Armourzilla Versus Ointmentator 2: Mercution - The Showdown (by WW
Time: Just before the eliminator match between the Medibays'
Ointmentator, and the Security departments' Armourzilla bot.
Craig Charles attempted to interview Donover, Tom, Dick and Harry
about the Armourzilla.
"So can you give me any details about this fearsome Armourzilla of
yours?"
"Ummm.." said Tom, "Well, I didn't work on it."
"Your darn right it's fearsome, we're the Security Team!" replied
Harry and Dick quickly screamed, red-faced, "Wahoo!"
Donover managed "Well, I guess, they've said it all."
"Ok then, Let's see how the Armourzilla does against the
Ointmentator!" finished Craig, while giving the signal to start.
Donover used the remote once again to start the Armourzilla. The
Armourzilla simply stood glaring as the Ointmentator advanced, while
squirting out some foul smelling ointment. Then the Armourzilla
quickly walked away. As the Armourzilla went by, Keto tried to
quickly turn the Ointmentator and attempt to squirt the Armourzilla
with ointment number 232 (Acetic acid). He missed, and the
Armourzilla walked out of bounds again, sat down, and curled up into
a ball.
"What's this folks? Is the Armourzilla already admitting defeat?"
intoned Craig Charles.
Keto maneuvered the Ointmentator towards the Armourzilla, as two of
the house robots, Killalot and Dead Metal, quickly moved over towards
the Armourzilla preparing to attack.
Craig Charles grinned, and announced "It looks like the Armourzilla
is about to become triple teamed!"
And the Armourzilla just sat in a ball as Killalot swung and glanced
off its armour, Dead Metal pulled up to a side position and also
glanced off its armour. Keto had the Ointmentator trundle up to a
position opposite of Killalot and began squirting ointment number
132454946 (tar) upon the trio.
As the trio begin to get mired in the ointment, the Armourzilla
unfurled, and quickly stepped out from between the Ointmentator and
Killalot just as Killalot was about to gore the Armourzilla on a
spike. Instead it impaled the Ointmentator. As Killalot's spike
cruelly punctured the Ointmentator, and out spurted a variety of
ointments further miring the four bots.
Craig Charles, "Ah ha! The Armourzilla was playing Possum. This
doesn't look good for the Ointmentator!"
Coffey yelled, "Oh no, Killalot struck our main tanks, we're going to
lose all our weapons!"
The Armourzilla spun, swinging it tail with tremendous force towards
Dead Metal, and Dead Metal was hit like a Baseball across the arena,
and the Armourzilla's aim was pretty good, as Dead Metal clipped
Shunt, knocking them both into the far wall.
Keto quickly tried to turn the Ointmentator to face the Armourzilla
so he could dose it with some more ointment 132454946 (tar) before it
could move any further. But, to his horror, The Ointmentator was
stuck fast and it couldn't turn! The Armourzilla charged forward,
grabbing Killalot and using it as a shield as it pushed both Killalot
and the Ointmentator towards the center of the arena.
Killalot resisted, and nearly pushed off the Armourzilla. But the
Armourzilla stepped back and in a show of strength, ripped off some
of the Ointmentator's track treads. The Armourzilla used it like a
whip against Killalot, slowly smashing it back further and further,
until it went out of bounds again. Then the Armourzilla turned back
towards the Ointmentator, and dropped the treads.
Meanwhile Keto was frantically trying to see if the Ointmentator
could move with one of it's treads severely damaged, and it spun
uselessly in a circle, and then halted.
Craig Charles continued with a classic line, "Oh no, I think they
might be disabled!"
There the Ointmentator stood still, dead in the centre of the arena
floor. Keto, panicking at the controls, turned to Shakespeare.
"Quickly, what should I do?"
"Hit the red button," nodded Shakespeare, "It activates our secret
uranium weapon!"
Keto blinked, then grinned evilly. An atomic weapon would be deadly
indeed. Glaring down at Armourzilla, approaching slowly, he pushed
the red button.
On top of the Ointmentator, a small hatchway opened. The crowd drew
in its breath, waiting to see what horror would emerge. Slowly,
tension mounting, something extended upwards...
An iron claw, holding a bar of non-fissile uranium, moved upwards. As
the crowd watched with bated breath, it moved from side to side,
rotated around the Ointmentator, and then...withdrew back inside, the
hatchway closing.
There was silence for a second. Then Keto turned to Shakespeare.
"That...was our secret weapon?"
"Yes!" nodded Shakespeare triumphantly, "Wasn't it great?"
Keto's curse was lost beneath the crowd's cheer as Armourzilla,
realizing just what it was up against, roared to life and charged
towards the Ointmentator.
"Plan B!" yelled Keto, and flicked a couple of switches on the rear
of the controller. Underneath Ointmentator II, twin giant rockets
ignited, carrying the refrigerator clear of the arena floor.
Armourzilla passed harmlessly underneath.
"YES!" cheered Keto, "Now we're BACK!"
"Uh, no we're not," interrupted Coffey, tugging on his shoulder. Keto
looked up as the Ointmentator kept going straight up.
"..steering," muttered Keto as a faint hissing was heard, "I knew we
forgot something..."
Suddenly he blinked as the hissing rose in volume. The entire crowd
looked upwards.
"Uh...duck!" exclaimed Keto, and immediately dived to the floor. The
medical team followed a couple of seconds after.
Up in the Ointmentator, a couple of tanks of ointments leaked into
each other. The result was clear for all to see...
With a flare of light and a burst of sound, the Ointmentator II
exploded, showering the arena with debris, rocket fuel and several
highly-unstable ointments.
"And the winner -" managed Craig Charles, crouching behind a sheet of
metal as a piece of refrigerator door embedded itself by his
head, "Is Armourzilla!"
====================
OOC: This post copyright 2001 White Wolf and all members of the
Medibay...and all of Blue Dwarf...and Red Dwarf for the
inspiration...and Robot Wars...damn it, forget the contracts!
Hope that wraps up the Robot Wars (for those two, anyway!)
As for my posting of the wrong bit of POTO...whoops! Sorry, I'll
post the next bit as soon as I possibly can! Maybe if I were to turn
my brain the RIGHT way up for once...
- Dr Keto, Blue Dwarf Doctor and Ointment Maker Extraordinaire
(Irritated Owner of One Explosively Dismantled Ointmentator)