Fatherhood

Herbie's eyes dilated suddenly, his drink was in his view. Thousands of visions of children running around appeared.
"A father?" Herbie sipped his cocktail down.

"Yes, a father" Artie said.

"Well one thing I can tell you, I never could do in my life is have kids. I mean you have to worry about making sure they haven't had a shit somewhere or something?" Herbie shook his head.

Artemis took one long look at Herbie. "Are you already drunk?" Pritchard asked.

"Just a little bit" Herbie smiled. The bartender looked at him for a short period and then shook his head, then looked back to an empty glass.

"Well I guess I should welcome you on the ship, so welcome aboard. Its nothing special but its home; I suppose" Artemis said.

"I hope you all accept me on board, yeah I ain't know here but every little helps" Herbie smiled. "Another one please bartender" Herbie slid his glass over.

"Yeah whatever" the bartender replied.

"So where is home Columbus, I don't think we have ever properly been introduced" Artemis asked.

"Home. Well home was originally a Martian ghost town that went by the name of Little Big Arizona, it turned out to actually be an experiment or something like that where all I was nothing more than a hamster-" Columbus began.

"Watch it! Its Guinea Pig not hamster" the bartender shook his head.

"Yeah, so anyway it was a big experiment. It didn't really matter anyway because when I was around thirteen or fourteen I got sent to my aunt who was meant to teach me how to act and behave. Be a good citizen as my parents would say. Only thing my dad was meant to send me to his brother Christopher but being the idiot he was sent me to his space pirate sister Christine. I loved my good old aunt Christine until one day I threw her overboard and took her ship for myself. But enough about that, when I was twenty three I took early retirement and began adventuring. Then one day I ended up in Jerusalem and that is where you guys came in and then there was that prison and now this ship?" Columbus continued.

"Well I would be lying if I said that was one of the most important back stories I have heard in my life" Artemis said.

"Ain't you a comedian. Anyway I better be off and get used to my room, see you later and good luck with fatherhood and all that" Columbus picked himself up and approached the door.

"Goodbye" Artemis looked back down to the bar. Suddenly Herbie stopped at the doorway.

"By the way if I can give you any advice. Not that I am a father or anything if you have a kid and he slash she is a little cheek remember to give them a second chance and not accidentally ship them to an aunt a couple of light years across the galaxy" Herbie explained.

"I will Herbie, I will" Artemis watched the man dressed in red walk outside.

TAG: Anybody and everybody?