Zoinks

I’m ill so this is absolute nonsense. You should’ve seen the first draft!

Mellow
“Should I have got them a present, Artie?”
Artemis looked up from his communicator. “Uhm, what?” (He pronounced it like ‘fhwhat?’)
Lanky Locks smiled. “I didn’t get the happy couple a pressie either” he said softly, adding a little un-Alex-like relaxed grin. The unexpected expression caused Artemis to screw up his own face a little and double take. Solvay began humming softly and tried to plait Artie’s hair. Mrs Narita’s “cigarettes” were a little stronger than even Alex had been expecting, and now he was feeling the effects. Mrs Narita’s Special Blend were nearly as nice as the mellifluous Mimian Mind-Mushers he’d sometimes enjoyed back during his gigolistic days (nights). “I’m so chill right now.” He told the wild-haired Pritchard, sounding not unlike Jaxx.
Artemis slapped the stupidly placid Alex’s hands away – causing him to giggle - and gestured somewhat angrily towards the bomb-necklaced Jacky. “I think we have bigger problems right now than wedding presents, don’t you my lad?” Then he startled everyone by turning his head to Chibbly, and yelling. “No, in fact I don’t believe they’d want a furry ‘Master of Time and Space’ as a delightful gift, no!”

Well, I say ‘everyone’, Boyd wasn’t especially fazed by the Alpaca rantings. Nor was Chibbly, oddly.

“… Oh, yes, yes Katrina, I’m still here…” Artie told the communicator.
---
15 minutes later

Alex and Chuck eventually did as Artemis had requested, bringing Jacky inside the window and placing Jaxx on the platform, so he’d be near enough to Jacky to disarm the bomb should the moment arise. A crackly communication told them that it was going to need one of the others to examine the device in person to get a better fix on what they were dealing with.

“It’s okay.” Evelina had reassured them, squinting to read the small display. “It says we have 30 hours, that’s plenty of time.” She smiled and her face lit up. It was like a breath of fresh air for everyone. Except Jacky, who’d had plenty of fresh air and understandably wasn't in the mood for more right then.

All they could do now was wait for one or some of the others to turn up, after their future-tech-fetching frolics.

A good smoke

“Got any more of those ‘rollies’ Mrs Narita?” Alex asked, amiably, flopping down against the wall near Artemis and Boyd.
She nodded sharply. “Yes. Have another fat one.” The petite Japanese woman began skinning up, and handing round her ‘special’ joints to each of the group.
“One each?” Artie asked. He’d expected to share.
“Take one to Necklace Boy over there” commanded the small-of-stature, large-of-presence, elegant lady. Solvay shrugged and did as he was told.

“Here you go Jacky. I know you like a smoke.” Seein' as how I once nicked your stash and returned it 'cause I felt mean.
Without warning, Jacky grabbed Alex’s bare arm with his skinny hands. Alex stared, the knuckles were white. “ALEX!” Cried the younger man, panicking. “Help me!”
Alex raised an eyebrow. He didn't know how to disarm a freaky deaky choker bomb. “You only like me when you’re in mortal peril.” The words were hard but the tone was soft.
“I don’t even like you then!” Squeaked Jacky.
Alex scowled and made to step away from the platform. “Smeg you.”
“No, don’t go! I’m sorry!” Jacky panted. “Anyway, it’s not as if you like anyone.”
Solvay paused his retreat and exhaled. “What makes you think that?”
Jacky screwed up his face. “Er, because you always say so.”
Jaxx skutter nodded. “That’s-true-dude. You’re-like-totally-harsh.”
Alex shrugged and shoved a joint in the roboshark’s claw, not quite sure how he was going to smoke it. “Fair dos” he agreed.

