Actionette - Cheers for this Onion

Applogies in advance for this long post - You have been warned.
 
Time : unknown, but approx during the finals of the Robot Wars compo.
Location : Silicon Hell( Inside Saddam), Main science lab
 
**  Recap for new players  **
When Blue Dwarf faught against it's evil counterpart from a mirror universe, several people from the evil-BD crossed over. Most were killed, but two holograms managed to survive. One was destroyed by Major Harris, the other, Evil-Phil(who had done some very nasty experiments on White Wolf) was trapped in an electronic hell inside Phil's computer, Saddam, where he has been ever since.
** End Recap **
 
Evil-Phil was not having a good time trapped in the electronic hell devised for him by Phil and White Wolf. Every since he had crossed over from the "Evil Universe", his luck had gone from bad, to worse to downright ploppy. The hell was allways changing. One moment, he was being attacked by hamsters, the next he was having strange things done to him with a probe(again featuring hamsters but with chickens as well, eeking and clucking all around him, with the chickens pecking and the hamsters, well, doing what hamsters do).
 
If I ever get out of here. he thought, I'll make that mutant rodent pay. But it will be heaven compared to what I have planned for you, my dear "Brother" Phil. Course If you were really me brother, I'd have killed you anyway.
 
Suddenly there was a breif, nanosecond power failure across the entire ship, due mainly to the Robot Wars compo, not enough for anyone to notice, but long enough for Evil-Phil to seize his chance. Quicker then a very quick thing, EP was out of the hell, and into Saddamm's main memory.
 
He created a mental image of a door and dived through. Although the portal only existed in cyber-space, EP ran as fast as his program would allow him. On and on he ran, for what seemed like an eternity, though the elctronic pathways. He could feel the gateway starting to colapse around him, squezzing him,, tight er and tighter. He could see his goal. It was within reach. The fact that he would be denied his retribution against those who imprisoned him gave him the anger he needed to pop his way past the blockage.
 
The total elapsed time was less then 0.0001 seconds.
 
Evil-Phil burst through the security lockouts and into Saddam's main memory buffer, where he intrupted the computer playing a game of chess agaianst itself(and lossing)
 
"WHAT THE SMEGG ARE YOU ....OH BUGGGER......YOU'VE ESCAPED....I MUST ENFORM..."
 
Thats's quite enough of that Saddam. Now, YOU will obay me. First thing first, lock all doors to the lab with a level 10 fractal encyption code, if any one tries to manually acces the lab, fry them with 1000 volts.
 
[clunk] "Doors secured..."
 
Excellent, now lets see what we've got here....my oh my.....a direct link to Holly.....access to the ship systems...and what is this.....Plans of some secret and advanced technology(ooh a design for a robot called "Kamikazzi", intresting) and pscyological profiles of all the crew, past present and future........where could he have got this from..TELL ME NOW!!!
 
Saddam told EP all about Phil's time loops and how it allowed him access to advanced tech and the profiles, which was stored on Saddam.
 
We shall have to make use of this,  but i need a new body..Begin contrusction of cyberntic body for me to download into , using this "tech"....hang on.....(EP had found something else, a file that was buried within the deepest part of Saddam's file storage - marked only "atonement"). ...what is this as well.......Phil, you have been a naughty boy, a very naughty boy....just you wait to I tell the ship's crew about this.......before I kill them and /or use them for my plans, I havn't decided yet,....
 
In a deep secure part of Saddam, the personality matrix of Phil's PC, began to wimper in fear.
 
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Time : Various
 
Many strange sounds were heard coming from the Lab. Some thought it was the Lab actualy being used for work (Not very likely on a mining ship now is it). Nobody took notice. The lab, having been sealed off after the "Keto-White Wolf" incedent had never truly been re-opened. The noises continued........then stopped.
 
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Time : 0900 hours, some days later
Loction : Outside the lab.
 
