Driving a Hamster to drink...

<OOC - I just wanted to say I really enjoyed the Anniversary chat!
Hopefully we can look forward to many more... And a real Kudos for
the BD's success belongs to every member of the Blue Dwarf sim, Your
the best bunch on the net!!!>
Now on with my game post -
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The huge hamster looked at the tattered letter he'd jackhammered from
the flattened scutters reamins. It took him a better part of the hour
just to find a jackhammer powerful enough to pry that thing apart,
And he'd spent nearly five hours carefully jackhammering the letter
free. But since he failed to hear the warning about the gravity
generators being turned off, over his jackhammering, he nearly
shredded the letter in the instant the generators were turned off.
Though he recovered quickly enough, the damage to the letter was done.
The huge hamster re-read what was legiable of the beautiful
handwritting -
"My dearest wolfie,
I know this comes just before critical time for you, and I wanted
to send you this letter from the future so that I may warn my you
that...
{gaping hole in the paper}
Only I hope will get this letter, that I asked our mutal friend,...
{another hole in the paper}
I hope you can overlook our intervention as a desaparte gesture of
help from your friends and by someone who cares for you, and in my
case, loves you. I meant it when I said I don't care what anybody
else says, I'm your girlfriend, So what if your a overgrown hamster!
Love,"
The name was torn off, destroyed along with the rest of the letter.
White Wolf could tell from the telltale cursive style handwriting,
that this letter was written by woman. But he wasn't entirely sure if
it was written by his one and only ex-girlfriend, Jane. Besides, it
didn't sound like her, because she had broken up with him the moment
she found out he was transformed into a hamster. She said something
about her not wanting to be the female half of a 'Tarzan and Jane
show 'before storming off and leaving his life.
And White Wolf admittedly still hadn't quite convinced himself he'd
ever have another girlfriend. But this handwritten letter eluded to
the fact the he might have a girlfriend in the future. He wondered
for a moment, who could it be? Unfortunately, the letter didn't seem
to give him very many clues to go on. And the huge hamster realized
all that jackhammering and pondering made him thirsty, so he put away
the tattered letter in a vest pocket and cleaned up the work area.
Then he went out into the hallway to a food dispencer, and ordered
himself a mug of honeydew flavored soya drink.
He picked up the mug, and smelled it before drinking, as was his
habit. Something didn't smell quite right, it smelled vaguely like
one of Dr. Keto's ointments. So he sniffed again, more carefully this
time. Yes, there was just a hint of some foriegn chemical to the
drinks aroma. He quickly pulled out his vidman, and brought up Holly
2.
"Hi ya, long time no see White Wolf!" replied the odd looking Holly 2
in a pink wig and gaudy red lipstick.
The hamsters face grimaced as a horrible thought darted across his
mind, and then he said "Um, Hello Holly 2. Could you do a quick
chemical component analysis on this drink? It doesn't smell right to
me."
"Sure thing, I'll just download the scanning program from the
mainframe. By the way what's wrong? You look your going to be sick
again."
"Um, we need to talk about your looks Holly 2."
"Oh, you want me to try some other look?"
"Yes."
"Ok, what personality shall I download?"
"Didn't you want to pick that, Holly 2?"
"Yes, but there's too many alternatives to choose from in the
holographic female personalities database, I need to narrow it down
somehow."
"OK, then, why don't we pick one from the time period which all those
pictures in Parrots bar comes from?"
"Still too many."
"Ok, How's about the entertaineers of that period."
"Still too many."
"Hmm, I've always liked music, so how's about we try singers?"
"There's still quite a few."
"Ok, Can you show me some of the popular ones of the time?"
"Here's nice country singer named Shawnia." Says Holly 2 while
flashing a short video of her on the vidmans screen.
"No, I don't like country music that much, it puts me to sleep. Have
you got someone that sings some rock instead?"
"How's about Joan Jett, or Madonna?" Says Holly 2 shifting into short
video of them on the screen.
"Good gravy! You could poke somebodies eye with that bra thingie on
Madonna! No, get somebody less harsh on the eyes than either of those
two."
"How's about Debbie gibson or Tiffany?", Again Holly 2 runs a short
video of them on the screen.
"Mmm, their both a little young, But I do like the blonde hair, it
sorta reminds me of my ex-girlfriend's pretty waist length hair, got
any popular non-american blonde singers from that time period?"
"Well, here's a british singer named Samantha Fox." As Holly 2
displays her doing some sort of dance.
"Say, she's rather pretty! And she's got a nice voice... But If I
remember right, wasn't there an american porn star with that same
name?"
"Yes, but she's a brunette and couldn't sing or act, see?" Said Holly
2 while showing a brief snippet of her doing a naughty thing.
"Your right, and she ain't as pretty as the blonde! Alright, I
recommend you use the british Samantha Fox, instead."
"Great!" Replied Holly 2 as a happy looking Samantha Fox slowly
replaced his male wigged visage, "Say, I hope you didn't drink any of
that stuff there, the analysis just came back, and says it's laced
with heavy industrial laxative."
"Eeww! Thanks for the warning, Holly 2!" The huge hamster paused for
a moment, "Hmmm, a new name would be more appropriate for your new
personality, wouldn't it? Would you mind if I call you Sam instead?"
The perky faced blonde smiled, and replied in a new female
voice "Well, it is short for Samantha, and I think I already like it.
Go right ahead!"
