Zero Zero Thirty

<snip>
He heard a scream. Phi was white as a sheet seeing a morgue drawer sliding open on it’s own and a man climbing out.
“Phi! It’s me! Listen…Artie….” He paused mid-sentence. On the table lay Katrina.
Phi looked between Jay and Kat’s body.
“Plisken brought her back…they arrived a few days ago…we…..we wondered where you’d got to.”…
“…Artie needs help…drawer next to mine…” Jay said weakly, before walking out.
<snip/>

Phi dragged Artemis to the backup examination table and laid him down.

"What happened to you?" she said, examining the gruesome wound.
"Shot..." Artemis said, still trying to get a grip on where he was. He recognized Phi, and figured he must be back on Blue Dwarf. Perfect, he thought.

"I don't know what we can do, the damage is too severe, I...." Phi said, Artemis held up his hand to stop her.

"There's....a way....tell The Missus 'Zero Zero Thirty', she'll know what it means. It's the only way" Artemis said before collapsing back onto the bed.

Phi ran out of the room, she had to get to the ISL and fast.

Innovative Sciences Lab

The Missus had been worrying about the whereabouts of her husband since the other Dwarfers had returned several days prior. However, she was certain that he would find a way home. He was locked in a prison that specialized in time criminals, there had to be a spare time drive lying around somewhere.

She went around the lab, humming and cleaning equipment in anticipation for Artemis' return.

Phi sprinted into the lab, scaring the daylights out of the skutter.

"Artemis...he's in trouble..." Phi heaved, out of breath.

The Missus zipped over to Phi and bombarded her with questions in Skut-Speak.

"He said..Zero Zero Thirty.."

The Missus looked around the lab, and disappeared behind a veil of cargo netting in the back. She came back out dragging a large metal box. It bore the insignias of the Guild of Science and Charon Labs. Spray-painted on the top was "CHARON LABS. PROJECT ILIAD. A. K. PRITCHARD"

"What's ILIAD?" asked Phi. The Missus replied in Skut-Speak, only the gist of which Phi could understand. "Alright, let's just get this to the morgue" The Missus yelped.
"No! No, he's alive!"

The Morgue

Phi and The Missus dragged the box into the room. The Missus punched in the keycode (being one of the only two people who knew it). The box opened, a bluish fog rolled out as an odd looking robot was lifted out.

The robot came to life and scanned the room, it zipped over to Artemis. The robot elevated the bed so that he was sitting up.

"BEGIN PROCEDURE" it said. The robot latched onto Artemis' head with a large metal tube. The tank filled with blue liquid, there were a few strange sounds, and a brain floated into the robot. A few more sounds and the robot released Artemis' head.

The three monitors on the robot displayed a boot screen, a starup chime was played as the robot came to life The robot hovered over the body, and looked around.

"Well, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. But thanks to that cocksucker Lindstrom...." the robot said.

"Artemis?" Phi asked.

The Missus rushed over to the robot, the two embraced.

"Yes, Ms. Moreau. You are looking at Charon Labs' solution to indefinite life after death, a co-creation of mine and Dr. Cornelius Brian's" Replied the newly robotized Artemis.
"So, this is ILIAD?" She asked.
"Yes, ILIAD is an acronym for Infinite LIfe sustAinment Device, or..this robot that my brain has been placed in"

"Space Corps Directive Zero Zero Thirty, in order to keep up maximum efficiency all Guild Scientists that become physically unable to continue their work are to be placed in an ILIAD unit. One of the more 'con-tro-ver-see-al' directives, a bit outdated with hard-light holograms and all" Holly added. "Very smashing if I do say so meself, Artie"

"So this was the guild's answer to holograms not being able to touch objects?" Phi asked.
"Yes, Hard-Light holograms made the ILIAD's obsolete but the Space Corps was to stingy to replace them. Or maybe they did, I don't know, I stole mine when I quit" Artemis said. "So...what do we do with my body?" he said.

"Well, we can't treat the wounds, they're too severe. The best we can do is store it until we find the means to fix it" Phi said.

"Hmm...I suppose there are worse things than being stuck in a robot body. I no longer suffer from most ailments, I can levitate, I don't need to use the bathroom...but...eh, I'll live. Come dear, I may be like this for a while, we have some reorganizing to do"

Artie and The Missus left. Phi had the Skutters put Artemis' old body in storage and went back to what she was doing before Jay scared her half to death.

<tag>

Artemis is now inhabiting an ILIAD unit. He's pretty much stuck with it.