The Darkness

<Snip>
“Now you’ve got precisely [he glanced at an imaginary watch] 1 minute to explain yourself before I call up my ol’ buddy Artie.”
“Plisken!” strained Jay in a hushed tone but while Plisken’s head was turned from Boyd, he gave a reassuring wink to Jay.
“Okay, okay, I’ll talk.”

<edit>

"OKAY! OKEY FRICKIN DOKEY! I'LL TALK! MY NAME IS BOYD CHARLES EMERSON WEATHERS! MY PARENTS HAD A WEIRD SEXUAL FASICNATION ABOUT THE OLD SHOW M*A*S*H! THAT'S WHY MY MIDDLE NAME IS CHARLES EMERSON! I'M HALF IRISH! I HAVE OCD, PARANOIA, SCHIZOPHRENIA, AND GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER! MY FAVORITE COLOR IS BLUE BUT I DON'T KNOW IF BLUE HAS THE SAME FEELINGS FOR ME! I'M JUST A PILOT FOR HIRE! ME AND MY FRIEND CHET USE MY SHIP 'MRS. LADY' FOR WHATEVER JOB WE'RE DOING! I DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN INVESTIGATE THE CFTCOAH INC. INCORPORATED! THAT'S ALL I KNOW ABOUT MYSELF!"

Jay and Plisken stood, staring at Boyd in disbelief in what they just heard, Plisken looked towards Jay,

"I don't think he's any threat other to himself, he's just insane." Said Plisken

"Alright then, I think we should leave." Said jay

</edit>

Jay and Plisken exited the room, Boyd being allowed to go his separate way.
“We are too old for this,” moaned Plisken.
“Definitely,” smiled Jay, “But we still need to get that Time Drive. You think your Ex could help?”
Plisken turned and looked at Jay as if he’d just claimed that Firefly was a bad show, “What? No! You really think I’m going to go ask Garnet for help? I bet she’s just loving this,” he waved his hands down the general area of his new body.
“What’s she even doing down, well, where ever she is?”
Plisken and Jay began to walk back to the refectory, the same direction that Boyd and went in, which was probably not the best idea since Artemis was most likely still there with an eager scalpel and bones saw.
“She’s guarding something. She chose, which is nice, I guess.”
“What’s she guarding?”
“Nah, doesn’t matter,” said Plisken, waving away the question, “But what does matter is this Time Drive.”
</Snip>

As Jay and Plisken were walking away, they heard screaming coming from the room they just left, it was Boyd.

"What do you think's going on?" Asked Jay

"I don't know, maybe he's just having an episode." Plisken replied

As the screaming continued, Plisken sighed and looked at Jay,

"Let's see what's wrong."

They entered the room to find Boyd in the corner in the fetal position screaming every second. Plisken came up to him,

"What is your problem?!"

"It's the Darkness!"

"The What?"

"The Darkness! A CFTCOAH inc corporation's evil weapon! It happens anytime I close my eyes! AGH! AH! AH! AH! AH!"

Plisken dropped his head and walked towards the door.

"Get Artemis, Alex, somebody. I'm not dealing with this."

They walked out of the room as Boyd kept screaming, hoping for some help.

Tag, anyone really