The Dwarfers' Die.....

<snip>
The Angel crashed through a stone balcony and landed heavily, winding himself. “… Ow.”
Dungeon Master Tregard appeared.
“Tregard… We need Plisken… How can we win without Plisken?”
The Dungeon Master's face was worried, but his words contained hope.
“Black Jade and King Kong have great skill. The Hulk strength... of soul, The Ubermensch immense brains. The Iron Man’s heart, and the affection of the two young ones can defeat it yet…”
“Of course” the angel smiled. “Love” he said simply, before morphing completely back into his normal Alex self. Blue-coverall clad, even in the game.
He looked down at himself, disappointed. “Why? Tregard?”
“There is no more for you to do here now, you have broken your wings and you must leave it up to your friends.”
“Can’t I help?”
“No. It is time for you to go home.”
And suddenly, as quick as that, he was back in the AR Suite.
<snip/>

"Lanky....Alex? ALEX!!" Artemis shouted, using Alex's proper name for the first time since the swamp. Treaguard appeared. "Damnit, why are we loosing so many people! How are we supposed to win!" Artemis raved. "You need to work together Übermensch, you still have each other!" Said Treaguard. "Yes my dear boy, but have you seen the size of that blasted thing?" Artemis pointed at the kraken. "You'll find a way...."

The Dwarfers took to battle against the Kraken. Mech Girl and Gummy were trying to cut apart the the Kraken from below while the Jades, Jackie, and Jay concentrated on it's upper body. Meanwhile, Jamie poured on a continuous stream of suppressive fire. Artemis ran up from behold and supercharged his weapons. The supercharged weapons did little other than piss it off. The kraken smacked the Dwarfers away and started to bring a tentacle down on the iron man and übermensch. Artemis quickly changed the beam to invulnerability. The tentacle came down on the pair, but did little in terms of damage (although they still felt the pain immensely). The Dwarfers retreated out of the Kraken's reach. "This isn't working" Panted Mech Girl. "Well obviously or it'd be dead" Artemis snapped. "Any ideas?" Artemis added. Jay transformed back into his regular self. "We might have a chance if we combined all our powers and fought together instead of splitting up" Said Jay. "Artemis, stay in the back and ubercharge the group. Eve, Jamie, stay back with Artemis but use your ranged weapons to support me, Jade, Jacky, and Jaxx as we close in for a melee assault" Everyone agreed with the plan and set out to carry it out.

The constant uber-assault of bullets and energy beams weakened the kraken for the melee attack. Jay, Jacky, Jade, and Jaxx tore up the Kraken like it was nothing. However, Robotnik swooped down with a book clutched in his hand. He started reading the book. "No supercharging!" Shouted Robotnik. The übergun shut down, Artemis tried frantically to restart it. "No supersuits!" Mech girl's power drained out, and iron man's reactor shut off. "No mutants!" Jay and Jade returned to normal. "And no super beings!" Artemis and Jacky returned to normal. The Kraken prepared to smash them when Artemis shouted "PAUSE!" A pause screen came up, freezing everything except the Dwarfers.

"How did he take our powers away like that?" Jacky shouted. "He didn't, he changed the rules of the game...that's the AR rule book he has up there" Jamie chimed in. "Can we change the rules?" Asked Jacky. "Yes Mr. Kong, but there's a 99.8% chance that he'll change them again like a big baby!" Artemis proclaimed. "Good science this has gotten out of hand! I remember when this was a fun game of dungeons and....." Artemis stopped. He began to ponder something. "I know one way he can't change the rules....TREAGUARD!" Treaguard appeared beside Jade, startling her. "Yessss?" "Could we implement a twenty sided die in this game?" "Why yes you can!" "And since you're the dungeon master only you can decide if it's okay to remove it?" Treaguard held out a clear twenty sided die with a miniature Blue Dwarf in the middle. "You're damn right!" Artemis took the die. "Okay, here's the plan. We'll use the die to permit an instant kill of the Kraken. If we land on any even number than we kill it, but if it hits an odd...than the virus takes full control of. Blue Dwarf" There was an eerie silence. "Let's do it" Jay said.

"Unpause!" Robotnik couldn't see the Dwarfers. One minute the Kraken was about to maul them, the next, gone! Suddenly he heard something. (get ready to giggle! http://youtu.be/IGVZOLV9SPo)

We are young!
Heartache to heartache!

The Dwarfers came over the hill. They had shed their game avatars and taken their original forms. They were all dancing towards Robotnik and the Kraken, singing....

We are strong!
No one can tell us we're wrong!
Searching our hearts for so long!

The Dwarfers stood side by side on the hill, they all pointed at Robotnik

Both of us knowing!

LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD!

"So, you've come to entertain me? Is that it?" Robotnik sneared.
"No! We've come to demand your surrender!" Jay announced.
"Or we'll bend your penis up your very own ass!" Artemis added, getting weird looks.

"And why would I do that?" Jay held up the die. "Oh? So you came to challenge me to a game of chance?" Jaxx stepped forward. "If we get an even, then you're like...dead dude!" "And if I get an odd?" The Dwarfers looked at each other. "We'll shut down the firewalls...." said jay. "Roll then! Roll your pitiful die!"

Suddenly, the Dwarfers went to work. Artemis and Jacky put their scientist hats on and started running calculations, Jade, Eve, and Jamie adjusted Jay's stance according to what the two scientists called out. Jay had been posed in a mathematically perfect way, so perfect that it was impossible for the Dwarfers to lose!

"On the count of three throw the die" Artemis said. "One...two..three!" Jay threw the die. It rolled down the hill and landed on 17. "hah! you lose!" Robotnik shouted. "Wait for it!" Jacky yelled.

The die rolled to 20. The Dwarfers started cheering as a blue beam shot out of the die and destroyed Robotnik and the Kraken, effectively destroying the virus. The Dwarfers continued to sing Love is a Battlefield as the AR simulation ended.

Achievement Unlocked: Love is a Battlefield 100G

Artemis' eyes shot open. He pulled the gloves and goggles off. Artemis sat up and looked around at the others. On his left was Jaxx and Eve, who looked just as hungover as Artemis did. On his right were two empty pods where Alex and Plisken had been. "What the hell? Mister Plisken!" Artemis suddenly realized what had happened. The Dwarfers tore out of the AR suite and charged down the corridors of the now virus free ship....

TAG!

So who else has Pat Benatar stuck in their head now?