Cake.....with a side of....NARCOTICS!

"I disagree, we could probably whip something up in about half an hour and I doesn't everybody like a cake?" Brett said from the direction Gavin presumed the kitchen was, making a mental note to investigate the ship fully after this he was distracted by some sort of electrical disturbance. He couldn't see it but it definitely had the same feeling like the time he had accidently taken the fuse-box apart in his apartment "Uh guys..." he started to say

"A cake sounds like a brilliant idea, and if things go wrong we could probably sell it too them for a few hundred dollars" Superior interrupted

"We can't go in ask them for some land and then when they disagree, offer to sell them a cake" Dr Artemis chimed in.

Then it hit him (Artie, that is).

"Wait....WAIT!" he said.

"What if we were to, say, use narcotics to make the Huzzards more...err...pliable?"

"Nar...Narcotics? Wait, you wanna freaking drug them? That sounds utterly hilarious" Gavin chimed in.

"Artemis, I've heard some insane suggestions from you since that Chicken Soup machine melted you out of that ice block, but for the love of the gods man, narcotics?" Jay said, flabbergasted, but intrigued.

"I am a chemist, Mr. Chrysler, I could whip something up in the lab that could make them more suggestive, making them as pliable as clay. We could use this cake everyone has been talking about as a delivery device....." Artemis pondered. "....it'd be like ant bait! We talk the tribal leaders into eating it, then the other Alpha lizards get in on it, and then everyone gets into it....down to the Omegas. Next thing you know they're so elated and bubbly they agree to anything we suggest! Additionally, it will keep them busy while Superior scopes out the cargo bay. They'll be so bombed they won't remember he was ever there!"

"That...might actually work" South said, mulling it over. Giggling at the imaginary sight of lizards bombed off their collective ass.

"Cooking with narcotics, you say? That would be quite the challenge. I'm up for it" Brett said, thinking of a recipe that could mask the chemically taste of drugs.

"Alright Artemis, what drug did you have in mind?"

"Methylenedioxy-Methamphetamine, MDMA, or Ecstasy. I've actually made it before and..." Artemis remember that he was speaking to the ship's captain. "...eh, it doesn't matter anymore, the Space Corps can't throw me in jail consider they no longer exist....sold it quite a few times while we were in port. The dock workers were pretty willing to pay whatever I charged"

"Wow" Jay said, shaking his head.

"How else do you think I paid for all the illegal experiments? The pennies that the JMC paid me? Hah! When you've got a PhD in chemistry and drug addled dockers, you can pretty much fund anything"

"So...why MDMA?"

"Because it's what I like to call a 'social drug', it inspires increased sociability, euphoria, and its Entactogenic effects would make them pliable. They'll have more empathy and a larger feeling of closeness to the rodents, they'll agree to anything! Although it might also make them really really horny, so we'll have to contend with that. I recommend bringing minor tranquilizers just in case it's aggressive horniness"

"Alright, make the Molly, and put it in the cake, it can be a backup plan just in case the first round of the negotiations don't go well. But for the love of the gods Artemis please use your judgement, don't kill them or drive them insane because either will likely start a war we won't win. But is there anything you can do to make it seem like they weren't actually drugged?"

"I can add a few other Psychoactive drugs that will do trick, we used to do the same thing to Pharmaceutical subjects back at Charon. After that whole "Zombie Plague" thing they suspended our testing license and we had to be creative with it"

"Alright, get to it"

"I might need a hand, the Missus is home-schooling the children while the rodents have the school closed down. Anyone want to make MDMA?"

<tag>
Only tagged those mentioned in the post because I lost track of who is where, sorry!

So, drugging the cake with MDMA will make the lizards more pliable, but MDMA also makes them hallucinate and will make them horny. It'll be pretty damn fun to drug the huzzards, especially if the MDMA has...unforseen effects (maybe they take to raving up and down the ship?) I imagine masking the taste of drugs in a cake would be a challenge for Brett, is he up to the task? (I assume so, being a master chef and all ; )

Additionally, the drugged huzzards won't be able to react when Superior goes to check out the cargo.

Finally, who wants to play Jesse Pinkman for Artemis?