*Never say never*.... especially when *hamsters* are involved!

AKA - Of Hamsters, Men, Holograms, and Department Store Owners
OOC - This is a joint post between Zack, Cubie and White Wolf. This
should clear things up a bit. Sorry Stewie, We had some emailing back
and forth between us going, and your curve ball plotline just
required us to modify plans our plans a tad to include you. Hope it
wasn't to stressful for ya!
And Andy, was I shut up long enough for your satisfaction?
(Per your Friday request...)
And oh, BTW everybody - I'm taking a four day vacation. (Starting
tommorrow). I'll be at home trying to get in some much needed
computer gaming, (but I will checking be in periodically so don't
worry!) And If anyone's interested in a game of Diablo 2 anytime this
four day weekend of mine, just give me a holler. I'd love to be able
play with someone from the BD! In the mean time, I hope you enjoy
AJ's (& my) subplot we've been crafting. I figure there's alot more
in store...
RPG -
-----
Cubie and Zack stood in stunned silence as Stewie appeared in
front of
them in a blinding flash.
"Wha?" Zack perceptively blithered.
"Ehh?" Cubie cleverly replied.
White Wolf groaned, and coughed up a bloody bubble. Stewie knelt
beside him. "Captain? Are you all right?"
Cubie snapped out of it. "Are you kidding? A giant raving you
squished him! His eyeballs nearly bulged right out of his head!"
White Wolf gestured weakly for Cubie to come close. She knelt
on the
other side of him. "I'm so sorry, captain. I don't know why I
brought us
here."
She shimmered, and her clothing was replaced by a triage nurse's
uniform. She ran a quick diagnosis of the badly injured hamster.
White
Wolf's ribcage had been crushed, along with several vertebrae in his
central
spinal column. Unless something was done soon, he'd die.
She realized that the only place where the giant rodent could get
proper treatment was the one place she didn't want to go - STCP
headquarters.
Looking over her shoulder at Zack, she leaned forward and
whispered to
White Wolf. "We've got to go to STCP headquarters. If we don't,
you'll
die."
White Wolf nodded weakly, and Cubie motioned Zack over. She
took White
Wolf's paw in her hand, reached across White Wolf and took Stewie's
hand,
then looked up at her husband. "Take us to STCP headquarters."
Zack stepped back. "Are you crazy? They'll shoot me and erase
you!"
Cubie looked up at Zack, her eyes pleading. "Zack, if we don't
take
White Wolf to the STCP medical facility, he'll die. And I brought
him here.
This is MY fault!"
Zack briefly considered asking her to leave him behind, but he
knew
that losing her would be worse than death. Sighing, he stepped
forward and
placed a hand on Cubie's shoulder. In his other hand he held Cubie's
controller. "Let's go."
Stewie looked from face to face in confusion. "Go? Go where?"
Zack pushed the 'Home' button.
The tunnel opened beneath them, and they landed smack in the
middle of
the jousting tournament again. The knights that had been thundering
toward
each other were thrown from their suddenly-rearing mounts.
Cubie gaped at Merlin. "Oh, smeg! What's going on?! Zack -
hit the
'Home' button!"
Zack boggled as the knights once again approached with swords
drawn.
"I DID!" He stabbed it again.
Another tunnel trip later, they were right back in the mud. By
now the
knights were close enough to smell. Zack remembered reading about
medieval
hygiene, but experiencing it was something else entirely. "Cubie!
Whats
going on?"
White Wolf shoved a paw into a pouch on his vest and pulled out
a small
black cube. He pressed a thumb claw against one side, and with a
soft chime, it
faded to a dull gray. He croaked at Cubie, "Try it again. My
temporal
diverter is deactivated now."
Cubie's eyes were saucers. "You have a temporal-"
Her astonished question was cut short as Zack mashed the 'Home'
button
again, sending them all tumbling away.
Merlin frowned. His familiar had warned him that this witch
might
someday appear, but Arthur's knights had been incompetent and allowed
her to
escape. Turning, he stalked away from the pavilion and headed for the
nearest cluster of trees. Once he was hidden from sight, he pulled
out his
wand, twisted the handle, and pressed the hidden button that was
revealed.
A holographic display appeared in front of him, a giant black hamster
with a
milky white left eye. The hamster stroked a guinea pig in its lap
while
lackadaisically gnawing on a block of what Merlin guessed was cedar.
"Hello, Merlin. What can I do for you today?" The hamster
picked his
teeth with the claw of his pinky finger.
Merlin swallowed. "My Liege, the witch you prophesied was
here. With
her familiar."
"WHAT?!" The hamster dropped the cedar block. "Are you certain
it was
them?"
Merlin nodded. "'A witch dropping from a cave in the sky,
followed by
a giant hamster'. Yes, my master. There is no mistaking this."
