It's Getting Harder All The Time

<snip>"Careful who you call pixie." She grinned as a surprised Alex began to topple of his perch. "Or you might find yourself in more trouble than you can handle Mr Frowny."</snip>

Alex suddenly found himself on his back, in the mud, aching in several departments and fashions.
Instinct and years of practice had kept the fag in his mouth, allowing him to retain one small shred of dignity. It really was only one, as most of the others stopped their respective conversation and arguing to momentarily stare, or chuckle.
“Yeah, very funny” he grumped, as Jade clapped a highly-amused hand over her mouth.
“I’m sorry!” She said, “I didn’t know you were gonna fall off your rock!”
Alex wanted to retort with something like “is that a euphemism?” but with no device to double check with, he was only 97.5% sure it was the right word, and everyone’s eyes on him made him self-conscious.
“Oh smeg off!” He snapped instead, hoping they were looking at his face, and not his trousers.

Turned out being grumpy was worse than seeming stupid, ‘cause suddenly, Jade was looking hurt.
"Oh... Not you."
Plisken, who was sitting calmly nearby, raised an eyebrow. The subtle movement speaking volumes. "Or you" Alex added.
Cass raised both eyebrows, but - still mad at her - Alex did not excuse her from the smeg-offery. She scowled.
Jaxx and Evelina's faces were downcast. "But, dude" Jaxx said sadly "we like totally brought your bag from the amusement park realm for you."
"You did?" Alex blinked. "Yeah, dude. Look, it's like over by that tree stump over there."
"Uh, thanks, Jaxx" a somewhat humbled Alex mumbled. "Good, um... Good shark. Thing."

“C’mon, up you get Mr Frowny.” The naughty doc offered him a hand - which he knew to be perfectly strong - but, seeing as Jacky and Jaxx were still watching he didn’t take, choosing to awkwardly shove and lever himself up instead. His pride was currently smarting almost as much as his leg.
To be fair, though, he thought, how am I supposed to keep my wits about me, when Jade’s being all scary and sexy? She smiled, making it worse. He glowered, and tried to think of Justin Pancake eating a cabbage leaf.
Stupid sexpixie.

“What you tryin’ to do to me?” He murmured for her ears only, perching his mucky self back on the rock. He searched his pockets again, found his lighter, and lit the welcome fag.
“Hang on!” Jade grabbed some water off Katrina, and started inspecting his leg.
“Hm?” He prompted.
“You’re so dirty…” she began, ignoring the question and causing him to clear his throat in an odd, twisted, little way.
She shook her head, and pulled what Alex had started to recognise as her ‘doctorly’ expression. “I definitely need to wash you off, after your little hollow wallow there.”
He opened his mouth to speak but she was still talking. “What do you think you are, anyway? A hippo?”
“A- What? No, Jade, I mean-“
“Thanks for the cigarette?” She beamed, not letting him get a word in edgewise “You’re welcome.”
Why is she talking so much?
“Uh, yeah. Thank you.”

Silenced, for the moment, with narrowed eyes he watched her examine his tacky, sore calf. Now that the adrenaline and the relief of being freed from the bugs had worn off, and the joy at escaping the spikes had calmed a little – Did I really dance? – the leg was throbbing more powerfully than the vein in Seymour’s head did, every time Alex refused to do some ridiculously unnecessary piece of lackey work - like dusting the soon-to-be-ejected garbage pods.
He gave an involuntary sharp intake of breath as Jade did something painful to the wound.
She ran a slinky hand over his thigh to reassure him. “Nearly done.” Suddenly the pain wasn’t as acute.
“Unnff… Jeez, Jade.”
“I wasn’t even touching it that time!” She meant the leg.
“More’s the pity…” He didn’t.
“What?”
She was looking up at him with those lovely grey eyes, curious, innocent. Or at least pretend-innocent. He wasn’t sure.
“Nuthin’” he sighed, and suddenly really, really missed his quarters. “I need a shower.”
“Finished!” She cast her eyes over his filthy self. “And, yeah, you can say that again. MmMMMmmmmm...”
The ‘mmmm’ was because she was stretching, right in front of him, apparently forgetting her shirt was open. His eyes found themselves in her cleavage.
“Think I’ll join you, there!” She said.
“I mean” she explained, catching his expression “I mean that I need a shower, too.”

Oh Gods.
Alex wondered how the hell he was gonna manage the rest of the mission.

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<I wanted to include more people talking but I'm late for a phone call and I said I'd post this before Locke posted later! Sorry.>