The Adventures of Dick Pornsak Part 3

Dick followed Zed out of the room. Smurf came floating behind, dripping tomato sauce on the carpet. Several of the patrons nudged each other and pointed in their direction and as the doors closed behind them Dick was sure he saw one of them taking a photograph of him.

"Look what is going on." he called after his new fury friend but Zed did not stop to answer. Instead he quickened his pace and broke into a light jog forcing Dick to follow suit.

"You did not tell me there would be running." he whined. "I would have limbered up, you know, prepared myself."

A snorting sound came from the direction of Smurf.

"I heard that." Dick called back over his shoulder. It was then he saw that they were being followed. Several aliens in rather official uniforms were slowly gaining on them. Dick also noted that they were carrying weapons.

"Who the hell are they?" he gasped.

Zed look back and cursed. "Do you have weapon?"

"Sorry I left it in my other pants." Dick quipped as Zed grabbed him and threw him down an adjoining corridor. He then pulled out and energy weapon of some sort and opened fire on their pursuers.

There were some sharp cries and a thud and then they began to return fire. Zed seemed to know what he was doing because a few moments later there were to more cries, followed by two more thuds and the battle was done.

"Quick in here." Zed pointed towards a door on the opposite side of the corridor. The words broom closet were etched in a plate above the frame. Zed slammed the door shut after them and used a small device to lock it.

"Now look here, I want to know what the hell is going..." Dick began and to his complete surprise Zed reached behind his own head and with a sharp zipping sound pulled it off.

"Aaargh wha... what? what the hell?" Dick saw now that the Zed head was simply an elaborate alien mask and the person beneath was in fact a rather cute human female.

"Dick Pornsak I have been sent from the future to save your life. Hidden within your underpants is the key to humanities survival."

"Well that is a first." Smurf commented from above.

"Well I erm... you mean my penis will save the human race? Kind of like an adam and eve type thing."

The woman looked taken aback, confused and angry all at the same time. He did not see the slap coming, but he felt it. She shook her head.

"So the history books are correct, you are in fact an idiot."

"That's a little harsh." he replied holding his red cheek.

"I was talking about the localised quantum field generator you have built into you underpants." She said at last, "Not your.... penis. History has nothing what so ever to say about your penis."

Smurf was rolling around in the air laughing.

"To think I would travel back in time to retrieve your penis." she shook her head.

"Ok, ok I think we can all stop saying the word penis now." Dick protested.

"Penis!" Smurf gave a robotic screech from above just as someone tried to open the door.