Censure

<snip>
There was another, louder rumble and the ground tremored slightly. Jade looked down at the tin cup of water next to Cass. The ripples in it were obvious and not because of the rain.

"LETS HUSSLE IT UP HERE PEOPLE!" WhiteWolf cried, powering through the undergrowth and nimbly scampering up the back of the dinosaur tail.
</snip>
…
<snip>
Alex thought for a second and then drew a picture on the ground to show where the camp was and where the wreckage that contained Justin's Bee. Evelina stared at the picture for a moment and then said, "I got it.Thanks."
Then Jaxx and Evelina set off in the direction of the lake by their camp.
</snip>

“Where the hell are you two going!?” Jay shouted down from the back of one of the huge dinosaurs, as everyone else slipped and scrambled up onto the two beasts in the sheeting rain
“Dude! We're going back to get Bedge!” Jaxx called back
“What the smeg!?” Jay snapped “It’s a twelve day round trip!”
“We need to move!” White Wolf yelled urgently, spurring the dinosaur he was riding into ponderous motion “There’s a massive carnivore heading our way!”
“Smeg’s sake!” Jay hissed, leaning over to haul Phi, the last of the stragglers clambering onto his dinosaur, up and into one of the saddle harnesses
“Jaxx!" he yelled "We’ll worry about Bedge later! Get up here! Move!”

Spurring his Brachiosaur, Jay guided the huge beast in between the trees as fast as he was able to coax it, the weight and momentum of the colossal creature smashing through the jungle as if the towering fern-trees were little more than tall grasses


Cass, predictably enough, was sat on the swaying, rain slicked back of the other dinosaur with White Wolf, in the company of fully one half of the Dwarf’s compliment, and yet feeling utterly alone
Silently fingering her crude EM weapon, she gazed mutely behind them, dully taking in the massive, ten metre high bipedal carnivore that had emerged from the trees, and out into the clearing they had just vacated
The huge mottled green coloured animal opened its mouth when it spotted them and let loose a deafening roar, giving the Dwarfer’s a terrifying view of its multitude of serrated, half-metre long teeth, before it lowered its head and charged after the two fleeing Brachiosaurs
“That bastard’s quick!” Jade, sat near Cass, shouted worriedly “Can’t you make this thing go any faster?”
“I’m trying as hard as I bloody well can” White Wolf snapped in frustration, his claws digging hard into the dinosaurs thick hide, trying to spur it along that little bit faster
“Stay tight!” Jay yelled from the back of his own creature as it continued crashing through the jungle alongside them, some twenty or so metres away
Seemingly loosing interest in the chase, the predator darted off to the left, through into the trees and was lost to sight in the dense forest and sheeting, grey rain within seconds
“Crap” White Wolf hissed, water dripping from his fur as he glanced back over his shoulder “Where the hell's it gone?”
His question was answered only moments later as the massive carnivore erupted in a maelstrom of broken branches and flying leaves from a thicket of trees to their left; its mouth opened wide for a killing strike as it bore down on the balefully bellowing and terrified Brachiosaur
Dialling up the last of the remaining charge in her weapon, Cass wheeled in the saddle to bring the device around and trigger it in the attacking beasts face, boiling one of the creature’s yellow eyes, which blew out in a messy detonation, making the animal bellow in pain and veer away in shock to escape off into the forest
“Oh my word, that was close” Seymour said weakly “Jolly good show Ms. Jones! That weapon of yours is quite the mustard!”
“We’re just lucky we're still in the null field zone” Cass shrugged and lapsed back into her morose silence

Untroubled any further by the pursuing predator, White Wolf and Jay, by general agreement, slowed the two dinosaurs to a brisk trot and, over the next hour or so, the Dwarfer’s skirted around the outer edge of Hyrasamoura’s city limits; the tang of smoke from the fires lit during the uprising the previous day, still hanging heavy in the wet morning air around them
“There it is!” Efof suddenly called, pointing through the trees and the worsening rain towards the dark bulk of the large shuttle craft, crouched down amidst the trees; its sleek gunmetal black hull untarnished by age and, weirdly untouched by any of the riot of vegetation proliferating around it

Scrambling down from the backs of the dinosaurs, the crew quickly searched the shuttle for an entrance hatch; Efof being the first to locate one, situated beneath the belly of ship, but he was unable to open it until one of the human crewmembers approached, when an entrance gangway lowered soundlessly down from the shuttle, permitting access to the ship’s interior
“Some sort of geneotype sensor” Cass frowned as the rest of the crew swarmed gratefully inside “Must have kept the Haruk and everything else out”

