It's a dog's life

a couple of snips:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------Keto
tossed him a jar of green coloured pills.
"Do these work?" asked Shakespeare walked hurriedly back out of the
medibay.
"Yes, of course," said Keto.
Shakespeare nodded and then sped from the room and back out in the
corridor, reaching his top speed again and heading for the Memorial
Hall.
Inside the medibay Keto added, "If you're a dog."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Welleth, when thy's feeling strange'st. Taketh one per meal,"
said Shakespeare. He went over the sentence in his mind. 'Needth to
improve thy English, William,' he told himself.
Schweeble looked at the jar of green pills and slipped them in his
pocket.
--------------------end snips--------------------------------------------
Joe had been feeling quite strange since he started taking the pills,
earlier he had to stop himself from trying to lick his own balls and when
his ear started to itch he found himself scratching it with his left foot!!.
After that he'd decided to go for a walk, he started down the corridor,
walking on all fours then realised what he was doing and stood up and loped
down through the ship.
As he passed one of the ventilation ducts he caught the scent of something,
something tasty, he went into the duct and then saw the source of the smell.
It was PITA, Katrina's cat, he barked loudly at it and chased it out of
the vents and down the corridor. The cat ran round the corner and into the
medibay followed closely by Joe, it saw the Pink Tree and ran up it quickly.
The tree rustled in alarm and Joe sat down at it's base and growled at the
cat. What he did then would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. He
didn't have any control over what he was doing, he cocked his leg and
urinated on the tree just as Tara and ensign Wildflower entered the room.
"What the smeg are you doing!!!?" Tara shouted.
"I...I..I don't know, somethings not right, i feel funny" Joe said and
started howling.
"H..Help..Me" Joe blubbered and then collapsed.
<help me or commit me to an asylum...your choice Tara>
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