Roody Poo Candy Asses

Cass began her dance, her eyes scanning the front rows of the audience for the prince as she seductively twisted and twirled the fans around her.
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Little did she know that Lady Evelina was in the audience after her maid provided her with two tickets. Normally Evelina was not into burlesque shows but went anyway hoping to find some of the other crew members since it was a large audience. Evelina was dressed in a very nice dress with expensive jewelry on since she was now a Lady of royalty and famous lingerie designer. As she saw Cass come out on stage she dropped her jaw and was slightly relieved as she watched her performance. Though she didn't want to admit it publicly she was a bit jealous of Cass's seductive moves and studied them as best as she could hoping to use them on Jaxx when they could be reunited again.

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"Raiders!" a ship hand yelled as a klaxon suddenly blared and the air was rent by the whistle of incoming shells; the audience immediately erupting into panic as detonations shuddered through the ship from several impacts near the bow.
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Evelina panicked as the sound of gunfire and screams filled the air. She watched helplessly as she was shoved aside by the cowardly men trying to save themselves. As she struggled to keep from being run over by the frightened pompous men around her she began to have a panic attack in her chair. Her heart was beating so fast it was about to explode from her chest as she was shaking in a cold sweat. Evelina cringed as she slowly curled up into a ball as her mind drifted off.

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Firing another volley of shells, the raiders swooped in low, their engines just audible above the screams of the panicking audience.
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As Evelina was having a panic attack the Archiver weapon on her leg again quickly took the form of Mecha Jaxx (a cyborg version of Jaxx) in a tuxedo this time. She was catatonic as he covered her to protect her from the bullets strafing by. His back was riddled with bullet holes as he stood up. Then he looked at Evelina who was trembling and held his hand out to her and talked in a cold voice.

Mecha Jaxx: Come with me if you want to live...Evebabe.

Evelina trembled as she reached out to Mecha Jaxx. Then he picked her up and scanned the area for an escape route. As he looked at the main exits his scanners showed:

Scanning........Species identified as humans......males.....cowards......other wise known as Roody Poo Candy Asses. Main exit blocked by Roody Poo Candy Asses. Searching for alternative route. Back stage access available.

Mecha Jaxx carried the trembling Evelina and made a run for the stage to take cover from the next volley of shells that tore through the seats. As Mecha Jaxx made it to the stage he ran passed a half naked Cass who was trying to go back stage. For a brief second he stopped and looked at Cass and scanned her as he saw she was packing a weapon.

Mecha Jaxx in a cold voice: You have been identified as Cassandra Jones aka Cass and ally to Evelina Stone. Come with me if you want to live.

Cass rolled her eyes up at Mecha Jaxx as she was about to say something derogatory till she saw several ropes danging from above the chairs as several robotic looking men slid down them. The men looked like they were leftovers from a steam punk apocalyptic movie. Some of them were missing limbs, eyes and a mouth that were replaced by clockwork machines that resembled body parts. They quickly pulled out their large fire arms and began looking around as they began shooting at the men still panicking to escape from the main exits. Screams filled the air as their bodies were hosed by bullets from the mechanical pirates. The gun fire quickly got the attention of Mecha Jaxx and Jade who came to see Cass.

Jade: (Seeing Mecha Jaxx)You again? (Seeing the pirates) For the love of all humanity.

Mecha Jaxx: Dr Jade Black ally.

Cass: We need to go.....now.

Mecha Jaxx: Agreed. We need weapons and a defensive zone to protect you all from incoming fire.

Cass: Arrrrghhhh! This way now!

Cass ran backstage and grabbed a coat and some clothes as she headed out the back exit followed by Jade and Mecha Jaxx who was still caring the catatonic Evelina. As they made their way through the back they found themselves cutting through the storage rooms and then the kitchen. Just by luck they ran into Jamie who coming from the opposite direction they were heading.

As Jamie was running right for them he waved his hands at them.

Jamie: WRONG WAY! Turn around! Turn around!

Cass stopped as saw pirates were entering behind Jamie and quickly turned around to run back with the storage rooms. She then stopped again as she saw pirates through the window of the doors to the storage rooms. As she looked to find a different route Mecha Jaxx scanned the area as Jamie caught up to them and saw a freezer next to them. He then looked at Jamie.

Mecha Jaxx: Jamie Eastlick ally. Take Evebabe and hide there (pointing at the freezer) I will hold them off.

Seeing no other option Cass growled as she tightened her coat and opened the freezer door and pulled Jade inside as she gestured to Jamie who followed her. After they were hiding in the freezer Mecha Jaxx scanned the area as he saw the pirates killing the staff in terrible ways.

Scanning........Species identified as humans......males.....modified with clockwork cybernetics......other wise known as Diesel Punk Roody Poo Candy Asses. Main exits blocked by Diesel Punk Roody Poo Candy Asses. Searching for alternative solutions......Only solution disassemble immediate threats. Searching for weapons.......possible weapons iron skillets.......very hard with bludgeon impact.

Mecha Jaxx grabbed to large iron skillets that were still on the stove and cooking some kind of meat and vegetables. With a slight grin he swung the hot food out of the skillets at the closest pirate's face giving him a scalding entree to go. Then Mecha Jaxx began bludgeoning the pirates with the iron skillets as he was absorbing the rounds of bullets into his body. It wasn't long before Mecha Jaxx was riddled with holes as he was filling the room with the sound screaming pirates.

Cass and the others wondered how much time they had till Mecha Jaxx won or the pirates would get them as she made Jamie look the other way while she got dressed. Jamie thought about waking up Evelina till Jade said it would be a bad idea since she is subconsciously controlling Mecha Jaxx.

TAG What now? Where is everyone else?