Oh SMEG!

<Snip>
“Okay” Cass held up a hand to count off on her fingers “We need horses, weapons, clothing and any equipment that we can use in siege or guerrilla warfare” she looked between the Dwarfers all sat around the table “South’s fancy credit card isn’t going to work out here, so we’re going to have to get creative

“For what?” Jay asked.
The group turned to see Jay stood there, in a long, light brown duster that reached his ankles and a dust colored Stetson on his head, twirling a revolver on his finger.
<SNIP>

After being reunited with Jay, Cass looked like she just met an angel from the heavens, before she quickly regained her composure and filled Jay in on the current events. After hearing what he missed Jay thinks getting involved in the Alamo is a great idea since the plan is to mess with major events after all. Cass finds herself at a loosing situation and tells the others to start looking for additional supplies while she and Jay work on a plan. Seeing that Cass wanted to be alone with Jay the others got up and headed off into different directions.

As Evelina looked around she saw Dr. Brown at the bar starring at a shot of whisky. Seeing him a potential resource for the mission she flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked towards him. As she made her way to the bar she ignored the perverted stares and whistles of the remaining cowboys in the room. Lucky for her many had already left to get ready to leave to the Alamo. As she approached Dr. Brown she saw he was in deep thought so she ordered a shot of whisky. The bar tender smiled as he served her a strong shot hoping to see her tipsy real soon.

Evelina looked at the shot, drank it and smirked as she said, "Wow this stuff is so much weaker than the stuff back at home."

Dr. Brown looked at her and said, "Really? I don't know its still pretty strong where I am from, maybe even stronger.

She raised her glass and said, "Barkeep another please."

She smiled and said, "So you were a bit insistent we all head towards the Alamo huh? Any particular reason?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at her with sadness as he said, "Well to be honest I was hoping to be of help since you said you had to mess up time. I mean the Alamo was a big historical event and just changing that could create a huge butterfly effect. I figured if I help you all out you could get me out of here since I am stuck here till I die since I don't have a nearby Radioshack to get any spare parts for my time machine."

She looked at him confused, "Radioshack? What is that?

He looked disappointed and said, "Its an electronic supply shop in the late 1980s. I guess they are a little before your time huh."

She nodded and said, "Yeah I guess so. We use JMC parts in my time."

He nodded and said, "Look sweetheart I am at the end of my rope here and I need to get out of this hell hole. If it will help get us out of here you can use my time machine for spare parts. I just don't want to die in this god forsaken place."

She smirked and nodded as she said, "Yeah I can understand that. Then lets drink to working together."

They raised their glasses together and clinked them before they drank them in one gulp. Then he looked at her with a happy smiled before he passed out in her arms.

She looked at the barkeep and asked, "What did you give him?"

The barkeep looked shocked as he said, "That was his first shot ever. Normally he just orders it and stares at it for an hour."

She rolled up her eyes and mutters, "Oh man he must be a light weight drinker."

She looked around and saw Jamie who was watching her from a table in the back still smirking.

She tried to smile as she asked, "A little help here?"

He chuckled as he got up and helped her carry the drunken Doctor to the smithy business across the street. Lucky for them the Doctor was not to heavy and his business was not to far from the saloon. After they carried him to his cot and laid him down they looked at him as he had a goofy grin on his face.

Jamie said, "Stay with him while I check the place over."

The Doctor looked happy till something began moving in his stomach which caused the Doctor to make a painful face. As Evelina watched the movement in the Doctor's stomach she flashed back to all the scary movies in her video collection like Alien, Pod People, and Spaceballs. She had a bad feeling as she saw the movement heading towards the throat of the Doctor.

She said, "Ummmm......Jamie can you come over here?"

He asked, "What is it Eve?"

She said with urgency, "Please I think there is something in the Doctor's stomach."

He quickly ran to her side in time to see something was indeed coming out of the Doctor's mouth.

As the twelve inch tall parasite moved up to the neck it's little hands came out of the mouth and pried open the Doctor's mouth as it squeezed itself halfway out with its back facing Evelina and Jamie. The parasite seemed to be stuck as it grumbled.

The parasite muttered in a munchkins voice, "Stupid human! Are you trying to kill me? I hate alcohol! It burns and makes my arse all swollen! I can't believe Brittany is making us travel this way just to find some stupid humans and GELFs. Arrrrghhhh! I'm stuck! You stupid human when this is over I'm gonna revive you and eat your insides! Arrgh I need to get out of your stupid mouth so I can tell Brittany I found the smegheads."

Suddenly the parasite felt a metal clamp around his neck and the sound of a gun clicking. As it grabbed the metal tongs and looked behind it it saw a very cross Evelina and Jamie staring at it. Jamie was holding the blacksmith tongs tightly as he clamped down on the neck of the parasite while Evelina pointed her MACO pistol at the face of the parasite.

The parasite tried to smile and said, "Oh Smeg."

Evelina said, "So you used the Doctor to hunt us down huh? I take it there are more of you scattered all over time?"

The parasite smirked as he said, "That's right sweet cheeks. Its just a matter of time before Brittany finds you."

Evelina sighed and lowered her pistol half way, "Oh so I guess its to late for us then since you told her where we are huh?"

The parasite felt smug as he grinned and said, "Not yet but once I activate the homing beacon on that black box over there your arses are grass sweet cheeks."

Jamie looked over to see the black box sitting on the shelf as he smiled and asked, "That black box?"

Parasite quickly realized his mistake as felt his confidence soon faded realizing he gave away to much information during his bragging session. As he struggled to free himself from Jamie's strong grip he soon realized he was smegged.

Trying to find a way to get to the box he looked at Evelina and said, "You think that peashooter will kill me? Please the guns of today are weak and after you shoot me I will just regenerate."

Evelina smirked as she aimed the gun at the parasite's head and said, "Too bad for you this is my husband's gun. You may know him as the sharkman, but I call we call him Jaxx."

The parasite looked at the rather large menacing pistol and soon realized she was not bluffing. He remembered Brittany's warning to avoid getting hit by the MACO firearms since they used shockwave ammo that was designed to overload any biological as well as mechanical nervous system along with the intense damage it did. Since the round shut down the nervous system his organs would stop functioning and his regenerative abilities would cease as well. Feeling a sense of doom he tried to negotiate for his life.

The parasite said, "Wait can't we talk about this?"

Evelina asked, "Well Jamie? What do you think?"

Jamie looked seriously at it and said, "Shoot the smegging thing before it gets tries to trick us."

Evelina smirked as she said, "Only my husband can call me sweet cheeks."

BOOOM!

Evelina shot the parasite and splattered its head along the wall. Jamie then pulled the tongs away from the corpse.

She holstered her pistol as she made sure the parasite was indeed dead before she and Jamie began to look around. She quickly found a pile of blankets covering some haystacks. After removing the blankets and looked behind the haystacks she found the time traveling car the Doctor mentioned earlier.

Then Jamie went to retrieve the black box with the tongs and looked it over as he said, "We need to get Jay and Cass over here."

Evelina nodded as she ran off to fetch Jay and Cass.

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