Fast Food

<snip>
“I’m saying that you can stick your salty explosion up your arse” Chutney snarled, with a sudden hard edge to his voice “Ferrets are carnivores, so it’ll be Brett burgers for us tonight!” he turned to nod to two of the ferrets flanking him “Branston, Piccalilli – Get him!”</snip>

‘I hate it here.’ Brett thought as he ran through the shanty town in the now unrecognizable promenade. He heard the angry chittering of the ferretmen behind him, probably none too happy about being the recipient of a face-full of kelp being kicked into their eyes.

He ran past a few surprised families of mutated (evolved?) rats, ferrets, bats, and a capybara surrounded by white mice clad in metal bikinis. Having not had his mind freeze at THAT sight and apologizing for crashing through a few kitchens or bathrooms, it was hard to tell he yelled out to Holly.

“HOLLY!”

“Hmm? Yes Brett?”

“I need a way off of the promenade. *pant, pant* Big ferrets, *pant, pant* trying to eat me!”

“Oh dear, you’ve had quite a day.”

“HOLLY!”

“Can you not get back to the service lift?”

“Not right now, where are the…”

A ferretman, he couldn’t tell which one, (for a moment he wondered if that made him racist) leaped at him from a low rooftop. Brett ripped off his apron and flung it in desperation at the rodent. It suitably covered it’s face as Brett dove out of the way. The ferrets were fast, but hunger seemed to have weakened them for his assailant groaned and was slow in getting up from the junk it had landed in. Brett grabbed an errant pan and cracked the life-form over the head.

Brett wasn’t a superhero, but due to a structured diet and moderate regular exercise he was not in bad shape. Still, the wet clothes were slowing him down and he was rather tired from the “voyage to the bottom of the hanger” adventure he had taken. He looked around for his other pursuer.

“Don’t move.” He heard a voice chitter behind him and felt a rather sharp object nudge him in his back.

“Smeg.”

<continued>