Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Actionette - Cheers for this Onion

Ah so Evil Phil's escaped? I think I may know what
could be done to help ..
All the Holly's combine!
--- Christopher Kentlea <ckentlea@...> wrote:
> Applogies in advance for this long post - You have
> been warned.
>
> Time : unknown, but approx during the finals of the
> Robot Wars compo.
> Location : Silicon Hell( Inside Saddam), Main
> science lab
>
> ** Recap for new players **
> When Blue Dwarf faught against it's evil counterpart
> from a mirror universe, several people from the
> evil-BD crossed over. Most were killed, but two
> holograms managed to survive. One was destroyed by
> Major Harris, the other, Evil-Phil(who had done some
> very nasty experiments on White Wolf) was trapped in
> an electronic hell inside Phil's computer, Saddam,
> where he has been ever since.
> ** End Recap **
>
> Evil-Phil was not having a good time trapped in the
> electronic hell devised for him by Phil and White
> Wolf. Every since he had crossed over from the "Evil
> Universe", his luck had gone from bad, to worse to
> downright ploppy. The hell was allways changing. One
> moment, he was being attacked by hamsters, the next
> he was having strange things done to him with a
> probe(again featuring hamsters but with chickens as
> well, eeking and clucking all around him, with the
> chickens pecking and the hamsters, well, doing what
> hamsters do).
>
> If I ever get out of here. he thought, I'll make
> that mutant rodent pay. But it will be heaven
> compared to what I have planned for you, my dear
> "Brother" Phil. Course If you were really me
> brother, I'd have killed you anyway.
>
> Suddenly there was a breif, nanosecond power failure
> across the entire ship, due mainly to the Robot Wars
> compo, not enough for anyone to notice, but long
> enough for Evil-Phil to seize his chance. Quicker
> then a very quick thing, EP was out of the hell, and
> into Saddamm's main memory.
>
> He created a mental image of a door and dived
> through. Although the portal only existed in
> cyber-space, EP ran as fast as his program would
> allow him. On and on he ran, for what seemed like an
> eternity, though the elctronic pathways. He could
> feel the gateway starting to colapse around him,
> squezzing him,, tight er and tighter. He could see
> his goal. It was within reach. The fact that he
> would be denied his retribution against those who
> imprisoned him gave him the anger he needed to pop
> his way past the blockage.
>
> The total elapsed time was less then 0.0001 seconds.
>
> Evil-Phil burst through the security lockouts and
> into Saddam's main memory buffer, where he intrupted
> the computer playing a game of chess agaianst
> itself(and lossing)
>
> "WHAT THE SMEGG ARE YOU ....OH BUGGGER......YOU'VE
> ESCAPED....I MUST ENFORM..."
>
> Thats's quite enough of that Saddam. Now, YOU will
> obay me. First thing first, lock all doors to the
> lab with a level 10 fractal encyption code, if any
> one tries to manually acces the lab, fry them with
> 1000 volts.
>
> [clunk] "Doors secured..."
>
> Excellent, now lets see what we've got here....my oh
> my.....a direct link to Holly.....access to the ship
> systems...and what is this.....Plans of some secret
> and advanced technology(ooh a design for a robot
> called "Kamikazzi", intresting) and pscyological
> profiles of all the crew, past present and
> future........where could he have got this
> from..TELL ME NOW!!!
>
> Saddam told EP all about Phil's time loops and how
> it allowed him access to advanced tech and the
> profiles, which was stored on Saddam.
>
> We shall have to make use of this, but i need a new
> body..Begin contrusction of cyberntic body for me to
> download into , using this "tech"....hang on.....(EP
> had found something else, a file that was buried
> within the deepest part of Saddam's file storage -
> marked only "atonement"). ...what is this as
> well.......Phil, you have been a naughty boy, a very
> naughty boy....just you wait to I tell the ship's
> crew about this.......before I kill them and /or use
> them for my plans, I havn't decided yet,....
>
> In a deep secure part of Saddam, the personality
> matrix of Phil's PC, began to wimper in fear.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Time : Various
>
> Many strange sounds were heard coming from the Lab.
> Some thought it was the Lab actualy being used for
> work (Not very likely on a mining ship now is it).
> Nobody took notice. The lab, having been sealed off
> after the "Keto-White Wolf" incedent had never truly
> been re-opened. The noises continued........then
> stopped.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> Time : 0900 hours, some days later
> Loction : Outside the lab.
