Stuck between Scutters, Hot Beverages and a Hard Place....ARG!!!!!

This ones probably long enough for an entire show of Blue Dwarf - Same time, but different place - namely an asteroid field
 
Asteroid Field
Asteroid 'Bestrom' (Yeah? Kayn named the place he's gonna die after himself!)
One day before Blue Dwarf's arrival at Ffion
 
Kayn cratered into the incoming asteroid after bouncing off the hull of Blue Dwarf. His airbag popped up five seconds after impact - Kayn saw that one coming three minutes after he regained conciousness. He took a damge report. Blue Dwarf had got out of the asteroid belt safely, but Starbug was in a mess - two engines were busted up badly and he was only just in hearing range of his home for two weeks 'THIS IS KAYN! SLOW DOWN!!!!' he called down the mic. He heard fights in the drive room after he sent this message. Apparently, people were arguing that Kayn had crashed into the asteroid and should retrieve thier five to one bet, whilst the bookie said he 'clearly' stated that Kayn had to die on impact with the asteroid - as they were bets on Kayn's life
 
'HEY! DID YOU HEAR ME?' screamed Kayn, causing too much static - which made people's eardrums explode - usually Kayn's voice on it's own would do that. Nipels told Kayn (after his ears started hearing again) that he would direct the ship after thier mission was completed - he could survive until then on the emergancy rations in Starbug. Kayn asked which mission - the Red Dwarf one or the Rescue. Nipels said five mniutes later that it would be the rescue mission to the Paradise planet. Kayn shouted down the mike that they probably wouldn't come back for him - they all hated him and no one liked him. Nipels pointed out three things after his brain recovered from Kayn's high pitched sobs 1)That they all hated him and he was awarded a commendation for awareness 2)That he had a point about not coming back through the asteroid belt and was awarded another point for awareness 3)They would have a discussion about it in five days about whether to collect him. Kayn spent seventeen minutes shouting before Blue moved out of range for communications.
 
Kayn shouted even more abuse. He decided he couldn't wait ten millenia before he could be rescued. He decided to actually USE the skills he had been taught in electronics class. He looked over the engines, dismantled them, reassembeled them...and found it wasn't them that was broken - it was the start plug that needed replacing and a section of the hull wouldn't make it out of the thin gravity of the asteroid. Kayn had about fifty consecutive cups of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, expressos, cappuchinos, irish coffee, hot bovril and oxo cubes in water trying to think of the way off of this rock. Then he saw a scutter walk up to him with his fifty-first cup of bovril. Kayn smiled evily....'Here skutty,skutty,skutty...'
 
The scutter dropped the bovril on Kayn's foot and raced down the hall of the wrecked starbug. Kayn scrambled after recovering from the seering hot bovril and grabbed the clawed arm robot at the neck and took a screwdriver out of his pocket and started to unscrew the scutter's neck. Then another three of them came in through the door, holding a fire hose...which was dripping tea... One of them turned on the switch and Kayn was washed back to the cab of the starbug by a tide of brown drink - and it was only just boiled.
 
Five hours later, Kayn was recovering from third degree tea burns, and his uniform was coated with herbal drink. He wouldn't have minded, but the tea wasn't done right. Scutters - he decided - couldn't make decent tea . He decided he would just have to rip another part of the starbug to peices in order to repair the damaged hull. He settled on the roof, and cut away at it with his can opener, before realising that that would do no good either. Five hours and three rolls of duct tape later, Kayn had sawn away at the temperory bed and repaired the hole. Now he needed a spark plug. He knew the scutters wouldn't donate parts to him...the only other thing that had a spark plug was the scutters old 'Self-Sufficient John Wayne Holographic Projector' - and that was being guarded by ten scutters armed with seering hot coffee/water pistols. The only places he was allowed to go was the engine room, the cab and his quarters. The rest was protected by armed scutters. He HAD to get that spark plug. Negotiation was out of the question - the scutters had turned thier hearing systems off, and were only communicating by hand signals. So the only other option was stealing it. He wrapped a bandanna arround his head and leaped into the airvents and scurried down. He was on the lookout for anything distinctively John Wayney... He was creeping through the vents silently, when he saw a scutter zip past. He stopped, and listened, and heard it....getting closer....behind him....and it was armed with Hot Chocolate.
 
Nursing his genitals in his quarters....Kayn decided he had nothing better to do than watch John Wayne movies with the scutters. He made his peace and watched the projector, until he felt 'something' touch the floor of his rock. He put on a spacesuit and stepped out of the downed ship... all he could see was light....and three figures...
 
REPORT FROM ENSIGN KAYN A. BESTROMMember of 'Blue Dwarf' - but NEEDS SOMEONE TO HELP ME!!!!!!
 
What happens next? What was the landing? Blue Dwarf here to rescue or Aliens? We shall find out...