It took about an hour for the Dwarfer’s to familiarise themselves with the shuttles controls, and before long the craft had been completely reactivated and was well on the way towards being prepped for flight in spite of the steadily worsening storm outside
"You know, I can't believe this thing's still spaceworthy after all these years!" Seymour burbled happily "I just can't wait to get back - Just think! Fine wine, flushing toilets and Egyptian cotton sheets!"
“Not all at the same time, I hope?” Phil smirked “What about you Alex? What are you looking forward to?”
“Cigs and locking doors” Alex sighed “Can’t wait”
Cass got up and drifted away from the conversation before she could be asked

After perhaps another half hour, the ship was finally ready to leave, and amidst an air of almost impatient excitement, the crew assembled beneath the fuselage, out of the rain that was bouncing down outside, to bid Efof a final farewell
“Well” Jay said, offering his hand to the blue alien “I guess this is it for now huh?”
“I guess so” The Ffionian smiled broadly, and clasped his hand with the four of his and shook it enthusiastically
"Are you sure you want to go out into that?" Jay nodded out at the, rain sheeting down outside
"Yeah" Efof beamed "I'm in love; there’s nothing I wouldn’t do!"

Slowly making his way around the rest of crew, Efof said his many goodbyes. Some were merely cursory, whereas others were heartfelt and long
Seymour, for example, waffled on for ages giving the Ffionian the benefit of his many years of wisdom on an array of topics, ranging from how best to treat a lady, to responsible family planning, and the correct etiquette when dealing with tribal elders
Even in spite of his bluster, and insistence that he really had got something in his eye, you could tell that the Royal Ambassador was quite choked up about “The moronic blue imbecile’s” departure
Cass, hovering silently on the periphery of the group, was one of the last to say her farewells, and when Efof approached her, she sheepishly folded her arms and took a deep breath
"There's no need Efof" she said simply “I’m staying too”
“What!?” Jay snapped incredulously, from nearby “You can’t”
“Why not?” Cass shrugged, her eyes flashing as her expression hardened “There’s almost nothing I need to get back to the Dwarf for, and I sure as hell don’t fancy being cooped up there watching you playing happy smegging families”
“There’s no need to be like that!” Jay retorted dismissively
“Oh piss off!” she rounded on him angrily “I've done nothing wrong to you and all you’ve done is treat me like shit. I... I do have feelings, you know?”
She paused, the corners of her mouth tightening as her eyes brimmed with tears
“I understand you doing what you’re doing” she continued, her voice choked with emotion “I don’t have to like it, but trying to make a go of it with Katrina for Max’s sake is the right thing to do. I get that...”
Taking a deep, shaky breath, the first hot, glistening tears spilled down her cheeks
“I get it” she repeated “But I’ve done nothing wrong. All I did was fall in love... I didn’t want to, but I did; and with that awful power, you’ve done nothing but smegging hurt me”
"Cass..." Jay protested
“I even forgave you for trying to kill me, you bastard" she pressed on, ignoring him "And now at the very end of it you mock me by suggesting I go fuck Pancake instead?”
"It was..."
“You piece of fucking shit” she suddenly screamed, near doubling over in anger “How fucking dare you?”
“How dare you have so little regard for me or my feelings you callous, unfeeling, selfish fucking piece of shit!”
“That... It was meant to be a joke” Jay protested
Cass flew at him in response to this, lashing a hand out and across his cheek with a speed and ferocity that took him quite by surprise
Gods she was quick
“Do you see me fucking laughing!?” she screamed “You fucking bastard!”
“I've done nothing wrong... Nothing” she repeated, the fight suddenly draining from her as her face contorted in misery, her voice bubbling through her now freely flowing tears “I don’t want to be cooped up on the Dwarf, having you twisting the knife in my heart, watching you playing happy fucking families; so fuck you Jay. I’m staying here!”
“For pity’s sake” Jay snapped angrily “Don’t be so stupid. You’ll be... OW!”
He turned to glare venomously at whoever had just cuffed him hard over the back of his head and was surprised to see his wife standing behind him, arms folded and wearing an expression like thunder
“What was that for!?” he demanded
“Shut up Jay” Katrina hissed “Just shut up!”
A single sob escaping her lips, Cass turned tail and ran out into the storm outside
“You fucking idiot” Katrina snarled at Jay before taking off after Cass, closely followed by Jade, and leaving Jay to turn and survey the rest of the assembled crew
"It was meant to be a joke..." he said lamely
"Well, I haven't seen anyone laugh at it yet, you dickhead" Alex scowled as he too turned to go, to follow the three women out into the storm and make sure they were okay
"Well, ah… That was awkward" Seymour piped up in the silence that followed
Jay shook his head
"Fuck off Seymour"