The black hamster hissed, tossing the guinea pig off his lap.
The tiny
creature squeaked in terror and scurried away. The hamster leaned
forward
eagerly. "You imprisoned them, I assume?"
Merlin dropped his gaze to the ground. "No, master. They
escaped
before Arthur's knights could capture them."
The hamster was silent for a long time. Merlin waited patiently,
knowing that his life hung by a thread.
Finally, the hamster nodded slowly. "That miserable White
Wolf. He
did this to taunt me. He KNEW I was watching!"
Merlin looked up, a quizzical look on his wizened
features. "Shall I
begin watching for an albino wolf?"
"Oh, shut up! No wonder everyone thought you were living
backwards -
you ARE backwards! Bah!" The hologram disappeared. Merlin stood
there for
several seconds before finally letting out a long breath. Turning, he
headed back to the pavilion.
<STCP HQ>
The Blue Dwarf quartet dropped onto a padded retrieval site.
White
Wolf landed at the bottom of the pile, and groaned as he felt three
bodies
land on top of him.
Cubie jumped up, pulling Stewie and Zack off the crushed hamster.
"SORRY! Sorry!"
A throat cleared. All eyes turned to where Blotz stood, a VBG-
9000
held in each fist. Both barrels were pointed squarely at Zack.
A smaller man in a flawlessly-tailored suit entered the room,
flanked
by four medical technicians. "Easy, Blotz. They've been invited
here.
Although," he gave White Wolf a meaningful glance, "you are somewhat
late."
He gestured, and the medics swarmed over White Wolf, gently loading
him onto
a hover-stretcher and whisking him away.
The well-dressed man stepped forward and took Cubie's controller
out of
Zack's hand. "You won't be needing this." Slipping it into a jacket
pocket, he turned and headed for the door. Pausing just before he
walked
out of sight in the direction the medical team had taken the hamster,
he
looked back at Blotz. "See to the needs of our other guests.
Holding cell
forty-two will be adequate." Then he was gone.
Blotz smiled, something that made Zack's knees go weak. Stewie
was
impressed by the massive amount of hardware Blotz sported. "I could
get you
chrome polish wholesale."
Blotz's smile disappeared. Gesturing with one of the VGB-
9000's, he
herded them to the door and out into the corridor.
Ten minutes later, Cubie and Stewie were sitting in holding cell
forty-two. It was actually a very nicely furnished office - with a
heavily
armored door that locked from the outside. Blotz had hauled Zack off
for
'questioning', although Cubie knew it was probably just going to be a
gratuitous beating. She paced nervously, biting her lower lip.
Stewie sat thinking furiously. Defeating evil-Stewie had been a
nice
closure to a situation that had haunted him for quite some time, but
it
appeared that they were in quite a bit of trouble with the STCP -
whoever
they were. He watched Cubie pacing back and forth. "Can I help?"
Cubie looked up at him. Her expression was one of intense
concern, but
it softened as she looked at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. McKenzie. I'm
just
worried about Zack."
She sat in the leather-bound chair across from Stewie. "I want
you to
know that during the brief time that I worked with Christine on the
Phantom
of the Opera, I found in her a wonderful woman. My deepest
sympathies."
-------------------
OOC - <Stewie - care to chat with Cubie while you wait for Blotz to
return?>
-------------------
Meanwhile -
The four medical technicians guided the hover-stretcher into the
medical complex of STCP HQ. An authoritative looking doctor directed
them to dock the hover-stretcher into a nearby diagnostics docking
station.
When hover-stretcher was docked, the authoritative looking doctor
glanced over the read the read out outloud, "A male Hamster Sapien,
I'll say we don't get too many of these. This is probably the reason
why, if they all wind up like this. He's got a crushed ribcage, and
several crushed vertebrae in the central spinal column. We need to
take 'em to the Auto-Surgeon, now."
The four medical technicians manuvered the hover-stretcher into the
hallway.
The authoritative looking doctor started to follow the four
technicians, but he was halted as Blotz came in and quickly grabbed
his arm. The Doctor tried to yank his arm away and shouted, "Let go
of me, Lieutenant. I've got a patient to save!"
Blotz replied, "Make sure he doesn't escape!", and then slowly let
the man's arm go.
The four medical technicians drove the hover-stretcher into another
room and up to a huge cyclindrical machine, and started loading the
huge hamster onto a platform the lead into a chamber in the center of
the cyclinder. The authoritative looking doctor quickly followed the
four into the room, and ordered the technician who was seated at a
nearby console,
"We need a full bone knitting and spinal work up for this one right
now, Technician!"
"Yes, Doctor." Replied the Auto-Surgeon technician.