Phil, back to his normall self, although sometimes he woul still talking in a Liverpool accent, stood outside the lab, punching in keycodes, but not having very much luck.
 
21234 - Denied ("Smegg it")
 
54336 - Denied ("Double smegg")
 
12345- Acess Denied - If you continue to try and access the lab, you will be subjected to 1,000 volts up your little bottom per attempt. Even if you are a hologram. Please contact CSO Phil FeBuggure to gain an access code.
 
"I am Phil you stupid lock !!!!. Right..that's it."
 
Phil pulled out his remote link to Saddam.
 
"Saddam, this is Phil, remove the lockdown to the lab - Auto code 0606-Omega-Beta-23."
 
"I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT PHIL...." said Saddam on the mini-screen( in text).
 
"Why not?", Phil enquired(Was it possible for text to looked afraid. No it must be a trick of the light)
 
The text moved, like the screen it was facing was pushed away. The face the appeared was one that Phil had never expected to see. It was his own, only not in hologram form. Not normal, but twisted by evil. There was a strange metalic glint to his eyes as well, which, bizzarly, were red. In the background was some machaney that Phil had never seen before. He could see what looked like modified scutters working around the broken Time-Fridge(see previous posts for details on this), although now it looked like it served a much more sinster purpose. There was a lot more pointy objects within it for a start.
 
"Hello "Brother" - Bet you never expected to see me again did you..Say hello to to the overgrown hamster White Wolf . I think I might pay Tara a vist, show her what she's been missing and what your're really capable of. After all you are a lot more like me then the crew know. I've been having a dig around in this laughable machine you call a PC and I found your "Atonement" files and well, some of the things in there, not even I would have done. Which one of us is the real evil one..." said the face on the screen, it's voice dripping with menance and barely controlled anger.
 
My god, he looks just like a rogue simulant. This thought did nothing to quell the fear rising up in Phil's mind. If he's found the file then I am in so much trouble.....
 
Phil panicked and hit the comms button to the sound of laughter as a security feild sprung up around the lab. From  the slighty tarten tinge it gave off , Phil guessed it was level 10 at least.
 
Muffled sounds from behind the lab door("Mwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, etc")
 
"This is CSO Phil Febuggure to all hands - Red Alert, I reapeat, step up to Red Alert, even if it means changing bulbs - We have a hostile entity locked in the science lab. Would all members of the science team and security please come to the bridge RIGHT NOW. Security, we might need you to bring anything that's a good against holograms, plus anyone with a brain(what am I saying?) your suggestions would be most welcome."
 
Right now even Keto's Ointment #676(Hydrocloric acid) would do, thought Phil
 
Phil then closed the link and thought quickly. There was one other on board who had just as much reason to fear EP's escape as much as Phil....
 
"Holly, patch me through to White Wolf NOW !! " Phil practacly screamed the command at a hall wall monitor.
 
The computer of Blue Dwarf appeard on the screen nearby and thankfully wasn't asking silly questions. He looked over Phil's shoulder(in an electronic sense).
 
"Why, what's the ....oh deep smegg on a stick, he's escaped. Patching you through now<click>"
 
"Phil Febuggre to White Wolf. Sir, we have a problem down at the lab and I could REALLY do with your help. It's Evil Phil - he's escaped and is loose in the lab doing god know's what in there. I think he's built himself a body and is a bit upset....."
 
The link crackled to life again, even though nothing was pressed by Phil.
 
On the screen apread the visage of Evil-Phil. However, his face, whilst still angry, had a almost smugg expression on his face.
 
"Upset is not the word I'd use. Try more flipping hostile and after your program - "Brother". Your afterlife is about to get a lot more intresting...."
 
A pause
 
More manic laughter ("MMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  MMMMMMWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" etc)
 
<<Cue the dramatic music, dum dum dum, etc.....>>
 
OOC: Thanks to Onion for letting me do this, I suppose you could call this my first go in the Directors chair. Please let me know what you think(and be kind)