[JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Coffey & Darts & Beer
Location : Parrotts
Time : After work(?)
Hazel Coffey had just finished beating yet another
crewmember at darts and was getting ready to beat
another when she noticed nobody else no longer wished
to play. Perhaps because they knew they would lose.
Perhaps because the crewman named "Gordo" who had been
next to play was under the table singing nursery
rhymes, hugging his mug.
"Well, it's no fun playing against incompetant drunks
either. Where's the challenge in that?" she muttered.
Gordo giggled in response. She had been hideously
bored for the past several months, all the way though
shoreleave on Earth, the real hallucinations (she
argued continually with the disembodied heads of Tinky
Winky and James Joyce), and Captain Cannon's demise.
The sole high points had been her promotion to Chief
Plastic Surgeon, her new Doc Marten boots with the
electro-massage soles, and her discovery of an
ointment of Dr. Keto's which was great for styling
hair into rasor sharp points.
Sipping her Coke, she started practicing hitting marks
in the triple ring, all in numerical order. Her mind
wandering off, she mulled over the new doctor who had
started work in the medibay ; Lawrence Trisees A.K.A.
William Shakespeare. He was clearly bonkers, from his
ruffled collar to his pointy toed boots. But despite
the apparent insanity, this "Shakespeare" appeared to
be a quite a dashing figure and clearly posessed some
dramatic talent. Maybe he'd even try to start a
theatre group on board. Now there would be something
Hazel would be interested in. Although she favoured
Beckett and Chekhov, she particularly liked the Bard's
more violent plays, such as "Julius Caesar", "Richard
III", and "Hamlet". Running around with pointy objects
shouting melodramatic proclaimations : now there was a
fun activity.
As she pondered these things, Hazel let a dart soar
off in the vague direction of the dartboard. Hitting
vaguely close to the dartboard, it pierced the earlobe
of a large, muscular male who had passed out, nailing
the assaulted lobe to the wall. He awoke with a grunt.
"Shite," whispered Hazel in a quiet squeak. She rushed
over to the injured crewman to inspect the damage.
"I'm medical crew, I can help." she said, hoping he
was too squiffy to notice she had been responsible.
"Oo-er, that stings!" he groaned. Hazel pulled a
multi-tool out of her jacket and used the pliers to
pull the dart out of the wall, then sprayed the man's
ear with some spray-skin.
"Good as new." she said.
"Wha' 'bout the hole? I don't wanna catch it on
nought, do I?" grumbled the man.
"Uh....well..."
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a large,
rhinestone encrusted earring someone had left in the
plastic surgery operating room. Popping it in the
large man's new pierced ear, she reflected that he
would've made Dame Edna proud.
"Oi, thanks!" said the newly decorated crewman, and
promptly fell asleep on the table. Hazel wisely
retreated from Parrotts and left to get some chicken
korma somewhere on the Promenade.
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