Inner Turmoil

<SNIP>
“WHAT?” he yelled at none of them in particular. The rodents quickly looked away and went back to what they were doing.
“There it is” Thought Plisken, as Jay slid down the nearby wall into a heap on the floor, tears streaking down his cheeks.
“….why…Plisken.” he said weakly. “Why did they have to take her from me…”
He didn’t get long to ponder it, as the two burly hamsters who served as security in Parrotts lumbered over, and grabbed Jay, dragging him out of the door and tossing him out on to the promenade.
It was a few hours later, when Jamie found Jay. He’d opened a maintenance panel, to fix a power conduit, and there he was. Slumped against the wall inside the space (that really should have been much much too small for a full grown adult male to fit comfortably inside), clutching a now empty bottle of…something…he woke him gently. “Jay…you ok?”
Jay came round slowly, and blearily gazed up at Jamie.
“I will be” he slurred. “When I’ve put things right…”
<SNIP>

Evelina had been giving Jamie a hand to keep her mind busy or she feared she might burst into tears again. She couldn’t bear to watch Jaxx feel sorry for himself anymore. To make things worse she feared being in a skutter body to long would eventually numb his feelings all together. Evelina watched as Jamie woke the drunken Jay up. It was hard to watch Jay in this state of mind as well. Evelina had always feared she would loose Jaxx in a similar way, especially when she thought he had died more than once. It’s a pain she kept to herself because she feared the others wouldn’t care. However watching Jay in the same state of mind reminded her of her past experience. She wanted to say something to Jay but she was unable to speak her words. Because deep down inside Evelina knew it wasn’t fair that Jaxx came back all those times and Katrina didn’t. The pain of loosing someone precious was the same for humans or GELFs and Evelina knew that pain all to well. As Jay was trying to figure out where he was, Jamie was helping him get out of the cubbyhole he crawled into.

<SNIP>
The computer blipped offscreen, and the loud show went quiet.
"Who and what is it, and why must you harsh my proverbial mellow?" Jaxx called.
"It's Molly. I wanted to ask you about the stuff that happened while you guys were gone." she answered.
Jaxx sighed.
"Alright, one sec." Jaxx said. He was heard skutting to the door, until a brief thunk.
"Huh. I thought the door opened automatically. Can't reach the buttons-- can you open it?" Jaxx called.
"Its locked on this end." she said.
"But I never locked it..." Jaxx said, with growing unease. He reached for the buttons as best he could, being a skutter. Eventually, he hit one.
"Okay." he said. "Got the button. Should be unlocked. Come on in."
"Still locked." Molly responded.
"What the smeg is going on? Holly!" Jaxx yelled.
"What?" Holly asked. "You want me to put the show back on?"
"No- Well, yes- but why is my door locked?" Jaxx asked.
"What, didn't they tell ya? You're in isolation, mate." Holly answered.
<SNIP>

Jaxx asked in his Vader voice, “So who like who told you to box me in bro?” Holly replied, “That would be Jay, lil dude.” Jaxx looked at the locked door for a minute before replying in his Vader voice, “Oh……... I see. So like it is my fault then.” Molly asked, “What’s your fault?” Jaxx gave a Vader like sigh before he replied, “It’s like my fault Mrs. C is dead.” Molly was shocked by Jaxx’s answer as she paused before asking, “How is it your fault? What did you do Jaxx?” Jaxx replied, “I totally need to be away from everyone.” Molly asked, “Why what’s going on Jaxx talk to me?” Jaxx replied, “I like have to do this alone.” Molly yelled, “Do what alone, watch the Tele for ever?” Jaxx replied, “no.” Molly yelled, “Then what? What is it?”

Jaxx replied, “I’m…not.” Molly yelled, “Not what?” Jaxx replied, “I’m not strong enough.” Molly yelled, “So moping around will make you stronger?” Jaxx replied, “Yes!…I mean no.” Molly yelled, “Is this some kind of MACO thing to make you stronger?” Jaxx replied, “I can’t” Molly yelled, “Can’t what?” Jaxx replied, “I like can’t protect everyone!……I’m like not strong enough.” Molly paused as she listened to the strain in Jaxx’s voice. Jaxx said, “I totally tried so hard. I even trained in a most harsh Calamar fashion, but it wasn’t enough. Now like cause I failed, Goggles got hurt and Mrs. C is dead.” Molly replied, “Jaxx you can’t blame yourself.” Jaxx replied, “I like don’t have to Molly……Jay does.” Molly sighed as she tried to think of something to say. Jaxx left the door and went back to the video screen and said, “Holly dude can you like turn my show back on? I like need to be alone and stuff.” Holly looked at the pitiful skutter and sighed, “Sure thing lil dude.” It wasn’t long before the loud sounds of “GILLIGAN! COME BACK HERE! NO SKIPPER!” echoed in the room. Molly watched the door for awhile as she tried to make sense of the situation. Perhaps someone else would have some answers.

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