**Actionette** "Far from home"

OOC- For all the new members, hello I'm the captain- I'm not
currently an active member of the BD for the time beaing as I'm too
busy in real life, that's why Whitewolf is in temporary command of
the ship. But he's gone awol at the moment and he's busy in real life
too, so theres something I want to post to the group to tie off a few
loose ends and hopefully restore a little bit or order in a world or
chaos. No, actually scratch that last one and lets be reasonable :-)
RPG:
***Actionette***
"Far from home"
Mayfair, London, England, Earth.
Captain Seymour Niples sat at the desk of his temporary quarters at
the 'Captain's training facility'. Which in all fairness had just
turned out to be nothing more than a 'working man's social club'
owned by the Space Core to get Captains together so they could drink
fine wines, discuss their greatest command moments and play scrabble
where they would make up words and claim that it was the name of a
planet they once went to.
The place was a fairly old building, absolutely reeking with class,
style and expensive brandy. Most of the captains there were a lot
older than Seymour, they had either bald heads, beards or those silly
moustaches which curled up at the ends. One thing that really did
scare Niples was the fact that he would probably turn into one of
these insuffereable stuck-up baffoons who had more money than sense.
Most of them wore tweed jackets or their command-dress uniforms, each
one trying to outdo the other with the number of medals on their
chest.
Seymour had 'retired' from the 'Club royale' (the posh bar
downstairs) to the luxurious quarters he had been given. Although the
place was very nice, and this was his home planet he just didn't feel
right here. True, he had absorbed more or the upper-class attitude
than a sponge absorbs water, but he wanted to go back to the Blue
bucket of bolts out there on the frontier of known space. With a
bottle of Chardonnay on his desk and a glass in one hand, he started
to write to his home.
Dear acting-Captain Whitewolf and the rest of the crew,
My 'training' here has nearly completed, I suppose I have learned
quite a lot about being a captain, especially how and where to get a
decent bottle of Fleur de Lys! I've been discussing many events with
the other Captains here and I have to say that I think the Blue Dwarf
has had many more exciting adventures that a lot of other ships. I
was talking to an elderly CO yesterday who's highlight of his career
was when his laundry ship passed by a black hole and their entire
shipment turned tie-dyed!
I hope that all is well on the Blue Dwarf, and should be as I left
it. I hope you havn't found the Red Dwarf or her crew yet as I was
looking forward to the excitement myself! But seriously I do hope
that nothing dreadful has happened, I'd hate to come back and realise
that Whitewolf had gone missing, Harris had killed himself and there
was a power failure onboard! Haha, but lets be serious shall we?
I have to mention my darling Katrina, whom I have been thinking about
every day since I got here. I hope you get to read this message. I
cannot wait to get back and give you a great big hug. (I'll also
sneek back a few bottles of Chardonnay and some of the Admiralty's
special brand, I hear the 1999 is a very good year!!) then we can
celebrate big. I hope you've been faithful to me, and weren't just
seeing me to sleep your way to the top, because I dont think the
acting-Captain's compatible with our species!
I'll be back soon, and when I am the Blue Dwarf should get back to
normal again. Whatever 'normal' is for an adventuring mining ship
chasing a lost hope.
Live long and enjoy the occasional Don Giovanni!
Captain Seymour Niples
Club Royale, Mayfair, Earth
***Willy Eckerslike's office, Chairman of the JMC, Grimsby, Earth***
The Chairman of the Jupiter Mining corporation looked out of his
office window. Through the rain he could see the faint outline of
Grimsby town.
He was looking at the file of the JMC Blue Dwarf, and assessing to
see if its mission was worth it or not. He'd sent the Blue Dwarf out
to find the Red Dwarf more than a year ago, but they still hadn't
found any solid evidence of its existence. Maybe I should call them
back, he thought. It seemed like the Red Dwarf was gone forever now,
they'd probably never know what had happened to her. Probably gone
off course and burned up in the nearest sun, with all traces of them
ever being there gone forever.
If that was the case then he was wasting another perfectly good ship
looking for it.
It was when he had that thought that his office telephone rang. He
answered it.
"Hello, Mr. Eckerslike?"
"Yes" he said impatiently, for he was an ever-impatient man. "what is
it?"
"It's about the Red Dwarf sir......"
"Yes, I was just reviewing it's search. I was going to call it
off....."
"No sir, we've had a message from the BLUE Dwarf. They say they've
found a surviver from the RED Dwarf!"
"What?! Is this true?"
"Yes sir, I think so sir. Unless you want me to ignore it..."
"NO!, em.... no, I'll take this as a reliable source. The Red Dwarf
has something very important onboard, I think I'll chase every option
available. And that isn't many."
"Yes sir...."
"Have the surviver sent for, I want him here at my office within the
week for inter..I mean questioning. And make sure he gets the....VIP
travel, if you know what I mean." he said with a wicked grin.
His receptionist didn't know what he meant, but ordered the VIP
travel anyway, assuming this surviver was just a very important
person.
***On the Blue Dwarf, 2:45PM***
Resident nobody, layabout, jobless and alien: Efof Yu'wanker fell out
of his messy bed, still wrapped in his bedclothes. His eyes hardly
opened, he tried to remember where he was.
Efof used to be a decent member of society, when he lived on the
Planet Ffion a thousand years ago he was respected. He was nice, he
was polite- but thats because Ffion was a paradise. And now living
amongst humans on a smelly, leaky blue tug boat he had been exposed
to all the wrongs with human society. And he loved it!!
The bottles of booze that had made the night so much more unmemorable
lay scattered across the floor. The girl he had been with had long
gone, probably for fear of the dangerous leves of gastric emissions
coming from Efof after that curry(s).
"It's too early!!" Efof manages to shout, or groan at the person who
was knocking at his door.
"It's nearly three o clock in the afternoon!" came the reply at the
door. And after a silence, he knocked again.
Efof gave up, he rubbed the stubble on his forehead and thought he
should at least cover himself up- so he put a hat on. Then he
realised he should probably cover his lover half up too, as humans
tended to get freaked out when they saw his nose.
Eventually, he opened to door and squnted at the light in the hallway.
"What?" he said.
The figure stood there, he was an officer. From the flight-deck if
Efof could read his badge correctly.
"I have a mission for you." He said.
"A mission?" Efof was startled, he'd never done any work for this
ship and was surprised that anyone was asking him to.
"Yes," the officer continued. "The chairman of the JMC wants you to
fly the only-known surviver of the Red Dwarf back to Earth. Can you
do that?"
The officer looked at the state Efof was in and wasn't too confident
himself, but he had orders, and the other pilots were unavailable.
Efof was the only choice.
Efof grinned as he imagined piloting a Blue Midget on his own through
space. With Chen next to him screaming like a girl.
"I'll get my collection of Papa Roach CD's" Efof said with an evil
smile.
20 minutes later the officer watched Efof fly a Blue Midget out of
the docking bay. The doors opened just in time for Efof to scrape
through.
The man's superior walked up to him as the shuttle sped off into
space.
"Did he have a driving licence?"
The officer turned pale.
<To be continued when I have time, in the meantime continue with your
exciting BD lives!>
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Lt. Cmdr David "Onion" Ball
Assistant Helm officer/ Pilot USS Endeavour-A
Captain Seymour Niples JMC Blue Dwarf
WWW.Home.JMCBlueDwarf.com
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