"Good. Can you run a diagnostic on the dispencer for me, Sam? It's
probably malfunctioning, and I'm going to need to fix it." Replied
the overgrown hamster as he opened up the food dispencer.
"It shouldn't be, the main frames records say that third technician
Dren serviced it just a little while ago. But, the diagnostics do
show a fault in section Q12." replied the newly dubbed Sam.
The huge hamster stuck his head inside the machine, and glancing at
the indicated area and noticed the rerouted laxative tubing, and
called back to Sam, "How in the blazes did he do that?!? Did he
service any others? If he did, could you run a Diag on those too?"
"Umm.. Yes he serviced nearly every one of them on the officers deck.
Errm, Holly says all of them are showing the same faults in Q12 too,
and he mentioned something about the scutters, But I'm afraid to ask
him what it is."
"Why, you suddenly getting shy with your new pretty looks, Sam?"
"Umm, No, I... Umm... But Holly just made a pass at me!"
"What?!" The overgrown hamster nearly banged his head, and then shook
his head and replied "Sam, you should be flattered... I think..." and
huge hamster finished correcting the misrouted tubing, and closed up
the food dispencer while looking extremely puzzled.
"Is something wrong?" Queried the pretty blonde songstress.
"Well, I think the odds are against Dren being a complete smegging
idiot plus the worst 3rd tech ever in the JMC's history, by
repeatedly making the exact same mistake on every food dispencer he's
serviced on this deck. If I were a betting hamster, I'd lay
dollarpounds that he's been purposely messing up these food
dispencers as some childish prank."
"Are you going to put him on report?"
"Nope. I've got a better idea. Do you know where is he now?"
Holly quickly appeared on the food dispensers screen while winking at
Sam, "Oh, I can answer that, Third technician Dren is at Parrots.
Care to join me there for a round?"
"Well, I'm still thirsty, guess I'll head over there too." Replies
the huge hamster as he taps in something on Sams vidman
keypad, "Would you transmit this command sequence to the damamged
Bion ball a few minutes before I get there, Sam?"
Holly shook his head at the hamster and darting his eyes while
whispering confidential like "I was asking to her!"
Both Sam and the huge hamster replied to him in unison, "Holly, go
take a cold shower!"
--------------------------
<OOC - I know I'm doing this a little *ssbackwards, but I'm leaving
it to the Swarm and Kamikaze teams to write the more involved final
robot battle post between them! And this is the best way (I think)
Harris and I could easily say that 'zilla lost in the final round.
And I haven't the slightest I idea what's in the pinball round, since
I'm in the USA and we only get to watch the idiotic commentators on
the 'battlebot show' instead of seeing the decent sounding action
stuff I hear you guys chatting about for the UK show. But, I would
like to do a joint post with Shakespear, Keto, Coffey and Mulcahy for
really good eliminator round, so would you people (*pretty please*)
contact me, if you want to do one!>
ok, Back to the RPG -
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Meanwhile down in the Robot Wars arena, during the final eliminator,
the Armourzilla is busy circling the the Swarm and the Kamikaze bots.
The Bion balls AI battle tactics told it that it couldn't defeat the
Kamikaze without inviting it's own destruction which went against
it's directive for self preservation, so it was trying to get them to
destroy one another instead. Then it recieved White Wolf's command
sequence from Sam. The short transfer of the command sequence gave it
a glimspe of all personalities currently running on the mainframe,
and that was enough for it to detect a presence that it's original
prime directive instructed it to seek out and destroy, Evil Phil.
It's AI logic routines blazed for several milliseconds while it
decided what to do about the conflicting sets of directives - Win
this battle, Self preservation and the command sequence directing it
to do something to a specific individual after the battle, and it's
prime directive of destroying this entity known as Evil Phil. The
Bion balls advanced AI routines quickly came to a conclusion, as
Armourzilla quickly jumped out the robot arena deciding to first deal
with command sequence while searching for the evil phil from there.
As it's blown logic circuits reasoned, it would come back and deal
with two bots later, and it could get in some more targets of
opportunity while it worked out battle scenarios for them. It bounded
it's way up towards the exit, and quickly made it way to parrots bar.
White Wolf was just ordering his mug of honeydew flavored soya drink
from Owen and putting away Sam in his vest pocket as the Armourzilla
dashed into the bar, ran up to Dren, and grabbed his shorts and gave
him a *fantastic wedgie* by pulling up his shorts over his head. Then
the Armourzilla's red eyes glowered happily because it clearly
enjoyed completing that directive, and then it quickly left the bar
scanning about for traces of the Evil Phil AI.
The huge hamster waited at the bar for Owen to fetch his drink, then
a grim looking Holly came up on a wall monitor and said,"Commander
White Wolf, there is a urgent message for you. I'm patching it
through to you now...", and Holly was replaced by a image of Chief
Science officer speaking, "Phil Febuggre to White Wolf. Sir, we have
a problem down at the lab and I could REALLY do with your help. It's
Evil Phil - he's escaped and is loose in the lab doing god know's
what in there. I think he's built himself a body and is a bit
upset....."
The overgrown hamster stiffened while all his fur stood up. While
speaking in a unheard of nervous voice, "Umm, Owen, change my order
to a pint of your 180 proof everclear, to go."
Owen gave him a questioning look and the hamster continued
shakily, "I know I haven't ordered any of the heavy stuff ever since
I became a hamster, but I'm going to need a real stiff drink to
deaden the pain, if Evil Phil's really loose!"