The Chat

Despite Jacky’s pleas to stay with him, Alex moved away slightly, sitting back next to Artemis. To an observer this might seem callous, until, if they bothered to look harder, they may notice that Solvay was not using the platform as a hand-rest as at first it might appear, but he’d left his hand up on the boy’s shoulder and would occasionally give it a bit of a squeeze.
“Good science!” Said Artemis in a cloud of soothing vapour. “I must say this is a most potent formulation.” He laugh-coughed as he exhaled. “It’s lucky The Missus isn’t here to see this.” His face dropped. “Oh! The Missus!” He whipped out his camera. “Say ‘cheese’ everyone.”
They did, even Jacky.
“I promised her photos of my adventures” explained the gangling scientist. Then his face became sad. “Ah, the Missus. How I miss her.”
Alex leaned his head back and exhaled. “It’s a sweet thing.”
Boyd cocked his head. “It is?”
“Aye.” He semi-smiled. “The love between a human and a skutter.”
Boyd and Mrs Narita laughed. Evelina and Jaxx exchanged an affection glance.
“Congratulations, guys.”

“They’ll be having children next.” Said Artemis. Then he hung his head. “The missus and I…”
“Want kids, I know…”
“It’s complicated.”

“Complicated?” Said Boyd. “That’s a flaming understatement and a half, isn’t it!?”
“No, no-no-no.” Said Alex, unthinkingly removing his hand from Jacky’s shoulder, leaving the lad squeaking, to make an unnecessary gesture. “I understand it.”
“You do?” Artemis turned to stare, with reddening eyes.
“I do.”

Mrs Narita watched from the other side of the room, seemingly staring blankly into space.

“I do.” Said Alex again. “Lemme tell you a secret.”
Boyd giggled. “Is it a good one?”
“Not really, no.”
Artie patted his knee. “Well go ahead, go ahead.”
“No!” Cried Boyd. “Not yet. I want to guess! You fancy Plisken?”
Alex shook his head. “She's... amazing looking... but she's got the soul of an old man!"
He sighed. "Hot though.”
“Hot though!” Mimicked Boyd. Alex wondered if the normally nervy man would start becoming paranoid any time soon.
“Although, I'm starting to get the feeling she quite likes being a woman.”
“You think so?”
Alex nodded and blew big lazy smoke rings. They were pulled towards the window.
“Don’t we all?” Barked Mrs Narita, momentarily shifting her zombified state.
“Heh.”
Artemis stretched and settled into a more comfortable position. He tried blowing some smoke rings of his own. They turned out more like curvacious clouds.

A fortunately still not paranoid Boyd sparked back into life. “What was your secret then?”
“Hmmm?”
“Your secret, Alex?”
“I’m daddybroody.”
“You’re what?”
“I miss having kids. Artie talkin’ about it the other day made it worse. And looking after Max.”
There were several “awws”, then Mrs Narita chuckled.
“You-a jus' big girl!”
“Hmpf.”
“Is that why you were looking for the time drive?” Came a quiet voice from above, it was Jacky.
“Yeah.”
“Oh Lanky Locks! The things I could do with that time drive…”
"I just wanna go home.” Alex murmured. “See my kids and wife.”

“Wife? I-uh though' you like big man-lady!” Mrs Narita said. “I though' you homo-man.”
What's she on about? Oh! “Trudy!?” The photos flashed across his mind, causing a confused selection of expressions to prod and tweak at his features. “Um, yeah, not sure how I was in those photos. I was with Phil and that lot last night…”
“I call Photoshop!” Said Boyd, getting a look from Artie.
“Phil was in one of the photos.” Pointed out Evelina. You were with Phil, right?
“Ah, the Time Fridge must’ve made another stop.”
He screwed up his face, finally remembering.
“Oh, yeah… It did.”

Turns out the goodbye snog wasn’t the only snog he’d shared with Trudy. He had a flashback of kissing her, and dancing with her. Craning upwards to kiss a girl was quite an experience...
He blinked, then shrugged with his mouth.
Meh, he’d probably kissed more... interesting... people.

He could almost hear Jacob calling him a slut, at the thought.

^A photo taken at Jaxx & Evelina's wedding.^ (Made by Jaxx IRL.)

"Oh smeg." Evelina said, her cheerful tone now as lost as Ms. Plisken currently was.
"You know how I said the bomb was set for thirty hours..."
"Yes?"
"It's thirty minutes..."

(Ah, that old gem.)

--
--

So we need one of the others' help.
The bomb's gonna go off in 30 minutes.
Like... Zoinks, Scoob!