Hole Number One

"Is there an actual pilot on their team?" Yakekeekekek asked, grinning madly.

"He who circled the globe with a single swing, yes. There are two qualified pilots among them."

"One of them must be the copilot. If that's the best they can fly, then the worst pilot on their records must be hugely inept. There is no way they can win the space course when it's ready. Tell me about the other members of their team."

"Yes, oh magnificent one, who finished a course in only 17 swings. You already know of their worst pilot ever, who failed the pilot's test no less than thirty times. There's also a member of the clergy, who therefore has no scientific knowledge. There's also an engineer that got promoted to a desk job to stop him from breaking anything..."

Meanwhile...
<snip>
"Ladies, gentlemen," Jay said. "We have arrived."
</snip>

"So, how do you think we all got chosen for this?" Jade asked, standing up from her chair.

"The captain told me that I got picked because my pilot record is the worst we have. Maybe they've specifically chosen us because we're the worst on record?" Jay responded.

"Well, aren't they in for a surprise." Cass said, with a hint of sarcasm.

The group left the ship, and stepped out onto the lawn of a golf resort.

"His most Illustriousness, the Bunker Badass, He whose ball lies closest to the hole is obliged to welcome you." said Waikey, aide to the High Golfer.

Yakekeekekek raised his arms, and there was silence. Not that anyone was talking before that point, but even the rustling in the trees stopped for him.

"You have been called here to play for your crimes. You destroyed our most powerful ball return, and now we have no recourse but to challenge you to Golf. Our match will be by the rules. Our match will be challenging," he began, and a short pause as the trees rustled momentarily. "Our match will be eighteen holes. Ten on land, and Eight in space. Most importantly, our match will be deadly, for if you should fail, then you will die."
Yakekeekekek then turned away, and started moving down the steps towards a sign that marked the first tee-point.

"His most high excellency, driver for whom a Birdie is a bad hole, has spoken. The game begins immediately. Follow, and take your places." Waikey said, and followed, grabbing a bag of golf clubs as he walked.

"well.. I guess we're playing now..." Jay said.

"Who's up first?" Cass asked, glancing over the team.

"I'll take the first shot."

<Tag. Who just volunteered to take the first?>