The four medical technicians finished moving the placid form of the
large hamster on the platform, and then drove the hover-stretcher out
of the room. And the Auto-Surgeon technician programmed the console
and started it up. The platform slowy rolled the limp form of the
huge hamster into the cyclindrical machine's chamber.
Blotz slowly wandered into the room seemingly disliking the huge
machine and the general feel of the entire STCP medical complex. He
glared omnimously at the Auto-Surgeon technician and asked, "Will he
be able to escape from that?"
Auto-Surgeon technician turned towards Blotz as if suddenly noticing
him, and qauiled, "Well, I..."
The authoritative looking doctor quickly interupted, "The chamber's
apeture is barely large enough to admit him, Lieutenant. He'll never
escape from there."
Blotz glowered at the doctor for several seconds with a look of 'he
better not', and then glancing at the door as if anxious to leave,
Blotz asked "How long with this take?"
"Approximately, 15 Minutes.", replied the Auto-Surgeon technician.
"Good, I'll be back to retreive him then. In the meantime you watch
him!" ordered Blotz as he headed for the door.
"Relax, Lieutenant. The patient is a hamster, not some kind of
monster." retorted the Doctor as Blotz exited the room.
Blotz paused to glare at him, and then left.
The doctor waited a few moments and then muttered, "Henchmen! Always
too eager to get thier grimey paws all over anyone whom they suspect
of committing some crime... With some monsters, I could see thier
point, but a hamster?!? And with those injuries? No doubt brought on
by the usual henchmens brutal handling. It at times like these, I
wonder if their getting a little carried away with thier enforcement
of the law. You know what I mean?"
The technician nodded while reading the display, and replied "Well,
At least this one's going to another statistic of the Henchmans. The
Auto-Surgeon doing an excellent job, so he should pull through."
"Good, I'll check back in a few minutes then.", And the doctor left.
The technician sat for about 12 minutes drumming his fingers as the
Auto-Surgeon worked. He suddenly felt the urge to go to the bathroom.
He quickly looked around, and saw nobody within sight. He glanced at
the Auto-Surgeons display and got up walking for the door while
muttering, "What the Hell? The hamster ain't going anywhere, and I
doubt anyone will notice anyway."
As the technician to make his way to the nearest restroom, the huge
hamster awoke in the Auto Surgeon. His eyes fluttered open. And the
dark, crampedness of the tube he was in gave him immediate feelings
of cloisteraphobia. He tried sitting up, and found he couldn't.
His mind raced, as several horrible scenarios played out through his
thoughts - Was he eaten? Was he trapped inside a crushed escape pod
or starbug? Did he get have another nightmare about Darken and 'sleep
crawl' his way into another hole somewhere?
He shifted and saw a some light up ahead of him and started
squirminging in earnest toward it.
------------
Outside, in the hallway as the Auto-Surgeon technician was walking
back from his call of nature, a tunnel suddenly opened in front of
him. A giant black hamster with a
milky white left eye stepped out of the tunnel in front of him
brandishing a huge cannon that looked it was more appropriate on a
tank and demanded, "Have you seen someone that looks like me around
here?"
The technician stammered, "Yeah, He's in the Auto-Surgeon 2000."
"Thanks, idiot!" replied the giant black hamster with a cruel smile
as he pulled the trigger once on his Falcon hammer series 'thrush
fire feature' railgun and blowing a fantasic hole in the technician
chest and several of the walls behind him, eventually creating an
explosion somewhere deep in the STCP complex.
Suddenly several STCP alarms went off, and a STCP henchmen quickly
rounded the corner yelling "Halt!". The giant black furred hamster
quickly turned and held his claw down on the trigger and strafed the
area using the falcom hammers 1000 energy rounds per second thrush
firing feature until the hallway was reduced to rubble. Then with a
mean looking smirk, the huge black hamster slung his weapon up, and
started marching toward the room with Auto-Surgeon.
A few more henchmen appeared coming down the hallway in an attempt to
stop him, and the black hamster quickly mowed them down like mere
blades of grass with a weed whip. The destruction in medical complex
was unprecendented by the time the black hamster stepped into the
room with the Auto-Surgeon.
The huge black hamster, eyed the room with the large cyclindrical
machine and said, "And now, you die you miserable wet tailed
vermin!" The black hamster held his claw down on the trigger of his
Falcon hammer series railgun for about ten seconds as he strafed the
entire machine with energy rounds until it exploded.
The Black Hamster smiled a truely nasty smile, and began walking
further into the STCP HQ, While muttering, "Now, I wonder where these
stupid fools would detain Merlins so called witch? No matter, I love
a good turkey shoot!"
----------
Is the Blue Dwarf Acting Captain, White Wolf, a goner?
Staying tuned to find out in the further adventures of the Blue Dwarf!