A Gentle Cruise - Part 1

<A Gentle Cruise - Part 1>

“WOOOOOOO!” Alex whooped, partly disturbing and partly exciting the other occupants of the sleek 21st Century land vehicle.

<Snip of Alex’s (whoever that chump is)>
“He-ey, gu-uys.” Speak & Skutt interrupted. “… I think I found a clue…”
Alex looked to where Jaxx was pointing his claw, and blinked. "We're gonna need a car."
</snip>

Having been blasted with a flashback of the night before, Jaxx’s skutt-claw had been pointing first to a stylishly designed matchbook (ah the ole classic clue) on the sidewalk, and then to a distant sign that bore the same symbol. It was an establishment some distance away, apparently on the seedy outskirts of town.

“We’re gonna need a car.” Alex had said, and, superbly, Artemis and Boyd and some kind of sheep, had chosen that moment to turn up with their chariot of joy. It was like something from a film.
“It’s like a film!” He told the others, as they tore down the strip, dodging the slower drivers who were viewing the nearby signage, and gawping at the many distracting sights.
“Aaargh! Mother, Grandpops and Uncle Frank!” Exclaimed Boyd, who was doubly terrified due to the fact that he was still tripping testes.
“He’s normally so low-energy.” Artemis said of Alex, choking down his own panic. The wild haired scientist put a hand on Alex’s arm. “Lanky Locks, I think now may, possibly, be the time to-”
“Don’t tell me to slow down.” Said Alex with a dark, not altogether reassuring, grin. “Ain’t driven in years. A proper car, I mean." He cackled. "Gods I’ve missed it.”
Artemis cleared his throat politely.
“Oh, it’s not that.” He said, gently. “It’s just the teeny, probably fairly important fact that… you’re on the WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, MAN!!!!”

Everyone screamed as a truck loomed pant-soilingly close, blaring its horn and nearly turning the odd collection of passengers into People Pâté. Alex swerved at the last moment and they bumped up the central reservation where they sat for a few minutes, panting, between two pleasantly shady palm trees.

After a while of no sound other than harsh breathing and the occasional bleat from the sheep-thing, Boyd spoke up.
“That… Was… AWESOME!” He grinned widely, surprising the others. “Can we do it again!?”
“Can we not?” Pleaded a furrow browed Evelina.
Artemis and Alex exchanged a glance and laughed the relieved laugh of the recently almost-crushed.
“Ho-ly-c-ow.” Jaxx said, finally able to access his vocal processors.
“Geez man, you’re not in Australia now! We drive on the right over here.” Commented Chuck. Alex started up the engine and craned round in his seat, putting his arm behind Artemis as he reversed and altered their position. “I’m not Australian.”
“What’s with the fruity accent, then?”
Alex ignored Chuck Liddell and bumped down the reservation, pulling out onto the correct carriageway.
As they joined the normal flow of traffic, Artemis sat back and let out a long relieved breath.
“Oh, oh yes, that’s much better. Thank you Lanky Locks.”
“This-is-more-like-it.” Monodroned the Jaxxbot, beginning to find the cruise to the Kabuki house somewhat pleasurable, now he wasn’t in danger of becoming scrap metal.

“I wonder how the others are getting on” said Evelina. Alex glanced in the rear view mirror and saw that she was gazing dreamily out of the window, enjoying taking in the sights. He smiled and relaxed a little. Everything was going to be fine, they’d find Jacky, the others would easily sort out the future-tech problem. It was all gonna be cool.

“They’ll be fine, I’m sure Jay’s got it well under control. He used to have to deal with that sort of thing all the time ‘cus he used to be a time-cop. Katrina too.”
“That’s pr-etty-rad.” Said Jaxx.

“Guys…” It was Boyd, he sounded panicked.
“What is it Boy?” Artemis grumbled, having been enjoying the relative calm, himself.
“Guys I think we’re being followed. They’re TAILING US!”
Alex raised an eyebrow and peered in the mirror again. “'They?' I can’t see anything suspicious…”
Artie looked too, as did Eve.
“Don’t all stare! Squeaked Boyd. “Don’t let them know that we know! You know?”
“What?” Snapped Artie, rapidly losing his patience.
“Don’t let Them know we know that we’re being tailed.”
“Boyd?” asked Alex, calmly. “What the smeg are you going on about?”
“Ohhhoohooh.” Moaned Boyd, sitting the right way in his seat now, and rocking nervously back and forwards. “They know what we did, they know what we di-id…”
“Well I’m glad someone does.” Said Artemis, dismissing the apparent paranoia as drug-induced. “Now settle down, Boy, we’ve a young follower of Science to retrieve.”
The sheep-llama-goat creature bleated something. “LIES!” Replied Boyd, who seemed to have understood what it was saying.