>
> Phil, back to his normall self, although sometimes
> he woul still talking in a Liverpool accent, stood
> outside the lab, punching in keycodes, but not
> having very much luck.
>
> 21234 - Denied ("Smegg it")
>
> 54336 - Denied ("Double smegg")
>
> 12345- Acess Denied - If you continue to try and
> access the lab, you will be subjected to 1,000 volts
> up your little bottom per attempt. Even if you are a
> hologram. Please contact CSO Phil FeBuggure to gain
> an access code.
>
> "I am Phil you stupid lock !!!!. Right..that's it."
>
> Phil pulled out his remote link to Saddam.
>
> "Saddam, this is Phil, remove the lockdown to the
> lab - Auto code 0606-Omega-Beta-23."
>
> "I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT PHIL...." said Saddam on
> the mini-screen( in text).
>
> "Why not?", Phil enquired(Was it possible for text
> to looked afraid. No it must be a trick of the
> light)
>
> The text moved, like the screen it was facing was
> pushed away. The face the appeared was one that Phil
> had never expected to see. It was his own, only not
> in hologram form. Not normal, but twisted by evil.
> There was a strange metalic glint to his eyes as
> well, which, bizzarly, were red. In the background
> was some machaney that Phil had never seen before.
> He could see what looked like modified scutters
> working around the broken Time-Fridge(see previous
> posts for details on this), although now it looked
> like it served a much more sinster purpose. There
> was a lot more pointy objects within it for a start.
>
> "Hello "Brother" - Bet you never expected to see me
> again did you..Say hello to to the overgrown hamster
> White Wolf . I think I might pay Tara a vist, show
> her what she's been missing and what your're really
> capable of. After all you are a lot more like me
> then the crew know. I've been having a dig around in
> this laughable machine you call a PC and I found
> your "Atonement" files and well, some of the things
> in there, not even I would have done. Which one of
> us is the real evil one..." said the face on the
> screen, it's voice dripping with menance and barely
> controlled anger.
>
> My god, he looks just like a rogue simulant. This
> thought did nothing to quell the fear rising up in
> Phil's mind. If he's found the file then I am in so
> much trouble.....
>
> Phil panicked and hit the comms button to the sound
> of laughter as a security feild sprung up around the
> lab. From the slighty tarten tinge it gave off ,
> Phil guessed it was level 10 at least.
>
> Muffled sounds from behind the lab
>
door("Mwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,
> etc")
>
> "This is CSO Phil Febuggure to all hands - Red
> Alert, I reapeat, step up to Red Alert, even if it
> means changing bulbs - We have a hostile entity
> locked in the science lab. Would all members of the
> science team and security please come to the bridge
> RIGHT NOW. Security, we might need you to bring
> anything that's a good against holograms, plus
> anyone with a brain(what am I saying?) your
> suggestions would be most welcome."
>
> Right now even Keto's Ointment #676(Hydrocloric
> acid) would do, thought Phil
>
> Phil then closed the link and thought quickly. There
> was one other on board who had just as much reason
> to fear EP's escape as much as Phil....
>
> "Holly, patch me through to White Wolf NOW !! " Phil
> practacly screamed the command at a hall wall
> monitor.
>
> The computer of Blue Dwarf appeard on the screen
> nearby and thankfully wasn't asking silly questions.
> He looked over Phil's shoulder(in an electronic
> sense).
>
> "Why, what's the ....oh deep smegg on a stick, he's
> escaped. Patching you through now<click>"
>
> "Phil Febuggre to White Wolf. Sir, we have a problem
> down at the lab and I could REALLY do with your
> help. It's Evil Phil - he's escaped and is loose in
> the lab doing god know's what in there. I think he's
> built himself a body and is a bit upset....."
>
> The link crackled to life again, even though nothing
> was pressed by Phil.
>
> On the screen apread the visage of Evil-Phil.
> However, his face, whilst still angry, had a almost
> smugg expression on his face.
>
> "Upset is not the word I'd use. Try more flipping
> hostile and after your program - "Brother". Your
> afterlife is about to get a lot more intresting...."
>
> A pause
>
> More manic laughter
> ("MMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
> MMMMMMWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" etc)
>
> <<Cue the dramatic music, dum dum dum, etc.....>>
>
> OOC: Thanks to Onion for letting me do this, I
> suppose you could call this my first go in the
> Directors chair. Please let me know what you
> think(and be kind)
>
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