. It's a perfect likeness."
"So why not 10/10?"
"Nobody gets 10/10 when I judge," replied Keto shortly. Nodding
once more, he clapped his hands together and said, "Well, that
appears to be everyone..."
"Hey!" shouted Jay, "What about me?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes. You," said Keto, waving one hand, "2/10."
"WHAT?!" screamed Jay, "Two!? I don't deserve TWO out of TEN!"
"Well, if you insist. 1/10," shrugged Keto. "This competition is
over."
"WHAT!?"
Unable to suppress a slight smile, Keto took his seat on the sofa.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry," said Keto absently, rising and moving to the part of the
sofa where Phil wasn't.
He'd made it. He'd successfully managed to irritate and humiliate
Chrysler, while still making sure that enough high marks were scored
to pass the challenge.
"Life is good," thought Keto, leaning back. Strapped down, Jay
fumed.
=====
*Yes, it was my mistake, but that doesn't mean it can't be
humorous! ;)
And those votes were OBVIOUSLY impartial. There was no bias in
Keto's marking whatsoever. Nuh-uh. Not at all.
Hehehe...
(P.S. Please nobody take offence at these. :) It's just that Keto
hates you all. ;) )