Ointmentator II : Mercutio

There was a loud hissing sound.
The containment field around the medibay shut down with a whirr,
and the doors slid silently open. A shaft of bright white light
shone from inside.
Out of the light, a figure stepped forth triumphantly, brandishing
a remote control. It's silhouette outlined in the doorway, it's
shadow spread across the opposing wall, the apparition spoke.
"Aha! Now our mighty construction art..."
The figure was interrupted from a loud cough from behind it. It
hesitated, and then continued.
"...*is* complete! Now shalt we..."
"Ahem."
"...*shall* we crush our enemies into tiny bitteth!"
"Ahem."
"*BITS*, damn your coughing!" snapped Shakespeare, turning to look
back into the medibay. Dr Keto stepped forwards.
"Hey, you wanted lessons," he protested, "So don't argue. Just
move the damn robot, okay?"
"Fine!" said Shakespeare, and violently shoved one lever forwards
on the control panel.
There was a roar from inside the medibay that echoed throughout the
corridor. Keto leapt to one side and Shakespeare stared, dumbstruck,
as a refridgerator with a huge gout of flame spreading out from
behind it accelerated through the doorway.
Ointmentator II: Mercutio was a triumph of medical engineering.
Its cuboid form was covered from head to toe in long, metal spikes,
out of the end of each pointed a tiny tube, linked up to several
dozen bottles inside it. The tracks, which before had been so
useless, were now supplemented with a 'borrowed' rocket booster that
could propel the creation at very high speeds.
Unfortunately, the 'high speeds' had been underestimated. Both
doctors realised this as the robot flew straight across the corridor
and smashed into the wall the other side, bouncing back and landing
on Shakespeare's foot.
As Keto listened to the strings of medieval curses, he considered
coughing, but then thought better of it.
"I think it needs a little tweaking," he admitted.