Battle Plan
OOC- this is a joint post between Dren and myself
Things had changed. The current turn of events was forcing him to push his
timetable forward at least a month. Harris had almost gotten him killed on the
planet surface, left without White Wolf, and just pissed Dirk off. Now Phil was
on the verge of insanity and about to perform an illegal genetic experiment.
Dirk had to play his trump card.
The doors to his quarters wooshed open to reveal Dren sitting in the chair
watching Hudson Hawk on the TV. "You look happy," Dren said between munching on
stale popcorn and drinking a soda.
"Turns out Phil Febuggere wants to try and clone White Wolf. That's just purely
insane. There's no telling how dangerous that can be." He walked towards the
shower. Dirk felt dirty from his visit to the sciencebay.
"Hey," Dren called before Dirk entered the shower. "Can I borrow 50 bucks?"
"What happened to that other 50 that I loaned you just this morning?" Dren just
shrugged.
When Dirk came out of the shower, he noticed that Dren had fashioned some sort
of "diagram" on the floor using his cigarrett butts and popcorn. "This means
something," he procliamed.
"What the hell is that?"
"Well, since you've been gone, I've been put in the brig again for about a
month. I had time to think. Holly got me some of the books on the stasis
pods." Dren was on his feet, waving his arms around, and talking in a hushed
voice with his eyes bulging from his head. "And I've been thinking."
"Why am I not happy about that?"
Dren didn't seem to notice the insult. "I've been looking at the stasis
diagrams and the escape pod diagrams. I think that I can make a stasis pod from
and escape pod." He pointed at the cigarretts and popcorn, chuckleing insanely.
"I can put myself in it, eject, and go into stasis while the pod floats back to
Earth." He raised his hands in the air and laughed wildly. "Freedom!
Freeeeeedooooom!" As he laughed, almost into hyperventilation, Dren produced a
tape from his back pocket. "And I have this!"
"What the hell is that?" For the first time since he was a child, Dirk had
become a little scared. This was too smegged up.
"It's a little something the scutters gave me. From that night that our "dear
friend" Harris had one to many at Parrotts'. That's rigth. It's Harris in
drag, running around the Blue Dwarf singing "It's Raining Men!" While I'm safe
in the pod on my way back home, this will be playing on every monitor on the
ship. Everyone will see it. Everyone!" He started to laugh again. "Everyone!
Everyone!"
"Just one problem."
Dren stopped suddenly. He had planned everything down to the T. "What could be
the problem?"
Dirk pointed to the diagram. "This is the poorest diagram of a soup dispensing
machine that I've ever seen." Dren frowned. "For one thing, you have a popcorn
kernel where a bottle top should be. Move that butt over to the left a little
more...." Dirk continued to correct Dren's crude design. After a few minutes,
Dirk looked at Dren and asked, "Wait! Don't you have your own room now?"
Dren's face grew serious with dread. "I can't go there. Just can't. *He's*
there." Outside the window, Julio the cockroach stood in drag singing "It's
Raining Men."
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