Cmdr Smegg - "OK so you finally got me to post again... for now"

Location: Engineering
Time: Who knows? Who cares?
Characters: Smegg, Zodar, some incompetent engineer
The engineers were doing ordinary engineer-y stuff that was getting kind
of boring, not having any spatial anomalies to investigate or death ray
cannons to install.
"Can you pass me a, um, what's it called?" a guy said.
"No, I can't," Zodar replied.
"Why not?" the guy said?
"Because I don't know what you're talking about!"
Smegg listened to this exchange and chuckled, it sounded like a Smothers
Brothers routine. Those guys were great...
"I yelled fire when I fell into the chocolate," sang the guy.
No, really, he said, "One of those thingies with the little doohickey on
the end, you know, the one that goes ricka-ricka when you turn it on."
"The red doohickey, or the green doohickey?"
"Does it matter?" the guy asked.
"OF COURSE IT BLOODY MATTERS" Zodar exploded, "if you use the wrong one
you could short out the whole ship's circuitry!"
"Oh," the guy said, "sorry."
"Here, let me come see what you're trying to do," Zodar said, adding
"whyever you would need a red-doohickey thingy."
Maybe Smegg was young and fresh out of school (well, relatively, it had
been over a year since he'd joined the crew) and idealistic, but he
thought it would be much better if people just used the proper words for
things. Call a flux inhibitor a flux inhibitor, he always said.
Just then (it was ALWAYS "just then"), the intercom rang (or buzzed or
beeped or played "On the blue Danube" with full orchestral accompaniment
or whatever it did these days). The announcement came on just like in a
high school PA system: "May I have your attention please. Will the
following crew members please come to Commander Whitewolf's office for
debriefing on an upcoming away mission: Lt. Jay Chrysler, Dr. Larry
Trisees..."
---------
Location: Commander Whitewolf's office
Time: 10 minutes later (like that really matters)
Characters: Commander Whitewolf and the members of the away teams
"Ooh, 'Survivor'", said Kayn.
"'Survivor'?" asked Whitewolf.
"Yeah, 'Survivor'" said Kayn. "You do know that the first series was held
in the jungle, don't you?"
"Do we get to vote each other off?" Smegg asked. "Never mind, I'd
probably go first."
"That doesn't sound very productive," commented Major Harris.
"Which one was your favorite?" Kayn asked? "I liked the the '134th Series
Spectacular!' when they stuck everybody in a replica of the house from
'The Simpsons'."
"Nah, that one was too much like 'Big Brother'," Smegg said. "My favorite
was number 207, 'Survivor: The Final Frontier' where everyone was stuck
on a broken-down space freighter. I remember the first thing they did was
burn all the Star Trek tapes for nitrogen to grow plants in!"
"I hated it when they started using a regular cast. Took all the fun out
of it. When was that, series 160-177?"
"Prithee, canst we getteth back to business?" Dr. Shakespeare said.
"Right," said Whitewolf. "Now, we'll also need some vict- uh, volunteers.
Who wants to go do recruiting?"
Everyone's hand raised at the chance to get their friends into a
potentially dangerous mission.
OOC - So I can post reasonably well again, if I just put my mind to it!
It's fun to play with the new characters, I just never got to do it
before!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dumb quote: "Have a nice death, baby!" - Lance Boyle, "MegaRace"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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