Weekend at Toby's

<snip>
"Artie."
"Hmm?"
"ARTIE!?"
Artie sighed, stopped again, dropped the wheelbarrow's handles, and threw his hands up, irritated to have his journey and musings interrupted yet again. "WHAT?"

"Why's he unconscious?"

<snip/>

"Because...." Artemis began. "As the fates would have it, this man is rather demented. Or as you kids say, batshit crazy" Boyd stirred. Artemis hit him over the head with a spanner. Alex gave him a wary stare. "What? This man tried to stab me with a spork!" Artemis sighed. "Look, if you're so concerned about him than why don't you come with me?"

Alex sighed. "I know I'm going to regret this but where are you taking him?" "I'm going to lock him in Toby's room" Replied Artemis. "Okay, now who is Toby?" Alex asked, knowing the answer would be.... "A half lizard, half many half bird GELF I made years ago! He survived in the deep freeze, isn't that splendid?" .....weird. "I keep him in a cell because Toby is...well, batshit crazy. Don't worry, we'll put him in a pet carrier before we put spork boy in there" Alex didn't like the sound of Toby, but part of the angel still lingering inside wanted him to make sure that this new fellow didn't end up dead in Artie's lab. "Okay, I'll give you a hand" Alex said warily. "Splendid! Let us depart!"

Alex didn't feel safe in Artemis' lab. Sure, it was cleaner and less scary looking, but there was still enough immoral experiments in there to kill the whole lot of them!

Alex helped Artemis bring their guest into the storage room. In the back was a small cell adorned with pink letters reading "Toby's Room", along with biohazard stickers and warnings about losing a finger. "Artie, what's the biohazard warning for?" Alex asked. "Oh, yes, don't let Toby drool on you are you'll get hepatitis a through x!" Artemis grabbed a syringe and a Louisville Slugger. He whistled and called out "PAAAAATCHES! Daddy needs you!" A cat sized tarantula scurried into the room. Alex jumped up on the table and grabbed a meat cleaver. "Mr. Solvay! We've had this discussion!" Artemis said. "I don't care if it shits in a box and meows like a damn cat!mit's a giant spider for smegs sake!" Alex proclaimed. Artemis giggle at his crewmate as he hoisted Patches into his arms. He stuck the syringe into one Patches' fangs and sucked out enough venom to kill a professional basketball team. He then turned the happy cat brained/sized spider loose. Alex came down from the table. "So what's that for?" he asked. "Putting Toby to sleep" Artemis said, handing Alex the syringe. Artemis grabbed a chocolate cupcake out of small box and climbed on top of Toby's cage. Artemis opened the door and tossed the cupcake in front of the cage. A lizard/bird man with a resemblance of Gollum from Lord of the Rings scampered out and grabbed the cupcake. Artemis leaped off the cage and tackled him. The two rolled around on the floor, Artemis managed to pin Toby down after beating him senseless with the Louisville Slugger. "The syringe lanky locks! In his buttocks!" Artemis shouted. "What? Why? Can't we...." "It's where his skin is the softest! Do it now before it's too late!" Alex begrudgingly stabbed Toby in the ass, the venom seeped in and Toby was out in a matter of seconds.

Once Toby was in the pet carrier the guest was loaded into the cage. After an hour of waiting he finally came to.

"My god! They finally did it! CHET! GET THE STICK! GET THE POINTED STICK," he shouted. Artemis and Alex rushed to the cage. "The man in white has come to take my sweet meats!" He yelled. "We're not here to take your damn sweet meats! Who are you!" Alex yelled. "Jesus loves me a whole bunch! Because he puts skippy in my lunch!" The man yelled back. Artemis pondered something, he quickly fetched something from the supply cabinet and returned. Using goo goo eyes (Artemis would put them on the lab machinery so he would feel less stupid when yelling at them) and magic marker, Artemis made a puppet out of his sock. He kneeled down and talked to the man through the sock. "Hi little boy!" Artemis said in his best cartoon voice. "I'm Archimedes K. Sockengarten VI! I'm your best friend!" The man leaned over. "Look man, I've got ten bottles of cream soda in my ship, all yours if you bust me out!" "What's your name?" "Uh....Boyd, Boyd Weathers!" "Hello Boy! What are you doing here! Where did you come from?" "It's not Boy, it's Boyd! And I'm running from the CFTCOAH inc. corporation, they're trying to get me! Oh but they can't now! Not now that we're a team!" Artemis stepped back. "As I said, batshit crazy" Artemis said. "Perhaps we should ask Jay what to do with him" said Alex. "Yes, I agree. I'll give Mr. Weathers some food and we'll...." "DR. PRITCHARD!" Seymour's voice ripped through the lab. "Seymour?" Alex said. The two men peeked into the main lab where Seymour was rolling around looking for Artemis. "I require your assistance in a....delicate matter....oh, what's this?" Seymour rolled up to the pet carrier. "Hello little doggy!" Toby grabbed Seymour and tried pulling him inside the carrier. "Seymour!" Alex and Artemis charges into the lab. "No Toby! You let that pompous ass go this instant!"

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