The Niples Ointment (sorry, couldn\'t resist)

As Tara left, at the end of her shift, Dr Keto glanced out of his
office again, just to check that no further ointments had been
knocked over and/or congealed.
Fortunately, it appeared that all seven hundred and sixty four
bottles and vials were intact. What Dr Keto DID see, however, was
Commander...no, he corrected himself, Captain Niples standing there
looking somewhat the worse for wear.
"Ah, Captain Niples," he said, stepping briskly out of the
office, "I hear you had a close shave with an asteroid."
"Y..." began Captain Niples, realising to his horror that Keto
thought he was a patient. Before he could complete his excuse,
however, the doctor interrupted.
"I suppose you don't realise the degree to which you could have
been subjected to harmful radiation, hmm?" asked Keto, rather
sarcastically, "Not to mention the fact that you look utterly
exhausted!"
"But I..."
"No buts! We can't have our new captain dropping down dead in his
first week of the post! Last time that happ..."
Dr Keto blinked and shook his head.
"Aaaaanyway, we have to deal with that radiation poisoning straight
away!" he said, and headed over towards a shelf full of little
bottles and jars. Captain Niples stepped backwards hurriedly towards
the door as Keto reached up for a container. The Captain made one
last-ditch attempt to avoid what was almost certainly a month's
ointment treatment.
"Look, I d..."
"Here, take one of these every three days," said Keto, turning
round and handing a small packet of pills to Niples. The Captain was
stunned into silence. Keto looked up at him.
"Well? What is it?" asked the doctor, seeing Niples' face.
"...no ointment?" Niples managed, incredulously. He was about to
smile with relief, when suddenly the doctor grinned.
"Oh, of course. I nearly forgot!" he said, and handed Niples three
large vials of green-blue ointment. The Captain groaned inwardly as
Keto said, "Apply these to your head, chest and legs four times a day
except on every second Tuesday...and get some rest! As your doctor,
I order it. The Captain has to be in top condition!"
Niples walked out of the medical bay, carrying the three bottles,
and wondered exactly how he was supposed to get some rest when he had
to apply the average ocean-sized mass of ointment daily.
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OOC - been absent for a while, but I have been reading the posts! Dr
Keto is still alive and kicking. Maybe he was in mourning for the
Big Pink Tree. ;)