Judgement Jay

<snip>
"Excuse me..." She got up and pushed her chair under the table. Walking quickly she paused by Jay, looking him fiercely in the eyes and speaking so that only he could hear her. "She was my friend, and I will not let your ego put her in danger again."
With that she hurried out, letting the tears for her lost friend fall after the door slid shut behind her. They never had got that night out.
<end snip>
Jade sighed as she walked into her office a few hours later and spotted Jay sat in her chair.
“What are you doing here?” she said grumpily.
“I thought you’d be glad I was in the medi-bay ‘where I belong’”
“I’d be more pleased about it if you were actually here because you cared about your well being…why ARE you here, I’m busy”
“I came to apologise.” Jay said simply, getting up out the chair and, leaning on his cane, limping around to the other side.
“You had every right to be angry. And you’re right, I’ve not no rights to give orders, I gave up that right when I detonated that nuke on the bug homeworld…”
Jade didn’t say anything, she just slipped around her desk and into her chair.
“I respect that you question my motives. No-one should have to do what I’m asking without understanding why. So let me get this straight. I would take a bullet for every single member of this crew…”
Except Pancake he said in his head
“Even Pancake” he said out loud “but I would take a thousand bullets for Cass. I’d throw myself into the line of fire again and again if I thought it would keep her safe. I care about Cass more than you could ever know. I’ve sent people to their deaths, and killed people, and not one of them ever haunted me like the way I hurt her back on Fernando’s. I never ever wanted to hurt her, I didn’t use her. I loved her….and…if I could change things, I would...but Katrina....”
He stopped talking for a second and looked away from Jade.
“..and, I’m scared Jade. Under all that bluster, she’s so vulnerable…and lonely. And she’ll never admit to it, but she’ll be terrified. Britney is dangerous. Very dangerous, and she has Cass…because of me. And I’m scared that I’ll never see her again…because of me.”
His tone had softened greatly and his voice was cracking.
“We all want Cass back” he continued “it’s all that matters…”
“Jay…I..”
“I know this isn’t my crusade alone. Honestly, if I didn’t think people would help me, I’d never have asked. I'd have done this alone if I had to…she belongs here. With us….but the blame is mine. You couldn’t have stopped her going with Britney if you’d tried. You’ve got no fault here Jade. Cass would never blame you either. She’s there, because of me. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t deserted the STCP. If I’d not come back to Blue Dwarf. If I’d not cracked her tough shell…made her care…”
“I don’t expect your respect Jade, I don’t deserve it….but we’re no good to Cass if we’re fighting. Can we agree to save it for Britney?....I will get her back. I promise. After that…if you, Cass, Solvay or anyone wants it…I’ll leave.”

<tag Jade!>