Do You Believe in Heavy Metal [FPF]

I'm not quite sure where it all went wrong, to be quite honest. All I remember is that we came back in time to save Ms Jones, and that The Missus wanted me to take plenty of photos (feeling left out since I won't allow her to come along with me). Somehow I've been involved in historical events, paradoxes, and numerous standoffs with the 21st century Yakuza. But then again, I've kind of grown used to this. My entire life has been nothing but a surfeit of strange occurrences, death, paradoxes, scientific nightmares, and of course....the vast reaches of space. Something about this trip feels...different...but then I remember, the blasted STCP drugged me with some sort of neurotoxin. Friends of Mr Chrysler and Ms Jones, well, former colleagues (I'm 99.99% sure they don't consider them friends).

At some point I was involved with a heist, joining Mr Chrysler and Mrs Stone/Jaxx (Does she adopt Jaxx's last name? Does Jaxx have a last name? Does Jaxx adopt Mrs Stone's last name?). I remember I broke off to go rescue Boy, Jamie, Jade and Jacky. Then I was rescued by Lanky Locks. Then...everything got weird.

I'm in the front seat of the pilfered construction truck, we're careening down the highway to a automobile dealership that Mr Chrysler and the others are at. My head is pounding worse then the afterparty following Lanstrom's bogus wedding. I looked to my left to see Lanky Locks, in all his Lanky Lockness, glowing a bright yellow, like a lanky angle (angel? angle....it's angle).
"Locky Lanks" I said, the light enveloping me. "...you gotta see yourself man, it's crazy!"
"Artie, the fuck is wrong with you?" he replied in his usual way.
"You're the one who's crazy Lanky Locks! You're also lanky, did I tell you that! You're gwan' marry a Lanky woman, have Lanky kids, move into a Lanky house, get a Lanky dog, and have a Lanky job and..and a Lanky car...that's all you'll ever be is...LANKY! and that hair man...." I chortled as Alexander's hair turned into spaghetti.
"I swear to god Artemis!" he snapped, his voice growing ever so comedically high.

OOC-Play this!

Outside, things got really interesting. The land was replaced with something resembling the candy world from our perverted AR escapade. I stuck my head out the window, and took in the wonderful, sweet smelling air. I giggled with glee as lemon head bees zipped around my head, smiling happily at me.
"This is so scientifically impossible but I LOVE IT!" I yelled, as infant versions of my fellow Dwarfers (somehow still with their adult heads) rushed into view, playing with the candy animals.
I waved at them, and they waved back. I leaped from the truck and skipped to the baby Dwarfers, carrying a bag of candy. Suddenly, some police babies came into view. Their eyes grew big, so I tossed the candy them instead (who am I to say no to those faces?) The babies enjoyed the candy, I joined the Dwarfers, running and skipping. I was having the time of my life! Oh how I wish The Missus were here!

(OOC-this takes place after Jay, Cass, Jaxx, and Evelina departed) Artemis ran about throwing Catrantula syringes into the necks of the cops who had followed the construction truck, due to Artemis throwing his grenades out the window and blowing up a billboard. All of the police had been incapacitated, Plisken (who had made his/her way back to the group) and Jamie wrestled the crazed scientist to the ground. "That shit is really messing him up" Plisken said, tossing him into Jacky's car. Alex clambered into Jacky's car as well, meanwhile Jade and Kenneth helped Boyd into another car. Alex, Jacky and Artemis sped off

Next Soundtrack

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, a pterodactyl landed in front of me, with a very scantily dressed woman. I pushed the woman off and hopped on the dinosaur, and was off into a land that reminded me of Mars. I started taking pictures for The Missus, and I let out a tribal scream to let this new world know ARTEMIS K. PRITCHARD THE SIXTH IS HERE!

"God damnit Artemis!" Alex said, dodging a kick from Artemis. "How much father? If I have to keep dealing with this..."
"I don't know! I thought you were keeping track of where we were!"

I rode over a canyon where some Orcs were fighting unicorns, I swooped down and tossed bombs at the Orcs, saving the unicorns from certain death. They cheered as I swooped over again, waving to them.

I continued on my way. I looked up at the sky, it looked like Van Gogh's Starry Night, but it was moving! A shooting star shot across the sky, and landed nearby. I glided down the tie-dye canyon, running my hand across the surface of the strange color changing water. I landed near the shooting star, and walked over to it. I picked it up, it was roughly the size of an apple. I took a bite, the taste blew my mind! I gave half to my new pterodactyl friend and we rode back into the sky. Up ahead was the Grand Canyon, filled with pillows. I headed for it, whooping, ready for a good time!

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