Soaked to the skin and covered in mud, Katrina returned around a half hour later, leading the small group of bedraggled looking Dwarfer’s back into shelter under the shuttle, her arm clamped protectively around Cassandra, who she silently steered up the access ramp and into the shuttle
Jay, who had been left outside the ship on his own by the others (in some cases in disgust), ceased his nervous pacing as soon as he saw them
"Hey..." he said softly, but was quickly silenced by a venomous glare from Katrina
"Oh, smegging shit" Jay sighed, running his hands back through his hair in impotent frustration as he watched the small group file into the shuttle
This was so far from how he had wanted things to go, it was unreal
He mentally chided himself, not for the first time, and wished to hell that he had bothered engaging his brain and thinking for just the one second before he had opened his big, stupid mouth last night
What the smeg had possessed him!?
After six hundred and forty years, he was disappointed to find that he was still just the same old dumb arsehole that he had always been

Katrina interrupted his thoughts by stalking back down the gangway; her arms folded and wearing a stony expression
"Kat" Jay began "Would you tell her I'm sorry?"
"You'll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again" Katrina snapped "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I... I didn't think" he replied, shaking his head and sighing "I'm so sorry"
"It's no use apologising to me!" Kat retorted sharply "You know the way she thinks - What you said will have howled around her mind in an ever increasing, screaming whirl. How the hell could you be so stupid!?"
"Kitty, please!" Jay protested "I'm back together with you! She was so pleased to see me; I had to end it with her!"
Katrina shook her head
"Not like that Jay. Not like that!"
"I know!" Jay threw his hands up in frustration "I wish I hadn’t, and I'm sorry it went like that, but I had finish it with her; she had already kissed me, and if I hadn't she would have wanted to drag me off into the bushes or something!"
"And would it really have mattered?" Kat asked slowly "Don't get me wrong Jay, I'm absolutely thrilled we're back together; but I get that the two of you have unfinished business, and on top of the scores of other partners you'll have undoubtedly had these last six centuries, would one last farewell fuck really have mattered?"
"I..." Jay was aghast "Yes!"
He moved forward to grab one of Katrina's reluctant hands and squeeze it between the two of his as he stared into her eyes
"There was never anyone else" he insisted
"Other than Cassandra?" Kat's eyebrows quirked sceptically
"Other than her"
"Jay..." Katrina pulled her hand deliberately from his "The STCP gave me seventy years at the enthusiastic prime of my life; are you seriously expecting me to believe that in six hundred years, and out of all the other trillions of women throughout human history, Cassandra Jones was the only one that ever turned your head?"
"I promise you" Jay said earnestly
"That's not human" Katrina shook her head "Brittany did something to your mind"
Jay closed his eyes and breathed out a ragged sigh
"Cass used to say that too"
"Listen" Katrina sighed "I managed to convince her to stay with us, but we've wasted enough time already - We should go before she changes her mind. We'll talk about everything later, but you're still in big trouble mister"

Jay was about to say something when a bestial scream of pain split the air and a heavy thud sounded against the hull of the shuttle, making the craft rock alarmingly above them
"What the smeg was that?" Kat demanded, a note of panic edging into her voice
"Guys!" Efof emerged from down the gangway "That Tyrannosaur or whatever you call it is back! I’m going to need a distraction to escape!"
"Shit" Jay hissed, wheeling away from Katrina "So was that what was thudding against the hull?"
"Oh, that was one of the Brachiosaurs" Efof replied matter-of-factly "The Tyrannosaur just killed it and its body's pinning the shuttle"

<tag>
We're nearly home - Can anyone think of a way to provide a diversion so Efof can safely escape, and how do we shift a forty ton lump of meat off the shuttle?
Are there any weapons aboard the ship?
Can our engineers come up with something?

It's all over to you to sort us out and send us home :)

Wrt Bedge, thanks for trying to help Jaxx, but we'll worry about him if Alfredo wants to come back - In the meantime, a backup copy of our favourite pervert, mister Justin Pancake, will be waiting for us aboard the Dwarf
Oh, and I guess Alex will be doing Seymour's laundry from now on ;)
</tag>