Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Lt. Jason Smegg - \"You stop to avoid hitting your dog\"

Dear all
 
As CO of this sim I'd like to make a slight amendment to Lt. Smeggs post (and cool Monty Python rip off)
Harris was not actually on the away team, he is on the BD recovering from the giant chicken attack and halucinating from the purple pills Josh gave him.
 
I had to do this before Harris bit my legs off.
Thanks everyone! :-)
 
Commander Niples

----- Original Message -----
From: e.kolis@...
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@egroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, September 20, 2000 1:33 AM
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Lt. Jason Smegg - "You stop to avoid hitting your dog"
An away team? Oh boy! Smegg had never been on an away team before. He'dalways had to stay back and mind the ship's engines. Which was fun, yes,but nothing compared to the excitement of exploring strange new worlds,seeking out alien civilizations...Then he realized how dangerous this particular mission could be. He'dprefer to explore slightly less freakish new worlds, seek out slightlyless hostile alien civilizations. It was just the happy bomb radiationtalking.But... it would be FUN! Happy happy! Joy joy! Die Ren and Stimpy!So he set off.-------------------------------In the deep dark corridors of the Proxima Orbital Poultry Facility,suddenly a giant letter "h" with arms and legs appeared in front of theaway team. It was a dark orange color, and, well, it was a letter "h". Ofcourse everyone was shocked to see a giant letter "h" walking around in aspace station, but then this was a secret genetic research facility, andthese were trained Space Corps officers who should tough out any suchstrange occurrence.Although, Smegg realized the reference to an old computer game known as"nethack" in which an intrepid adventurer, represented by a "@", exploresa dungeon in search of treasure, and must fight against numerousmonsters, represented by various letters of the alphabet. Someone at theresearch lab must have had a weird sense of humor. He began to chuckle."Halt!" said the "h". "None may pass!" As it spoke the words appearedover its head."Why?" said Major Harris. "Cause we got a mission to do here and you'rein the way!""NONE MAY PASS!!!""Smeg off you bastard," Harris replied and drew his bazookoid.The "h" drew a sword from out of nowhere and swung it. It missed.Words appeared in the air: "THE HOBGOBLIN MISSES"A searing blue plasma bolt shot out of the bazookoid toward the "h".It missed too.Words appeared in the air: "YOU MISS THE HOBGOBLIN""Damn!"Harris fired again. This time he hit the "h" and tore off its left leg.The "h" swung again and disemboweled Private Kenny Loman."Oh my god it killed Kenny!" yelled Doom Harbinger. "DIE BASTARD DIE!!!"Private Harbinger unsheathed twin bazookoids. Two plasma bolts seeked outtoward the "h".The "h" now had one of its four original appendages. (Its left arm.)Harris began to lead the away team past the disabled monster."I'm not finished yet!" the monster yelled. It picked up the sword withits undominant hand and swung haphazardly at Harris's leg.Harris jumped over the sword and blasted the creature's arm off."Now you gonna give up? Or do I have to blow your head off too before youunderstand?""Tis only a flesh wound! I'll bite your eyes out!" the creature snarled."Fat chance," Harris said, and finished it off.By this time Lt. Smegg and Ensign Cauty were rolling on the floor withlaughter.How could everyone else have missed out on seeing a classic like "MontyPython and the Holy Grail"?Then the chicken came...-----------------------------------------------------------------------"We are... two bold and stupid men!"   - Dirk Perfect and Guido Crescendo     Itinerant Swordsmen and     Instructors in the Art of Gentlemanly Behavior________________________________________________________________YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!Juno now offers FREE Internet Access!Try it today - there's no risk!  For your FREE software, visit:http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagjThe continuing adventures of the Blue Dwarf...To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:JMC_Blue_Dwarf-unsubscribe@egroups.com