The journey along the strip had slowed considerably now that they were in the traffic proper, and stuck in vacation-congestion. Artemis drummed his fingers on the dash. “Oh isn’t there a quicker way?” He huffed after a while.
“Dunno, prob’ly.”
“Like… Why-don’t-you-use-the-navigation-device?” Suggested Jaxx.
“Ah, yes, good idea.” Artie switched on the Sat Nav and, using the name on the matchbook, input their destination. “Carry on along this road for a long time.” Came the device’s helpful suggestion. Artemis cleared his throat.
“Computer!” He said, grandly. “Give us an alternative route!” There was no response. “COMPUTER!” He demanded again, with more oomph. “Kindly furnish us with an alternative route!”
Before the ‘computer’ could ignore him again, everyone was treated to minor whiplash, as the sleek black Dodge was rammed from behind by an equally black, but somewhat bulkier, Cadillac Escalade. The bumming behemoth had extremely dark tinted windows.

“I TOLD YOU WE WERE BEING FOLLOWED!” Cried Boyd.
“It… Oof. It might have been an accident.” Said Eve, rubbing her neck.
But accident it was not. Another ram caused them to smash into the crawling Camaro in front. The driver got out, and stalked towards them, glaring angrily at Alex. “Hey, what’s the big idea, buddy?”
Behind them, the Escalade revved its engine.
“Alex! Drive!”

Solvay’s eyes slid to the mirror again and he glared at their auto-attackers. “Right you are.”
With a screech of tyres he pulled out of the lane of traffic and back along a section of the central reservation, bypassing the law-abiding cars and accidentally running over the innocent Camaro driver’s foot.
“Shit!” Cried Chuck.
“Ah, he’ll be all right.” Artemis reassured.

The sinister black Escalade pulled onto the reservation also.
“Drive drive drive!” Boyd chanted, panicking his nervy ass off, and began rhythmically hammering the back of Alex’s seat.
“SOMEONE STOP HIM DOING THAT!” Bellowed Alex, braking to avoid a palm. Evelina gently restrained the nervous man.

The palm-strewn reservation made for slow and awkward progress, and it was evident the pursuers would soon catch up if they couldn’t get some distance between them.

“Over there!” Cried Artie, pointing towards a side road. A good plan, apart from the fact that it’d mean crossing the dense traffic.
“Oh smeg.” Muttered Evelina.
“HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS!” Cried Alex, in his best Samuel L. Jackson voice, and swerved violently off the reservation, steaming through the slow-moving traffic which protested with multiple horns, swerves of its own, and many an impolite gesture. Finally, having suffered only a minor clip to the wing, they made it across the dangerous river of cars and into the side streets, leaving the bulkier, clumsier Cadillac to pick its way across the road amidst even more rage than the Dwarfers (and co) had received.

“Phew, I think we lost them” said Chuck.
“Aw, don’t say that!” Worried Boyd. “Never say that! ‘Cause you’ve said that, any minute now they’ll come unexpectedly barreling down another street and smash into us.” He began groaning and rocking again.
“Chill-dude.” Instructed Jaxx.
“Shh, don’t worry. It’ll be okay.” Reassured Evelina. She exchanged a quick glance in the mirror with Alex, it seemed to say: “It will be okay, right?”
Alex, keeping the pedal to the metal, simply sniffed and asked if anyone had a cigarette.
They did not.

The blacked-out, soulless, windows of the Escalade rematerialised distantly in the rear-view. “They’re back.”
“Oh CHRIST!”
“Calm down.”
A black-clad figure leaned out of the Escalade, and the rear of the Dodge was redesigned by a hail of bullets.
“Dear Science! My car!”
Alex’s eyes narrowed and the Charger skidded round a corner into a narrower street. Predictably, they had to avoid, and in some cases were hit by, narrow-street-debris such as hanging washing and cardboard boxes.
Then, more gunfire.
“Who the hell did you piss off Artie?” Alex barked, accelerating along another street which was really not designed to be accelerated along.

“A DOG!” Screamed Boyd, pointing through the front windshield.
“You pissed off a d-? OH, SHIT!”
Alex braked hard and swung the wheel to try and stop/miraculously avoid, the small, velvety looking, brown and white puppy which sat directly in their path, innocently scratching behind a soft ear. Everything locked up, and the car skidded diagonally sidewise towards the tiny creature.
“No no no no nooo!” Someone was shouting. Alex thought it might have been himself, but time was moving in slow motion and things had gone syrupy, so it was difficult to tell.

The Dodge ground to a halt, mere inches from the baby dog, which was still scratching, unaware that it had almost become puppy pizza. Smoke rose from the tyres.
“Aargh!!!” Yelped Alex, slamming his hand on the now-still wheel, the exhilaration and relief leaving him charged and almost breathless.

A movement caught his peripheral vision, and he looked through Artie’s window to see what had become of the pursuers, and yelled again, this time in fear.
Everyone else was screaming, and bleating, too, even Jaxx in a robotic monotone.

“W’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!”

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Continued in Part 2, next -->
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